I compare my loneliness to the sound of a mourning dove.
It starts low and small, then goes up
It repeats the more each call goes unanswered

Perhaps letting it out, alone and loud
over and over
eases the pain, yet also pokes at the caged creature within
encouraging a festering of wounds.

A mourning dove never seems to be where the other birds are
Because when it calls it becomes all I can hear
It guides me far into the fog, ever elusive
until I finally spot it
high above on a line.

Every time it gets a little easier.
Every time it starts to sound less
like a Gymnopédie No. 1
and more like a Claire de Lune
major key as well as minor
content as well as sorrowful.

It's alone, and it's still singing.

gotta be god or play god
i wanna have control
something something perfect body
something something perfect soul schrodinger's stranger
behind my door
he's here until i prove that
he never was at all
there's leeches in my skin
i can ******* feel it
gotta check myself again
just to believe it
perfection is holy
and symmetry is perfect
never, ever stop
even though it isn't worth it

You know you are unworthy & undeserving,
Beneath me, love;
And yet, with shame,
You feel the same as you have always
That heart - of mine.
It is kindred, and full of lust.
Hopelessly infatuated,
Though you know we were all wrong.
You can't help it,
And you assure me it isn't obsession
For you have known that,
This is not it.

Just painfully unrequited,
For all your faults.

To your skin,
I write a thousand sonnets;
She recalls the rain.

To your smell,
I sigh a hundred ancient songs;
She sticks to me like toffee.

And oh,
To your eyes ...
To drown in silt stardust,
To smother in her hues.

To your hands,
I bow in thorns and roses;
She's grasped flesh and bone.

To your lips,
I grow ten dozen lilacs;
She carries the taste of your breath.

And oh,
To your voice ...
To asphyxiate in words,
To choke in her cadence.

And just as your veins will be empty of blood seven decades from now,
The tender love is fleeting.

But the rain still falls,
And the bones remain.

Heaven and hell twirl entwined like sea-moss
Embalmed into an eternal possession,
Hearts mark themselves deeply then bare to rot;
You can undo love but never obsession.

I look at you
A ghost without boundaries
My hands reaching out
To grasp your heart
Nothing there to stop me

I look at you
Ephemeral
And ethereal
I wonder when you’ll see
The way I view you
An abstract concept
Far away
Never to be found
Never to be touched
Yet an object of limerence
An object of love
That is not to be realized

Saudade
Object of obsession
You are nothing more than that
You are much more than that

A ghost without boundaries
Dead yet alive in my mind
Fitting in the puzzle pieces
As I fit the parts of my heart
Last time it fell for you

I want to touch the back of your throat
to feel you at your weakest
when I am needing you most.
I want to be in your brain and in your body
like I am the parasite
and you are my host.
Invite me in
the door is shut and
my patience has gone thin.
Everything has it's purpose
down to original sin
you don't have to look so nervous
I only want to be friends.

Be mine, be with me forever
this obsession that grows
you will not successfully sever
until I am done with you,
the feast and the pleasure,
and I've taken all that I need.
So hungry, I'm all alone
I just want to feed
you are the forbidden fruit
sometimes,
loving feels just like greed.

Her smile
Your smell
Her nerves
Your kiss
On her neck
It was all she ever needed
Untill it was the one thing that broke her

my love for you will be the death of me

it fills me up, fills up every millimeter of empty space in my body
it moves my organs around to make room
it engulfs me, and swallows me whole
every moment i'm awake feels like i'm drowning in it

it travels up my body, up to my throat
every moment i'm awake feels like i'm suffocating on it
at night i wake up thrashing, grasping at my throat, begging to be allowed room for air

it travels up my body, up to my head
every moment i'm awake feels like i spend it thinking about you
you take control of my thoughts, my feelings
you're like a parasite i can't get rid of

my love for you will be the death of me.

One more taste,
Love.

One sigh
And I knew you were a waste.

Tough.

I crave your scent,
But you repent us.

Shame.

I am the match to your flame,
Your icing on the cake.

Mistake.

You have no choice,
Silly of you to think twice.

Nice.

Now you lie,
Wet in your tears.
Trying to hide away from your fears.

As your fear,
Is you and I.

Fine.

I guess i'll keep you with me,
For life.