cold water in a shower
hot chocolate getting cold
favourite clothes getting old
movies without the ending I want
ice cream falling in the floor
people having fun when I'm at my worst

I don't know myself anymore
I am so sleep-deprived
I don't remember what a dream is
I think I live in one

I am so alone
yet you keep me company
I am so sleep-deprived
you think and decide for me

I am not in control
we have ten fights a night
I went straight for your ear
there is no light, no light anymore

I am so sleep-deprived
everything's a copy of a copy of a copy
this is my life - your life?
I am so alone
yet you keep me company

I hit you as hard as I could.

Always made to believe that just because there was hope in the world, meant love would greet you in everything you did. Frustrated by movies and their flawless execution of hope left you daydreaming and teary-eyed. The next day you will forget the hope the movie gave you and carry on afraid. When you give him the bad news that you're inspired but afraid you anticipate confusion. He understands and nods his head as you explain that you loved and it hurt. It hurt so bad that you seek it and then reject it when you remember what you taught yourself about loving. He is in the middle of my mind and my heart and its unfair. I blame the movie.

Love is nothing like what is shown on-screen;
Bouquets lavish, flowers never-dying
Every conflict resolved as if foreseen
Hearts so warm, characters end up singing.
The love that's beyond cameras and lights
Is love embellished with imperfections -
Behind their flowery, script-induced lines
Lies no such true feelings and emotions;
Though love may not be sunny days in June
But the darkness in the sky at winter,
Having real intent behind "I love you"s
Are lines more worthy to be delivered.
Love is nothing like what is shown on-screen;
But more deserving of happy endings.

Ya Know ...  
I Quite Enjoyed ... " Drag Me To Hell " ... !!!
  
That Flicks' Quite SICK ... !!!
In How It Toys With Thoughts That Dwell ...
Inside Us All ... About PITFALLS ... !!!
  
And Choices Made To Make The Grade ...  
That May In The End Decide Your FATE ... !!!
  
A Fate That Awaits BAD MINDED Traits ... !!!!!
That Show DISDAIN To Being ... " Humane " ...  
  
This Piece of Prose Is NOT For Those ...
Who Choose To Believe ...
That There Are NO Penalties ... ?!?
When Their Time Is UP ... !?!  
  
DON'T Be SO DUMB ... !
YOU KNOW Extra Time Comes ...
In A Drawn World Cup .... !!!
  
And Then You Know What ... ?
It's .... PENALTIES SON .... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
Now Such Analogies Can Be Quite Deep ... !?!
If You Use Your Brain To Do More Than Attain ...  
A Position With Conditions ...  
Like Enforcement of Renditions ...  

Or DENYING A Petition ...  
From A Soul Facing ... EVICTION ... !!!  
Just To GET TO ... THAT Position ... !?!

Envision Now ... " That Vision " ..........
Cos' It's NOT ONE FROM ... " Pulp Fiction " ... !!!!!
  
It's From ... " Drag Me To Hell " ... !!!
  
A Story I'll Retell To Make A Point To You ...
What Are The Things You Do That Deep Inside You Rue ... !?!
  
Have You Thought of SELF ... ?
When You Could Have HELPED ...  
  
..... Somebody Else ..... ?!?
  
NOW That Could Have You Dragged To Hell ... !?!
Because Such Moves Are NOT Heartfelt ... !!!
  
And Just AREN'T COOL Enough To Quell ...
The HEAT In Cells Where Devils Dwell ...  
And ... FINALLY STEW ... !!!
  
What You Cook Up May Leave You ... "STUCK" ... !?!
Ask CHRISTINE BROWN ... How That Goes Down ... ?!?
It Leads To MORE Than A Face That FROWNS ... !!!
  
It Leads To WARS On ... " Demonic Grounds " ... !!!!!
  
ALL BECAUSE of A LUST FOR MORE ... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
MORE POWER ... MORE CASH ...
... MORE Than YOU HAVE ... !!!
  
Will There Ever Be A Point ... ?
Where You've Got ... ENOUGH ... !?!
  
THINK About That Son Maybe Spark A Joint ... ???  
And FREE YOUR MIND From Thoughts of THIS Kind ... !!!!!
  
Do You Think Telling LIES ...
Is Gonna Help Your Plight ... ???
When Judgement Day Arrives ... !?!
  
There's Surely MORE To Life ... !!!  
Than Your Advancement ... RIGHT ... ?!?
  
Well It Seems These Days That MANY Now Stray .......................
Down ... DEVIOUS LANES To MAKE Their Way ...  
  
No Matter WHAT They Have To DO ... !?!?!

From 9/11 Plots To Those Now Being SHOT ... !!!!
In The Name of TERROR They're TRYING TO STOP ... ?!?
  
I Think There's An ERROR That's Censored SPOCK ... !!!
LOGIC Now Dropped For A FEAR FILLED LOT ... !!!!
  
FEAR That Seeps And Slowly Creeps ... !!!
Like DEVILISH Deeds Now Running Streets ... !!!
  
Once Again That's DEEP Just Like This Flick ...  
Where This ... AMBITIOUS Chick ...  
Just Could Not See Beyond Her Dreams of LOVED UP Scenes ...  
  
Even Though SHE KNEW She Had A TAINTED View ... !!!!
  
It Was CLEAR That This Lady Was Gonna See HADES ... !!!
  
"V, it's just a film !"
  
"I know that dude, But the film was ill !"

"Okay cool, continue !"
  
"Thank you, I will, see the deal was this,
like a Tale From The Crypt, she received a gift,  
that she didn't want, because of her wish,
to get this job, when she knew she'd done wrong !"
  
"Okay i'm hearing you Virge, go on, go on !"
  
"Well, the plot was kinda long, and had a lot going on !
Action and consequence, was the message by the end,
which gave me inspiration, to write this here poem !"
  
To Improve Your Situation ...
What Would You Truly Do ... !?!
  
Do You Think That ... Lying BLATANT ... !!!!  
Is Something You Would ... CHOOSE ... ???
  
Do You NOT BELIEVE In SATAN ... ?!?
Or That He May FACE YOU ... !!!
When It Is TIME For You To DIE ...  
And Testify ... About Your Life ... !?!
  
When Your Spirit Flies You May Just Find ...
That You Are JUDGED For ALL YOUR CRIMES ... !?!
  
The ... " Trivial Ones " ...
And MORE SERIOUS Types ... !!!!!
  
"Son, you ain't a cat, you ain't got nine lives !"
  
DON'T NO-ONE Know What The Afterlife Holds ... ?!?
  
But As Curtis Said DON'T Be Misled ... !!!
  
"If there's a Hell below, we're all gonna go !"
  
Well I'd Rather Believe ...
That If You DON'T Deceive For ... SELFISH MEANS ... !!!  
  
You'll Embrace The LIGHT In The Afterlife ... !!!  
  
... " Drag Me To Hell " ...
  
Asks Many Questions About Life's Lessons ...
  
And The One It ... " SELLS " .........
Is ... THIS ONE About HELL .........
  
When You Think About The Things YOU DO ...  
  
...... " Could It Await YOU ? " ......

This has been a rough few week
Hah, more like months
Why are we dancing like this
Spinning 'round in circles
Never touching, never leaving
I can't be the only one who's tired of this

But can you imagine a life
Where we finally meet
Touch in the middle
Fall in love
I know that isn't me
But it could be

In a world where I'm strong
Where I can make you laugh
Sit in the back
Smiling and flash peace signs
Laughing in the halls
Would you still walk me to class
Hold my hand if I asked
I can imagine you when you drive
Screeching and dramatic
Blasting Boy Division and
Eyes glued to the road

We don't talk about serious things
In normal places
Words slip out into
Normal conversations
Bleeding from the edges
Are we closer now
Or further away

I have a lot of questions for you
That I'll never ask
Like if I'm good enough
If you could ever even love me
Why you asked about my boyfriend
And decided to confide
In the middle
Of a highschool cafeteria
It's not that I mind
I just want to ask why

Tomorrow, I won't see you
Will we still talk
Or will a silence fall
Like the snow that won't come
And deafen us forever
Will I sit with you again
Laugh with all your friends
You seemed happy enough
Was that what you wanted all along
Do you do what I do

Can you ever fall asleep
On a cloudy afternoon
Would you wake up
If I asked you to
If the sun was rising
From behind the clouds
If the blinds weren't down
Would you let me
Hold your hamster
And what was with those eyes
When I said the only thing I want
Is someone to sing
The other half
Of Promiscuous with me
Were you thinking about it
When you asked me to put you on my shoulders
At the MCR concert
What did you mean
When you said we'd go to a break room
For your birthday party
Who else would be there
I can't imagine
It'd just be me

And if we do meet
What does that mean
Can I pet your hair
Pick you up and run
While you struggle and giggle
And not quite scream
What did you mean
When you said your best friend was emo
Did you mean me
You were looking at me
Am I the closest thing you have
To a friend at this point
What happened last year
I can see you flunking
But not without reason
Who are you
Beneath all of your clothes
What made you this way
Who shaped you
Into the being
You are today

Can we lift sometime
Go to a shop
I can body block
Or maybe just hit the road
Complain about my family's
Unspiced plain taco meat
It's not my fault
They are like that
You know that too
I like that

Would you listen to a song
If I sent it to you
And I know that there's
A reason you left the friend group
Are you worth giving up
Everybody else
Something in me screams
That you just might be
And what if we do
What if we end up
In rural New Jersey
Driving up for the weekends
Or down to your apartment
To stay up and sleep in
Would you lay next to me
Stay up with me
Read and talk and ***** to me
Would you be everything I need

I couldn't be yours forever
I wouldn't be yours at all
And I can see you
With that stupid, self satisfied half smile
Hands on your hips
Androgynous
Content to let me
Be my own person
Yeah, I can see that
I can feel the rise and fall of your chest
Maybe we'll roadtrip
With your old friends who smoke ****
They could drive
Stay up all night
You'd fall asleep on me in the backseat
No stops in town
Just gas stations
And fields of grey grasses
Your friend would download
Really bad movies
Play them on an iPad
Propped up on the dashboard
Feet up, head back
Singing that life's just like that
We could pull over
To the side of the road
Get out, stretch our weary limbs
I can see you squatting down
Picking up rocks and stones
I wouldn't kiss you then
Maybe wouldn't ever
But I'd watch your back
Would you watch me back
Would you watch me too

Would you look in my eyes
And see something other
Than the standard grey blue
Would you find religion
In my hands and fingers
I hope you wouldn't
I don't want you to
Would you appraise my body
As just another creature
A vessel for my soul
And would you care
Would you stand with me
When it mattered
Or would you walk away

Would things be the same
As they were at the start
Shaking hands
Sitting on the floor, reading books
Swinging at the park
Maybe I know you now
What you're doing
Walking past me
Never looking back at me
You want me to follow you
Through highs and lows
Thick and thin
And I can't chase you forever
I don't even want to

But you saw something in me
You answered me
You remembered
National Emo Day
You asked me to play drums
While you played bass
You asked me what I thought
About your hair
You showed me your dogs
Texted me about bands
And I think you meant it
When you shook my hand
Greeted me
Asked to meet with me
Didn't ignore me
On the first day back
Even when you saw your friends
You sat outside in the cold
Rejected the good table
And put up with me
Even when my jokes didn't land
And I stepped on your toes
Crossed your lines
Wasted your time

So do you sleep in the light
Do you think there's a heaven
After this life
What happened with your parents
Where do you want to go
Have you ever loved someone
Do I really want to know
Who was that one ex
The one even skinnier than me
Will you laugh while I cry
Or will you look away from me
Are your scared of being broken
Or far past ready to break
Do you want to fall in love right now
Or will I have to wait