11/24/2013*

I am not
a girl

and I am not
a boy

I am a
storm,
a hurricane,
a tornado,
an earthquake

and
under my skin,
there is a
universe

with millions of
stars,
and planets,
and emotions,
and chemicals,
and scars

I am not
a girl

and I am not
a boy

there is a
windstorm
in my heart,
and in my head,
and in my bones,
and in my blood

and there are
galaxies
throughout my cells,
and throughout my skin

I am not
a girl

and I am not
a boy

I am far more
than that

© 2013 Scarlet Van Allen

Since Love is a word that is clearly defined,
I was sure it would be much less than easy to find.
But please decipher it’s meaning be my Rosetta Stone
How to manifest in person to keep me from alone
The one I’ve wanted and needed to fill my vacuous soul,
One whose substance would fill my red but black hole
My collective attention would never escape her.
How can a concept so complex be drawn out on paper?
We’d be perfect and free we’d be perfect as “we”
But love is too broad for such specificity.
I’ve hoisted my thoughts until they were too high to still see
Wondering how love could even be in the dictionary.
Alas I’ll search ‘till transformed, my hairs all turn grey.
The only place I’ll ever find love is in the section after “K”.

the skeletons in my closet
stopped rattling their cracked bones
because now they know they're vanquished.
and I'm not lonely, just alone.

the demons that used to haunt
my once tired, hurting heart
fear my renewed confidence
and from my soul they begin to part.