No longer set back by the uncomfortable masses of fat resting on my chest
I’m free to live and breathe DEEPLY
Each day I uncover more of the truth to who I am
I spent many years yearning for this feeling of relief
Here it is
I’m ready

Dear Testosterone,
You made me sweaty, ***** and sometimes angry too
But I would be lying if I could say I know what I’d do without you
You changed my life from the outside in
Showed me that living as my true self is not living in sin
Each month I’m amazed by how much change I see
In my face, my voice, my hair and all of me

Today I can look in the mirror and see myself
752 days and one major surgery later but wow I see myself

For awhile life was painted gray
There were colors of love sitting dormant inside

Love that shines brightest is seen as a threat
Life couldn’t take something that was so true and bright
  
This cruel world cannot dim the colors of our souls
Let’s paint this dark world with color once again

At this point days, weeks and months have passed

I know longer ask myself how I feel
There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m in love with you

I love you
With my whole heart and with my whole being

I’m not scared or worried
I’m not gonna hold back

My love for you is real, vulnerable and infinite

my skin is howling  
my tears descend
the pain is somehow still caged

my throat swells
my jaw tightens
the hurt must stay within

its more painful than anything I’ve ever felt
like a pack of wolves tearing my heart out
the pain is eating me

eating more than I ate for the years my dysphoria got me to starve myself

i can’t hide anymore
tear me open if you must
but tear me open in the right places