You make your mistakes
your mistakes don't make you

These pools of black, and heart of glass will not survive the pain.
The ups and downs, demons and clowns will haunt me till the end.
And I can't help but wonder,
If I can get through without a blunder.
Maybe we could go back to the place we were,
The smiles in pain, the lies, and cries, and heartbreak,
The love in hate, the real in fake, could we get past these mistakes?
Because these pools of black and this heart of glass will not survive the pain.
The ups and downs, demons and clowns will haunt you till the end.

You know those moments
that you do something that seems
Justifiable and fine
that is
in the moment
but then
you realize
That was
Really
Really
          Really
                                    Stupid

I've always tried to be the knight in shining armor. I've tried to carry the weight of the world. In doing so I've thrown everything i hold dear away. I've had old loves leave because of my actions. I've had family leave because of my actions. I've had friends leave because of my actions. There was a point when i lost it all. I was no longer the knight

My 20s weren’t good to me
My 20’s were bad
All my friends grew up
And I stayed sad

20 meltdowns
20 lies
20 mistakes

All this time passed by
And I continue to ache

Is there a chance for us to undo the past?
To correct our mistakes
To retract all the wrong doings
To take back everything

Is there someone, somehow, who can help me heal the pain?
Would there be anyone out there willing to take me in?
Who can be by side and mend me?
A living soul, who'll be there to catch me.

I'm scared. Yes, I am scared.
No, I am not. I'm terrified.
I'm extremely, terribly, gravely, terrified.
And it's terrifying that, I feel terrified.

I am nervous.
I am frightened.
I am horrified.
No, I am petrified.

But you know what the scariest thing of 'em all?
The most petrifying, horrifying thing?
Is that I am shaky and rattled—
But my body feels like sassy and comfy.

I'm getting used of doing unsuitable things
Feeling cozy and warm—
Relax and composed
It feels like having my second skin—

Oh, I know. I know —
I think — just a thought
That maybe, just maybe...
I need saving — help me.