Like clockwork as the sun bleeds through the curtains,
I listen for your footsteps on the other side of the door.
The doorknob turns painfully slowly but never slow enough,
As the morning rays light your face as you approach my bed.
You wear a smile on your face and its breaks my heart,
Knowing that once again I'll be the one to shatter it.
Please don't ask me to leave this bed,
that has slowly became my prison.
Do not ask me to pull free from its grip,
So that I may not deny your pleads.
And perhaps we can avoid the pain,
that will weigh heavy on both are chest.
If I leave behind this bed I can no longer pretend I'm still asleep,
No longer hide behind the ideal that this is all just a bad dream.
Forced to deal with the empty numbness in my heart,
with the occasional sudden flicker of unexplained longing.
But I can not tell you what it is that my heart pitifully seeks,
As even I can not make sense of these tangled emotions.
For if I leave this bed I'll drown slowly,
But it wont be water that fills my lungs.
And there's not enough deep breaths,
to keep from suffocating in my own skin.
If you make me leave this bed,
your casting me out into the sea.
So please do not walk down this hallway,
Avoid the doorknob as if it would burn you skin.
And Ill pull the Curtains close a little tighter,
and pretend to have never heard you pleas.
Ill hold to this life boat of a bed for dear life,
And continue to tell myself its nothing more then a dream.
