Hey , hi , fine .. that's all I ever hear lately .
It's okay ,it's alright you are fine .
It's okay, It's alright , I know .
I don't need the long lines ,
I don't need your epistles , I don't need your lies.  
The more you lie the more I see through them,  the more you hurt me  .
It's okay ,it's alright to hurt me , it's alright to turn away .. I'll turn you back .
It's alright to end the call , I'll call you back .
It's alright to stop talking to me I'll never stop,  am I cool with it? No , does it hurt me ? Yes , will I stop? No ,because it's alright to hurt me , hurt me but never you.  
Hurt me but never yourself,  will I stop ? No why ? Because I'm stubborn like that .
Maybe I like pain , as long as its from you though.  
Hurt me , but never hurt you please , that's all I ask of you .

I want to draw
what is in my heart
cathartic pictures
screaming the pain I feel
but I have neither the talent
nor the ink to express
all the skulls I see
dancing in the subset

i hate myself
for becoming the person
who cries over nothing.
except it’s never nothing —
it’s the bruise
still sore
from loving him.

i’m not myself anymore,
just a sour taste
that won’t leave
my own mouth.

i skipped therapy this week,
ashamed to arrive
empty-handed,
with nothing worth
laying down.

i slipped
back into the rabbit hole,
where the air is thin
and every echo is mine.

i wish i could say
i’ll work this out.
i just need to heal —
a bit longer.
then maybe
i’ll fly.

After the blood stops running
And the relief is over
An almost impossible to describe feeling takes control.
Its anger, regret
Its sadness and pain
Its how could I do such a horrible thing?
Its panicky hiding
Heart rate increasing
Oh my God how do I hide this?
But then after a bit
when bad feelings set in,
The cycle continues again.