I wrote this poem for you
Knowing you'll never read it
I tried to rhyme my pain away
Knowing you'll never heal it

I start my day with you on my mind
Knowing you'll never be mine
I end my day trying to dream of you
Knowing it's the closest I can get
to feeling your warmth

I hurt myself now and again
Believing I will one day matter
Only to be dismissed too easily
Too small, too uninteresting
Not your type

Maybe tomorrow I'll realise how to stop measuring my worth
Based on how much time
and effort
and attention
you give me.
Maybe tomorrow you'll stop
being the subject of all this poetry.

I'm not a person who collects things
I live a very minimalist's life
But I have a bag of treasures
I keep close to me day and night

I sleep on an old painted daybed
It squeaks softly as I lay down
Most of my clothes are second hand
And my shoes a little worn down

But I have some precious treasures
Hidden in bags of different names
Fendi, Burberry and Prada
Leathers and fabrics of worldly fame

My treasures are hidden deep inside
In makeup bags and zippered pockets
Shiny compacts full of velvety colors
From Paris, Milan and Rome

A black cloth bag of 8 tiny bottles
Protected from the sun and rain
Bottles of perfume oils made in an alchemist's lab
With names like Dragon's Milk, Snow White and Bliss

A Christian Dior handkerchief or two
Hangs delicately inside the bag
In case the breeze brings on a sneeze
Or I notice a tear in the eye of a friend

by Mark Lj

Here I lay my head
once clean and white
was living now dead  
no restoring it to life

As is above... is below
Do what thou wilt
if that be your will
then make it so

Now dark was once light
once sterile and white
like the living dead
you trying to bring back life

The eagle soars over head
The prey is dripping red
The mouse in its mouth
is bleeding out!!!!!!!!
A nation that's surly dead
cant get your daily bread
wont help any how
but tear it down!!!!!

For love to grow
we must know some pain
Our destination unknown
and the pigs we've slain

Blood stains the ice
Snow that's crimson red
Its nature, its the prize
that well soon be dead

Blood splatters the ice
and the fire burns low
Hed my advice
you cant..let go

can you deal with the stares. the words unheard, the subtle none verbal nuances. Listen to the noise in what they call silence. hear what this world has to say. can you read between the lines or are you looking hard for something that isn't really there. searching so hard you make it appear. the air whispers in your ear, the river tells a story seldom heard. listen to the unspoken word

That year was so cold
As cold as that winter that wouldn't end
All I remember about that year
Was how little I fit in anywhere
How I connected with no one
How I sat alone at school
While in a room with 40 others

I lost count of how many hours I spent
Alone in my parents cold garage
Sitting in my car that needed a new motor
Watching the snow fall from the window
And the breath rise from my mouth

All the times I sat staring at a handful of pills
Too broken to go on, but too scared to sign out
Caught in endless torment, with no future in sight
Half of me not caring anymore
Half wanting so bad to hold on

I never imagined I'd survive that year
Or the next, then 5, and 10
Or have the life that I have today
But I am evidence that all of it's true

And giving up too early in life
Is like throwing your cards down too soon
You just might be holding a king or a queen
But it might take you more time to know

by Lj Mark

Drawstring linen pants,
Unisex from a women's catalogue.
Dark green shirt, tomboy approved.
Enough makeup to hide my faults.
Pink heart earrings, and a silver cross in the 3rd hole.
A silver cross, trans emblem and a silver heart engraved Laura, my true identity, together on a black bead chain.
Silver Lesbian insignia ring with my wedding band on top.
A black 1st finger ring etched with the Lord's prayer.
2 bracelets, one orange one turquoise to match a turquoise hat and dark glasses.
A couple of mists of Acqua di Gioia.
Women's turquoise/orange runners,
And a Victoria's secret backpack.

I didn't really think about the details until evening,
All I knew is I felt comfortable today.
I even went to Kohl's department store alone and browsed, and felt a confidence I'd rarely felt in the past.

Is this how some people feel every day I wonder?
I was so grateful for just today, just one day.
Today I was me

by Lj Mark 2015

At first you feel you're really free
Showing off the real you for all to see
Step back world because here you come
Head held high, let's have some fun.

Then slowly those friends who wished you well
Didn't notice or see you when you fell
You search for others but no such luck
You start feeling alone and things begin to ****

It gets harder to go out and face the world
Your life slows down from that initial swirl
All those places you longed to roam
Are lost in the reality that it's easier to stay home

Your world gets smaller each time you stay home
Smaller............
........smaller.....
.............smalle­r
Until it and you are all but gone