But I lived,
awoke on a floor and just cried,
cause it didnt work.
I had to go back
to my mind, and grind,
everyday the rest of my life.
A routine of pain,
to feel normal inside.
Ghosts of me
haunt my memories.
Always my own worst enemy.
And I dont want lies
of sympathy.
Just let me feel some
sanity.
Just want to be loved
honestly.

I am silenced by sadness and held captive by the fear that everything will go wrong.....
I wasn't always like this but circumstances demanded I experience pain
But they gave me an overdose and now my mind is comatose
Void of all feeling I crawl through this life of mine on hands and knees
My broken skin letting the blood flow, weakening me even more
And I find I'm addicted.
Addicted to the encompassing emptiness ever present in me because of this.
If I am empty then I am nothing
If I am nothing
Then nothing can go wrong and then what will I have to fear

I never knew black could look so dark
A tar like sludge rushing down my throat
They told me I had to
That it wasn’t a choice

Cherry flavored charcoal has ruined my mind
It was a darker black than anything I’d ever seen
It was either that or death
One dark black for another

As I downed two bottles of what no one should ever ingest
I cried and cried at the mess
Dark black in my mouth, on my face and in my mind
In a way it saved be but is another way altered my mind

A peaceful, calm, and quiet place
A respite from, this crazy haze
Silent whispers - from afar
Shes too drifted to hear them call
Out to her, from reality
Her comatose tranquility
Surrounds her mind,
In foggy clouds
Protects her from her memories
She doesn't need to understand
Nor realize what is happening
As she slowly drifts, off to sleep
Never to come back
To me.

Another late night
Swallow a pill
Welcome bitter to the back of your throat.
Wait there and sit tight
Forget you're ill.

Take another
Then another
Then wonder
when you'll overdose.

It's nights like these you'll remember most.


Hide under your hood
Live between nights
Unsure whether you will meet the morning.
Unsure if you should
Would it be right?