You unforcefully cram
your particles
into every time
of loveliness,
seldom rocked
by
the
tick
tock;
minutes are just moments
that bring
all
your
joy.

Much harder than your own pain to bear
Is the pain of one for whom you care,
Their pain for yourself you would welcome
If it would ease their suffering some.

I have seen them,
lost among the rows of Marble and Granite
quietly whispering conversations
left too late in life

tears flooding from ducts
that spontaneously leak with sorrow
emotion they have no control of
bursting from deep within

they lay flowers
and sometimes trinkets, imagining
somewhere
the person they are talking to
is watching over them

last weekend it was my turn
for the first time, laying my offering of roses
though I didn't know what to say
except,
"Happy birthday Mum"

Don't you realize
How much you're hurting me
Every word you don't hear
Is destructively burning me

You're supposed to make me feel safe
Yet you're breaking my heart
You're supposed to make me feel like I have a place
Yet you're tearing me apart

Stop locking me out
Of everything I need
Stop shutting me out
Of the life I want to lead

You're hurting me more than anyone else
When you should be my shoulder to cry on
You can't expect me to trust you
If you don't trust me

I won't respect you
If you don't respect me
I can't love you
If you won't love me

Because you should be here
Yet you're slamming this barred door in my face
I can see everything I want through those bares
Right in front of me, things I can't even taste

Because you're keeping them from me
You're killing me
And I told you so many times
It looks like you'll never listen to me

Why are we this way
Why all the doors
Why all the locks
Where are the keys ?

Why are you locking me out ?
Why are you locking me away

I stand here in front of you
Every cell in my body
Is screaming in agony
Yet my smile holds strong

Why can't we talk
Why don't you trust me
Why do you hurt me
Why don't you listen
Why do you always think you're right
Why can't you consider my opinion

You make me feel like I don't count
Why ?
Why mum ?

She gave the last push,
I slid out swoosh,
I didn't want to come,
To this world,cumbersome.
I refused to cry,
The doc would not let me die,
I gave out a wail,
He beamed,"See, I never fail.
The nurse gave me to mum,
Tired, dishevelled,utterly happy
she stretched out her arms,"Come, come,
My handsome chum."
Yes,lady, life is going to be fun,
You and me, your little one,
Where's my old man that brought me here,
There he was near mummy dear,
Oh my Lord! You have sent me to softies,
Not like the last,pretending to be believers in deities,
Forced me to live in fear and abuse,
These ones of cruelty I cannot accuse.
Lord! This time you have changed the stage,
A couple, of middle age,
Pining  for a child,
I smiled,
Held mum's thumb,
Tried to ****,dumb,
Gave the old man a grin,
Such happiness I had never seen,
I promised to be terrible two from now,
The Lord guffawed.
6/6/2019