What a bland world
in which i now exist
no longer does he want me
no longer is there need

Oh but what a free world
in which i now exist
no longer do i wonder
much stronger, i persist

In the darkness of midnight, the moon turns away its face
I settle down behind my desk and write down my fate

I’ll form my sorrow in the shapes of lyrics and lines
Ones that won’t make sense in the bright morning light

The pen that bleeds ink made from my hatred and guilt
Words like stones that bring down the walls I have built

I’m the midnight poet, my safety the silence before dawn
So, at first light, all these thoughts will be gone.

When it comes to you,
I don’t know how to feel—
‘cause you’re my father,
and I love you,
but ****, you put me through hell.

I know they say
you’re supposed to heal
my first heartbreak,
but ****, you broke my heart yourself.

You hurt me,
then he hurt me,
so I had to fix me by myself.

I know you try—
and you’re trying really hard—
but that won’t fix
all the lonely nights,
crying in the dark,
all the unspoken words
from arguments that went too far.

Sometimes all I can think about
is those nights in the dark
and how you were my dad,
but yet you still broke my heart.

And for that, I thank you
for showing me all the things
as a parent that I never want to do.

And as I write this,
my heart bleeds for you
‘cause I don’t know
what path I wanna take with you.

And there’s no ending,
because our story really isn’t through—
but I hope that if you hear this,
you know, I love you.

Have you ever lived in someone's shadow?
Cause I have .
And it's really breaks you quietly,
because no one cares to ask how you're really feeling .

It feels like walking into a room full of people ,
Where every gaze lands on her,
Every smile belongs to her,
While you stand there -unnoticed.

I stand there ,faking a smile ,
Pretending like it doesn't bite.
But deep down ,am wishing for an apocalypse .

But I bet you don't get it .
you were always the gem.
But if you ever wished someone would finally say ,
"Hey ,you are stunning ,"
Then you will know exactly how it  feels .

I was always
the type of girl
who never gave a ****.

Would fall in love so fast
but yeah,
I would always give it up.

And you?
You were the type
to see that love in my eyes.

Came in disguised
as someone
who was supposed to be mine.

I really loved that about you.
But you switched up like the weather.

You went from hot to cold,
from “I love you”
to “whatever.”

And it didn’t take long
for that cycle to spin.

Tears on my behalf,
while you sat there with a grin.

I think you knew what you were doing.
This ain’t your first time.

First time you saw
a girl with true love in her eyes.

But one thing about me?
I get bored very easy.

Bored of the back-and-forth,
the stomach turns,
the feeling-queasy kind of love
that never sits easy.

You knew what you were doing.
Let’s be honest.

It wasn’t even my fight,
was it?

You just saw another girl
with true love in her eyes

Another girl
for your love to disguise.

When you do it, it’s cool.
Okay.
But when she does, it’s “whack”?

Now it’s every other day,
you arguing,
putting **** on your dad.

The love bombs.
The switching up.
The back-and-forth.
The feeling queasy.

You made it feel
like you could push
all your problems
on me.

Like the minute I showed love,
your life was supposed to get easy.

But I’m not doing that.
Not anymore.

You dumped
every insecurity on me—
and watched me drown
in wounds that weren’t even mine.

You pushed all your insecurities out to me
and now,
I’m finally stepping back

And that’s when
you finally started acting right.

But that didn’t last,
now did it?

I’d be lying if I said
I left the first time
or the second
or even the third.

Because you?
You always had the right words
the ones that pulled me back
into being her.

That girl.
The one with true love in her eyes.
Those eyes
you once tried so hard
to hide from your disguise.

But this time…
was the last time
she let you dim that love
in her eyes.

The one who stood up here before
Who couldn't take it any more
Went through with her plan.

What would be my legacy?
Just like me,
I could turn the statistic
Into a curvy figure too—
Not a straight and slender one.
But being realistic,

I find the strength to turn away
And face the world another day
—A continuing man.