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Carl Halling Jul 2016
In every case, there is a sorrow
Attached to advancing age,
And the decline attendant upon it,
Decline physical, mental, emotional,
In every case, there is a sorrow.

But somehow, there is a special sorrow,
In the pathetic tears
Of an ageing man,
Looking back at the thousand plus follies
Of a stupidly misspent youth,

But somehow there is a special sorrow,
Attached to those who look back
With eyes filled with the tears
Of fathomless and torturous regret,
And of promise unfulfilled.
'In Every Case There Is a Sorrow' is a recent piece, patently inspired by one of those periodic bouts of, well, sorrow, to which I'm subject, but with which I am at present unable to identify.
Just Me Jul 2016
I have no one to talk to.
I have no one who knows.
I don't feel sorry for myself, but I need strength.
I fear the future,  because of the past.
And I embrace the future, because I know it brings this moment to the past.
What a disgusting person I must be, because broken never looked good on anyone and pathetic is how it reads on me.
So stupid to have not realized I was in a game.
I was caught off guard and its not about losing...
Just the fact that I didn't want to play.
It's amazing the things I didn't see.
It's ridiculous, what I thought I saw.
Now there's a path before me.
I need only to prepare for the trip.
With a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes I need to accept that this is good bye.
Friendship is forever in some ways, but lies taint it and sometimes there's nothing to save.
All this time, I've been alone.
I don't understand what makes it so hard to make it final.
Me being me and you being you is what I thought made us, us...
But I guess to much of anything is way to much.
And our special friendship was fun when I thought it was real.
I feel hate in my heart, but the sadness consumes it.
And my heart stings.
It's the only way that I know this is real.
I dare not be bitter.
I dare not be conquered.
But nauseous and shatterd is what I can't deny.
So I'll talk to myself not knowing if it will do any good.
Myself is all I have at the end so I might as well get used to it.
I wonder what kind of friend I'll make myself...
Will I be honest like the real me or will I try to convince myself that this is nothing?
I can already see that I'm the greatest friend a person can have, always honest, always there...
But this great friend thing...
I don't think it applies to me.
Not enjoying life right now.
ktarrpropaganda Jun 2016
You smirk as I tell you (I hold up my thumb and index fingers micrometers from one another to provide a visual reference ) that you make me feel "this" big.
I shrink further.

I. Being such a
small.
weak.
petty.
insignificant.
pathetic excuse for a man
struggle beneath the weight of your constant requests... -no-

demands:
"I'm hungry."
"I need a cigarette."
"Get your hands off me."
"I'm bored... let's do something."

I ******* adore you. I worship you. You are an ocean and I am merely a single grain of sand. I pray to God that he make me the ME that would YOU would appreciate most. I say

"Anything for you baby."

This one-sided tail-chasing brain **** of a relationship is so twisted that even when I satisfy your demands, I keep shrinking... evident I prove weakness- not worth.

"Can I have another cigarette?"
This is the last thing you say to me before i drive away.  
"I love you",  I silently narrate as I hand you a smoke.

No.
You know what?
*******.

I hope this is the cigarette that causes cancer.
I hope you drop this cigarette while you're driving and swerve into the oncoming lane; searching for it as it burns your ******* gorgeous, flawless legs.
I hope you fall asleep with it lit and I hope it burns you up; leaving your chair and clothes intact (a curious occurrence called the "wicking" effect). I will spread whispered rumors that it was spontaneous combustion... so that others too might see you as this rare and unique and sorrowfully amazing phenomena that I know you to be.

As I drive off, I continue shrinking until
I.
This:
Small.
Petty.
Weak.
Insignificant.
Pathetic excuse for a man is just a single grain of sand on some shore of a beautiful ocean who could give a **** less.
Lost May 2016
I will never be perfect.
I will never be enough.
I just won't be,
to anyone.*
*My hair is too thin.
My thighs are too jiggly.
My **** isn't perky.
My face isn't symmetrical.
My body is unproportionate.
My stomach is chubby.
My ***** are awkward.
My voice is too annoying.
My smile is stupid.
My scars are too unattractive.
My problems aren't as bad as other people.
My depression is a nuisance.
My anxiety attacks are overly dramatic.
My PTSD is pathetic.
My personality is too complicated.
My laugh is obnoxious.
My attention span is irritating.
My needs are too much.
My heart is too damaged.
My foundation is cracked.
My dependance is exhausting.
My fears are childish.
My past is haunting.
My future isn't bright.
My soul is undeserving.
My insecurity is too strong.
I will never be perfect.
I will never be enough.
I just won't be,
to anyone.
Repost that became relevant again.
Nick Moser May 2016
"You can't fix all your sad and pathetic problems by writing another ****** poem."

Well, I can try.
So yes, this is another ****** poem.
Just Me May 2016
I'm not well...

I know this.

I took these meds because I want to be better for them.

But I'm so ******* up that my pain lingers and clings on to thier lives.

I'm broken and I know its my past that pushed me into this life.

I took these meds daily in attempt to be less miserable for them.

Because my illness is not contagious, but taintable.

I want everyone to be free from what I feel.

I care so much about how they feel.

But these meds make me fat, and the bipolar in me can't a hundred percent be held back...

I inconvenience everyone with my sorrow and rage when I peek into thier world.

It makes me feel guilty and worthless.

I want to be what they want, to smile and laugh everyday.

Or just loose my mind and not care about anything.

Being social and anyone but me is what I'm supposed to be, but Im cursed with my life in my bedroom and failing my family.

I don't write to get anyone to understand.

I think I write this because, it's all that I am.

I'm sorry for the people who read these words and can relate...

Because your either stuck like me or have actually found your way.

I'm still gone as I breath and sit, and I hate myself beacause of the space I waste.

Just today I flushed my meds away.

Nobody should care, because I've never gotten better.

I've never been well enough for them.

Maybe I'll shed some pounds, but who cares because I'll be in my bed.

Maybe the difference in me med free will help someone see.

Even if it's just me.
Sometimes I wish that I was brave enough to free everyone from me. In this world people don't want to feel alone. But feeling these tears run down my cheek.... I don't wish this on anyone. I'm so pathetic. This write is so fresh I'm sure it full of emotional errors...but it's real
Lost May 2016
I wish he'd write a poem about me.
There's a millions of people who might,
but he's the only one I want to.
Why?
I don't know..
Maybe I like him,
maybe I'm just pathetic.
Maybe I'm just lonely.
Maybe he's the only guy who's been kind to me.
Maybe I just get too jealous.
I think I'm special,
but I'm really not.
Whoever he's in love with,
I hope she's better for him than I'd ever be.
I'm just too jealous of a person.
I just want someone to love me.




*I'm so pathetic
I'm sorry..
Lost Apr 2016
I will never be perfect.
I will never be enough.
I just won't be,
to anyone.
My hair is too thin.
My thighs are too jiggly.
My **** isn't perky.
My face isn't symmetrical.
My body is unproportionate.
My stomach is chubby.
My ***** are awkward.
My voice is too annoying.
My smile is stupid.
My scars are too unattractive.
My problems aren't as bad as other people.
My depression is a nuisance.
My anxiety attacks are overly dramatic.
My PTSD is pathetic.
My personality is too complicated.
My laugh is obnoxious.
My attention span is irritating.
My needs are too much.
My heart is too damaged.
My foundation is cracked.
My dependance is exhausting.
My fears are childish.
My past is haunting.
My future isn't bright.
My soul is undeserving.
My insecurity is too strong.
I will never be perfect.
I will never be enough.
I just won't be,
to anyone.
I'm sorry I'm not good enough.
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