Two people can be great
But just not always with each other

If you asked me
Why I fell in love with you
I would say
Your smile
The way you snort when you laugh
Your bear hugs
The forehead kisses you gave me every night
Your snores

But if I asked you
Why you fell in love with me
You would sit there silently
Because you can't remember

When I was a little girl
I imagined what my husband would be like
I imagined him kissing me when he walked through the door
I imagined him loving me with his whole heart

And when I met you
I knew exactly what he would look like
And that he would kiss me when he walked through the door
And he would love me with his whole heart

But somewhere that disappeared

I never imagined my husband would let me down
I never imagined I would cry on the edge of our bed all alone
I never imagined the weight of my heavy, sad heart would drag me down

I never imagined you could stop loving me

How suddenly we became
two people who forgot who they were

How suddenly we forgot
what is was to love each other

How suddenly we became
two strangers who sleep in the same bed

Have you ever
been told to do one simple thing
but that one simple thing
cannot be done by you?

Have you ever
felt so useless and helpless
because you are unable
to do the one thing you are supposed to do?

Have you ever
been told you will never hear
the pitterpatter of a toddler's feet
running across your floor again?

Have you ever
wanted the one thing you will never have
so badly it keeps you
awake at night?

Me too.

I am not sure
where we go when we die

And I am not sure
where the glimmer went
that was once in your eye

I never thought
I would love again
until I looked in to
the deep blue eyes
of a little boy
that I created
with my own body

At what point
do you stop feeling
because I never noticed
until now

I wake up
to the feeling of his arms
wrapped around me and
his lips tangled up in my hair
like last night
is wiped from his memory
and the only evidence remaining
Are my red eyes
and swollen cheeks
and broken heart

I hate you
for the nights you let me
cry myself to sleep
while you lie awake next to me
pretending not to hear my gasping breaths

I hate you
for making promises
you knew you'd never keep

I hate you
for making me feel
so empty
so worthless

But I love you
for our first date
and you kissing me
on my parents' porch

I love you for the night
you got down on one knee
and asked me the question
I had been waiting for

I love you
because without you
I have a hole in my heart
where our love
once was