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Gary Nov 2016
Dear life,
Let these closings of long battles
And roads of new exploration be my new path for a new serene normalcy.
May these paths lead to answers,
Answers of who I am.
It's been so long since I've been the real me it hurts to a pain staking degree.
Trying to remember what once was me.
Nothings normal, all I once knew is now forgotten and gone.
You cannot expect to accomplish a new road in life, without having the knowledge of how to overcome its new and demanding challenges.  Simply its obstacles are to great to exceed without knowledge. And even scarier to face. Not knowing the unknowing being thrown to survive in the Lions den.
As a writer I write,  my thoughts, feelings and dreams.
I feel like a caged animal
At a zoo, behind glass
Looking at my once life
Now held captive
From this disease.
I miss my old life, I progressed so far.
Able to challenge my strength of mind,body and soul
Each and every day.
Now that is gone.
Grateful yes I am
Sad and *******?
You better bet.
Although grateful, I am not in good standing with the life I lead  now.
I never asked for this change, I loved my then life and only pleaded for the healthiest body. So I may be the best I could be in all strengths from muscular to mental.
I would love to see the old me and old life I once had.
I would apologize with all my might for whatever I did for it to stop accepting me.
Then maybe I would learn how to live this new resistant relationship I am in.
It's hard to accept that your own body is fighting its every move and with its every move it is literally chipping a little by little of your life and freedom away.
All you can do is wonder why and watch it pay severe tolls each day.
If I cannot return to the past then please may my future be at a level of any normalcy that my present future lacks.
For the sake of my mind and all who are a very important part of it.
Life living in a invisible diseased world
Ju Clear Nov 2016
MS
Multiple Scleriosis
Aka Miserable Self
"Listen to your body"
Says MS nurse
Your mind keeps going
Burning sensations intermittent
Stabing and shooting in arms and legs
Crawling in your head
Numbness in your ***
Forget fullness
Wobbling  stumberling
Fear
Pregablin *****
Dampening your fuesed nerves
Limping dragging
"rest"
Says MS nurse
Mind keeps going
Days are half days
Taken up by sleep
Fear
Weakness
Dropping
Numbness
"pace yourself "
says MS nurse
Mind keeps going
job half done
Delegate
Let go
"Use your alternative technology "
Says MS nurse
Mind keeps going
Stick
Mixer
Steamer
Robotic vacuum cleaner
Hose
Wheelchair
Automatic car
It's challenging Managing Self
Be kinder to yourself
Kindness rules
Challenged by Multiple Sclerisos  ,mother hood ,
Susan Jacob Oct 2016
In the stillness of that split second,

my tawny eyes recognized those woods:

for, It was a familiar bend.

woods all dark and serene as they stood.

I drew my cape closer,

my movements prudential and slower

I heard footsteps behind me;

I turned,my mind dancing with glee

but my face was soon set on a sigh,

for my dreams never came by

I closed my eyes a second time

to succumb to the darkness and stillness of the glen.

A breeze touched me with it’s silent chime;

I felt light spewing in that lion’s den.

Light vanished the dark veil that covered the beauty of nature,

a beauty that nothing in this world could attain as a feature,

the divinity that none could seizure,

the beauty that we destroy for leisure.

I hated to look back to my worldly life

because ,it only bought me sorrow.

I was carried far away,away from that sharp knife.

The beauty around me seemed to stimulate the beauty within me

giving me a better hope for tomorrow.

I had been there; amidst those lilies and heather in every weather

but,I was expecting someone,in that silent ether.

my hair danced in the morning air like a feather,

I knew that something should bring us together.

My heart skipped a beat,I saw her once again

I extended my pale hands to her

she held them,anger and agony silently drained

from my finger tips,for her mind was soft and pure as fur.

Nobody could describe the love I had for that world

where, I could lose myself like an innocent child;

where, the pain of past wounds were to be shed;

the place where the light of imagination led.

I was held back from venturing my imagination,

for they told me to live in the reality,

but,did they knew the painstaking frustration

that,involved the idea of staying back,blocked from glee?

Now that I can’t go back

to that world where hate seemed to lack

I have to die in this menacing shack.

Maybe, one day i’ll be remembered in a clack
It's actually about a woman who lives in two different scenarios.
One in the real world and another in her imagination.
Leila Valencia May 2016
Opening doors keeping out the dark fumes
My lover hidden upon darkened tombs
And I assumed there's an attribution through you
Who am I to assume?
My dream casted discreetly, shielded neatly - playfully pull underneath me
Keep me at an unrest

Undress, test, your eyes will surmise I'm not thinking of only you in dusk sunrise
Tie me, try me - bend me, break me
Try as you mite you can't believe thee
You're not the only eyes  

Hash me, harass me - your answer unfulfilled yet,
Becoming furious I let you come forth
Sharp and sweet I meet you hands and grip they do
I show you, I can love two

You snap and take me, burn, bust, and shake me
You can't hold any longer
You let go
And I run never letting you really hold me
A woman who has no problem being with multiple partners
SassyJ Mar 2016
Stock them high was the order of the day
In queues one by one, they flock shops
A social warehouse of common sales
Slashed home events, buy one get one

On a balcony I sip Chai Latte swiftly
Masses line up on spotlight street path
Each drawn in enterprises of expenditure
A dime for a good, a rhyme to amass more

Coloured triangle on the forehead illuminates
A third eye, a seer pry, mood eased to try
Our eyes meet and my tiled notebook melt
Sing my heart don't protest,soul free to sate

We lost in narrowed jungles strolling multiples
Outer casts giggling, deep withering multiplex
Pasted blocks of concrete as loneliness replies
A vice subtle, an automated paradigm in demise
Thanks J for a lovely day out, my soul is free to sate. I had a triangular pyramid on my forehead and you never questioned my spontaneity. I couldn't quite explain to people what the painted triangle on my forehead was, they really cannot understand..... I tried to be understood.Live life...Love Art....***
Cat Fiske May 2015
the progression of pain,
is not something you can mark with charts and lines,
it is not something a number on a scale on one to ten can define,
but if you want me to tell you how much pain I feel right now based on these standers of living,
I'd say,
About 4 or 5?

But these stings sit steady on our skins,
Because we so suddenly were the ones with nerves,
to stab and sear away at perfect skins,
like our skin we wore represented our life,
and with every lighter and knife,
we made our life and purpose to live,
less?

Giving us the 1st lesson on,
Place Value,
Because people who don't have pain,
where 1st,
and we didn't even fall 2nd.
and if we all Multiplied,
Our product would leave us at 4th,
and you would still sat 1st.
because you were always made to be more then,

even though 1,
was less then 2,
and 1 was the Odd numbered group.
making 2 feel like a mixed number,
because we felt like a fraction of one,
when we were double of what one could ever be,

and the dullness,
In the question,
Rate your pain,
on a scale of one to ten,
My pain is as high as a ten,
but My pain is as equal to that of number,
one or two,

but I just say the median
"a 4 or a 5,"
because you can't mark,
the progress of pain,
with numbers, charts, or lines,
because everything fluctuates on the graph of life.
Idk I just hate being asked this at the Doctors
cv Apr 2015
i giggle at a friend's joke
and wave goodbye to them.
i walk by the streets, kicking rocks
and thinking of dumb old things.

i open the door to the house,
and i am almost used to the sharp, berating voices inside.

i shut them out,
and lay exhausted on my bed.

putting an arm over my eyes,
i rest.

and wake up to them,
looking at me with horrified eyes.
my room is a mess--
a beheaded stuffed bear,
broken ceramics,
crushed scissors,
a butcher knife in my hand,
and warm, crimson fluid streaming down my arm.

what happened, i wonder?
so tired.
A part of me wants to see
The world for what it’s not,
A part of me loves to hate
The life that I've got,
A part of me wants to be
An epitome of victory,
The moment people point at me
I try to hide the other three;
Four quarters add to be the
One who’s forgot.
When cruel people laugh at me,
My pride is all I've got;
Cruel people call me mad
But trust me, I’m not.
Based on Dissociative Identity Disorder
Shannon Jeffery Feb 2015
Come stand with me
Let your mind wander, let it be free
For just one moment, look at your life and realise that you own it.
Open your eyes, no door is closed.
Only your mind can decline the choices you have inside
I can tell you, you perceive your world
In one of two ways
Number one
You're in a room with only one way, do you go through the single door or do you just stay.
Number two
Your room has two doors, but which do you choose. You want to be careful so that you don't lose

Your eyes maybe open, but your mind is sown shut, you feel your stuck in a rut but don't worry your story still ain't woven until you have written and started living.
Picture it like this, the room your in has fifty no make that a hundred doors.
Now through each door, another room exactly the same
No door is closed, never a single choice, now I propose you listen to that little voice that hides in your mind, just take your time, and you'll be just fine.

Now I ain't saying your life will be perfect
It'll probably be far from it, but that's the best part, don't be afraid of what can be made, let your life start.
Never one choice
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