Yes,
I am angry.
I have every right to be angry.
I'm so sick of getting trampled.
I'm so sick of caring for people,
only to get hurt and have it blamed on me.
They say it's my fault,
because I choose to give people chances.
Because I refuse to just view the bad...
I'M SO SICK OF THIS!
MY HEART SHOULD'NT HAVE TO HURT
JUST BECAUSE SOMEBODY DECIDED
I WASNT WORTH IT.
I WASNT WORTH THE TRUTH!
I WASNT WORTH THE TIME!
THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!!
I'm so SICK and TIRED of hearing sorry,
and then the blame being directed back at ME.
I CARED.
I LOVED.
I BELIEVED.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WHAT I DID.
THEY LIED.
THEY CHEATED.
THEY BROKE A HEART THAT NEVER CAUSED HARM.
...

*Don't you dare blame me...

Losing your sense...
Of         purpose
  Is ..       .
Painfully painless

Why is ..     .... . that
so?
A contradictory  statement.
Because...
To lose someone or something
   dear to you                                  
is painful
And
to lose hope or devotion to something or someone
Is
Also
Painful
And yet...                                 .     .             ...
And yet
With the meldin..g
Of these two heart pieces
Pain becomes painless,
And even so,
Painlessness is a state
That a purposeless person
Never achieves.

To me flirting is the same as cheating..
Because honestly it hurts just as much
Maybe even worse because I dont want to seem like im telling you who you can be friends with.. I dont want to seem clingy and controlling but my heart hurts so much because its being filled with so much doubt that I think I might just run away.
I wont survive this again.
I have nightmares about **** like this.
Maybe im just paranoid
Maybe im right
Especially since I know she likes you
It makes me feel like my insides are covered in acid.
But i wont speak of it because thats just not me. I rather sit in despair than bother you with my overthinking...

~

In the warmth of the danger threshold,
flaming lover’s ink only gets magnified...
I really tried to behave myself but it's so painful!
Every inch of me yearns for you ardently,
naked from unthinkable fears soon or later we will be...
so stop doing that silly camouflage thing,
it swirls down my skin’s sanity!

~

© Christina Philipe

Paid my dime
Went for the ride
But the joke was on me
The game stuck on repeat
The same refrain
over and over
in my brain
i.....love.....you
So apprehensive
and with lack of
commitment
like you knew
it would be accompanied by
A heavy burden
but couldn't stop
yourself