The poem below is a satirical piece
Written by a poet with too much time on his hands
Coviditis is something created purely as an entertainment piece
Caution is advised to those that do not have a sense of humor
Coviditis is a condition brought on during a pandemic due to prolonged use of mask wearing, social distancing, constant hand washing or sanitizing, testing, self or other, as well as self-isolating, shutdowns, travel restrictions, vaccine shortages, vaccine line ups, vaccine hesitancy and antivaccers.
For those with children locked out from attending school and suddenly becoming teachers at large there maybe additional conditions of the ailment
Symptoms that you may have Coviditis include but are not limited to:
Feeling pent up and wanting to visit family and friends
High stress levels, we recommend home blood pressure kits for self-testing
The urge to put a strangle hold on children or small animals
Temper tantrums like when you were a two year old
Wanting to work from home to become a hermit and take up hoarding as a hobby
Binge watching reruns of “I Love Lucy”
For those on the edge this could lead to episodes of “Divorce Court”
Exceeding speed limits including road rage and road racing in parking lots
The need to station yourself near hospitals with your protest poster at the ready
Clock watching while waiting anxiously for the pandemic to be over
Treatments
Generally speaking a return to normal is the best cure for Coviditis
When this is not available we suggest getting normal amounts of rest
Reduce alcohol and leisure drug use (unless prescribed by a health care professional)
Counting to 100 when the urge comes to place choke holds on others
Reduce speeds especially in school zones, truckers should avoid borders or capitals
Take up yoga, Tai Chi or complete regular exercise to offset stuffing feelings with food
Constant hugging of spouses, children, parents, through fist pumps is recommended
Hugging complete strangers in desperation is a no, no
If conditions become worse we recommend zooming
your family physician, Psychologist, Psychiatrist or
Podiatrist, as you may need a good pair of shoes when you want to run away
Also have a travel agent on speed dial, booking two years in advance for you next trip may make you feel better and lead to something called “hope”
In extreme situations visit the emergency department at the hospital
Please note do not feed the pigeons or the protestors on your way in
Andreas Simic©
