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Long fingers trail my spine
Sensation light
On my pale skin
His lips pressed against mine
Moist and minty sweet
Clustered thoughts drifting afar
To safety
Sensual touch on my body
Begins to set me free

Calmly floating
To a peaceful place
Where love surrounds
Circling like feathers
Gone abound

Gazing deeply into my eyes
He sees me
Inside me
Within my tattered body

He caresses my cheek
With a gentleness
That awakens me
Colors I've never known appear
Encompassing our souls
Hues so bright
Our guiding light

Kindness swirls my heart  
As passion is brought to head
His soul comes into mine
Our beings intertwine

Our bodies dance
As our pain
Becomes progress
Wounds begin to heal
Each scar creates a map
Leading us
Closer to the heavens

Coming together
We have learned
The truest form of
LOVE
The first time he saw me
He saw a kaleidoscope of colors
A rainbow of light
He says I am divinity
His angel
Sent from above
For him and him only
He says how he needs me
Oh, he needs me
I hear him when he tells me
I am his saving grace
I will be his salvation
making him stronger
I am all he desires
He says my vibrance will help him grow
He will live for me
For eternity
He loves me
keeps me
holds me so tight
He uses me
He abuses me
My pain brings him colors and light
He says I shine brighter
with every tear I shed
He wants a whole rainbow
He wants a picture book
A movie in color
He wants to paint the world with my hues
He holds me tighter
He pulls my hair
The more pain I feel
The more brightness he sees
The more strength he receives
The colors become droplets
Puddles
Then rivers
And lakes
He loves me so deeply
He knows I'm his to take
His hands move seductively up my body
Trying to find new shades to add to his palette


Red
His hands clench my throat

Orange
Rougher

Yellow
And tighter

Green
He squeezes so hard

Blue
Crushes completely

Purple
I crumble to the floor

Once he sees that I have broken
He gets on his knees
He slurps the puddles of sorrow from the floor
Little pips
and tiny pops
He follows
Drinking in the rainbow stream
A splat and a plop
a bit of a boggle
He sputters out sparkle
shimmer
And glitter
He begins to bulge
belly squiggling
As his throat widens
He parts his lips

What comes out is a
Hiss.
I wish I could dream where I roam,
place back all un-threaded seams
Born again with a nicer clone
and outlive all my nightmares
all of I planted these seeds,

I don't wish to be a monster,
tormented by lovely dreams
of how I am so missing her,
and this void has the abyss tear.

My eyes are yellowing and my chest,
feels a pain as my liver pain pierces
Every dream was of my perfect job,
Now I lay in bed for days and don't sob.

What is the use of crying?
Rare is ever happiness.
I can't forgive you
I can't forget you
So I will wait
Until you crawl back
I will yell at you, be furious
Shout, cry, be stubborn
Until it's all out
I want it all out
Take it all
So I can take you back
I built a wall, unyielding, high,  
A fortress strong against the sky.  
My heart, now hardened, won’t reveal,  
The fragile cracks I choose to seal.  

A sturdy front, I hold my ground,  
Yet shadows linger all around.  
My thoughts grow dark, their weight persists,  
In emptiness, my soul exists.  

A blank facade is what they see,  
But pain inside, it rages free.  
The brighter light, the darker shade,  
In endless night, I am betrayed.  

Through days and months and years untold,  
I dwell in darkness, bitter, cold.  
Solitude, my solemn space,  
Where none can harm, where fears erase.  

Yet deep inside, I long to find,  
A spark of hope to soothe my mind.  
Until that day, I stand, conceal,  
The wounds within I cannot heal.

- Ghostcat
Hope 5d
I didn't think I
could cry anymore tears
I didn't think my heart
could break anymore.
But tonight everything changed.

I found 3 ****** in bed
and no room for me to sleep.
When someone,
who's suppose to love you

picks ****** over you.

How are you suppose to react.
My partner ghosted me,
then with in a month
broke up with me.

He always made it feel
as if there was
a chance
but
something inside me
told me
there was more
happening
then I was lead to know.

The same thing a man hates,
mostly likely he is doing.

I was gaslighted
to believe there
wasn't a ***** in my bed
while he did his best
to make me not leave.

Telling me if I went
with someone else
it would hurt him.

But there he was
3 ****** 1 bed.

Leaving me
no where
to rest my tired body.

I'm told this is my fault
I should of moved on
months ago
but
in the same breathe
if you were to fall in love
with someone else
it would hurt me.

My gut told me
there was a wolf
in sheep's clothes
but like any naive
girl I believed the wolf.

Now my husband is inlove with a *****

and here I am, left ***** less.
Hope 5d
On nights
like this one,
and many others.
I feel the flower
that sleeps
between my ribs.
Start to weep.
Her sobs are so heavy
that I find myself
fighting back
tears
of
my
own.

So I take her
outside.
Light up cigar
and begin to
drown
her
in
smoke.

I tell her
to be silent.
That she'll ruin
the good things
about to happen
in my life.
If her voice
gets up to my gray
matter brain.
It will get me
thinking
and saying
things,
I should have
let go of
by now.
"We'll lose him"
I tell her
"Is that what you want?"

The flower slowly
let's crystal
tears fall
one after
the other.

So I take
orange pills,
to make her stop.
That way
my kids
the clients
I see Monday
thru Friday
or even my
closest.
Won't know
of how
on some nights

I
cry
with her
as well.

No one will
know about the
late night drinks
we share.
From time
to time.
The terrible memories
that barrage us
as the world sleeps.

No one will
know of how
faces of women
we've never
met
before
haunt us.
Take away
our happiest.

This cigar tonight
is for you
darling,
because
I know I won't
sob tonight.
But
under
these
shattered
stars
you
will.
I know how to carry pain
not like a burden,
but like a second skin.
I've walked through fire in silence,
kissed betrayal on the cheek
and called it by name.

I know bad words.
Not just the ones they speak,
but the ones they plant
in the soil of a soft heart
and leave to grow wild.

I've tasted different traits
bitterness sweetened by charm,
gentleness sharpened to a blade.
I've danced with shadows in daylight
and called it love.

But this one...
this is new.

This ache that lives in my ribs,
this grief that kicks from inside,
this quiet war I fight
while smiling, while feeding,
while staying alive.

Excuse me,
but I’ve never been pregnant
with someone else's cruelty before.
Excuse me
if I need space
to untangle this web
before I decide which thread to cut.

I will lie here,
wrapped in blankets and restraint,
saying “I’m fine”
while every door in this house
begs to be torn from its hinges.

I want to set this silence on fire.
I want to burn this version of me
and walk barefoot through the ash
until I meet the woman
waiting on the other side
the one who chose herself.

I’ve known pain.
But this one is new.
And still
I will survive.
Because I have to.
Because I always do.
You crossed a line this time. That was foul.
emitting a light
that is blinding

the faces of people
displayed and
multiple texts
swirled like a
fruit salad

the light it shines
is an act of artificial
prayer
a saccharine
heaven or
a bitter
hell
Ghost 6d
This is a story of a boy and girl.
I can still recall those days as if they are archives themselves or a movie playing over and over again. I still see you standing there the light from the sun bouncing off you and gives you a heavenly glow more beautiful than the stars. I’m sorry I couldn’t prove to be worthy of your love and I hope if you do have anyone I just wish you happiness. If your hand isn’t taken and the fates align. I swear on my oath as the man I am now I won’t let you down again. But alas this is real life and all I’m left with here in the darkness is the curse and blessing of love and memory
Just a man who regrets what he’s done. But her and I were just kids then
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