The act of grieving.
It’s unlike anything I’ve
Ever had to go through.
Survived through 17 years of
Mental torture at the hands of
A mother who should have loved me;
But alcoholism had her by the throat
          ****.
That never received any justice.
Physical abuse and mental abuse
For years by a man who should have
Cherished me but instead hated me.
12 hours of labor with no medication.
No relief of the spine crushing pain.
And yet the simple act of you dying.
             Of you leaving me behind,
                           In this world without you.
Has crushed and devastated me.
     Leaving me
                          annihilated and listless.
And without

My best friend, my cheerleader, my fan, my sounding board, my dad, my confidant, my partner in crime, my moral backbone, my courage, my strength, my forever compass, my mother figure, my only family.

I don’t know how to exist here.

The act of grieving,
Has left me tired and restless.
And I’m unsure if I’ll finish the act
Or the act will finish me.
   Exit stage…..
                                                        ­        Right.

I miss you,
I miss your hugs,
I miss how you play with my hair
I miss how I am drowned in your kisses.
I don't know why
but it seems that you already forgotten me,
I miss you love,
I'm always here for you.
Your kisses,
Your smile,
Your laughter,
I miss them.
But I miss you the most.
If you ever read this,
Please message me.
Love, I love you.

I dreamt that I saw you
barreling towards me in a sea of people,
and with your arm extended out
to touch me, pushing past me,
and you looked back
with bewildered eyes,
scared, confused,
but not knowing;
I only recognized you when I awoke,
and I'm sure
you'd never remember who I was.

what do you do when
you never see her again?
after one afternoon

is it enough? to just
burn her face into your memory
even though you sat next to each other in class every day
even though she tried to talk to you
even though the tightness in your chest wouldn’t leave

what should i do when
i missed all my chances
after one afternoon

she took the train and headed to georgia
i doubt she’ll remember me
as farms turn to houses
as houses turn to buildings
as time passes and she disappears into a sea of faces

what should i do when
i still have dreams about you?
on a sunny afternoon