When I stand at the ocean shore
I can look far in the endless horizon
It's the mirror of the emptiness inside

Storms come up and Followed by sunshine
That reflects my mood swings inside
It changes faster than day turns to night

The Ocean shore marks my emotional borderline
If I step over, I could drown
But if I stay, the path will be dark

The waves mark my friendships
Try to hold on to them, but in the end they break
But some are not like waves, they are who will stay

I take a photo of this view in black and white
Do I like the endlessness or the ocean shore
I can't like both, so I have to decide

I build a few lines with Stones
The Wind and time tries to destroy the lines
But they will stay, like my scars

At morning you wake,
the sun burning your eyes,
you wonder how much more it will take,
until you reach your demise,

you're already counting down the hours left in the day,
terrified for what's ahead,
planning how to get away,
from all the words they haven't yet said,

you start your slow walk to school,
with your earphones full blast,
levitating straight down the hall,
please can this day be the last,

it's hard not to think it's your own fault,
when you're the reciever of every stare,
and the target of every insult,
that plunges you further into despair,

you want to scream "what did I ever do to you?",
for them to treat you like **** on their shoe,
to have your spirit beaten black and blue,

how can people tell you to ignore it,
when everyday you take a hit,
you reported them but it was no use,
they practically just tied your noose,

so inside it you place your head,
and you do as they wished,
so now you're dead,
then they'll say how much you'll be missed

Forgive me, I tried,
to fight the demons inside,
but I have to admit,
to it I did submit,
it becomes an addiction,
forcing me into submission,

Forgive me, I need,
to learn how to plead,
for it to leave me alone,
after all that it's shown,
I don't want to live like this,
but it's something I know I'll miss,

Forgive me, for I can't explain,
why I self inflict such pain,
or why I can't put down the blade,
and disappear in the shade,
but it's my way to cope,
at times when I've lost all hope,

Forgive me, I can't,
ignore the voices that chant,
telling me that I'm weak,
and other nastiness they speak,
demanding that I cut,
and forever be in this rut,

Forgive me, but they win,
I can't fight all this pain from within,
I need to feel the blood run,
the devil thinks it's fun,
that my final string has snapped,
and in this cycle I'm forever trapped

You NEED to do this and you NEED to do that
I’m no longer me, I’ve become flat
What makes you an expert, on my mind?
You no longer see me, you are now blind

I don’t do as you say so you ply me with guilt
These kind of conditions have caused me to wilt
My petals have faded; they’re all on the floor
You think it will stop, if I just give you more

I’m not sure; I have much left to give
I’m desperately lost, I feel I can’t live
I’m stuck in a box, I don’t have a voice
I’m doing things and I don’t have a choice

I’ve shut down, I no longer smile
You can’t see me; it’s just not your style
I’m nothing unless I do what you say
I’m no longer human, I’m now decay

My voice has no sound, my tears you can’t see
It’s all about you, it’s no longer WE
I’ve so tried hard, to release, my chains
I need you to look, and see, the strains

I get so frustrated, I’m starting to pop
I keep so much in, with the hope it will stop
The hope is now lost, I have nowhere to turn
I’m all alone, I’m starting to burn

If I give in to the tears, forever they’ll flow
A lot has happened, a lot no one knows
All I wanted, was a real hand,
But I’ll never ask and I’ll never demand

There is help, it’s in tablet form
I’m scared of it, don’t want to conform
I won’t be real, I’ll just be numb
Is it all I can do with the damage that’s done?

The sun rises,
my body wakes;  
my mind follows slowly behind,  
dreading the day that is mine.
I get out of bed
with last night’s nightmares still in my head.  

This is how I start my day—  
covered in shame and sin,  
I only feel emptiness and pain.  

My nightmares never fade,  
constantly replaying,  
reminding me that death is slowly creeping in.

There’s only one way to free my mind,  
even if it hurts those I leave behind...

But I don’t want to leave you alone,  
so I’ll leave you with my heart.  
You're the only one who appreciated its art.  
seeing it for who it was and still loving it wholly.

I wish I could rid myself of these living nightmares  
without bullets, pills, or ropes.  
But the nightmares crave pain and loss;  
they do not thrive on love or hope.

When the sun sets behind the hills  
and I breathe my last breath,  
when Death knocks at my door, beckoning me home,  
I’ll follow close behind,  
my empty chest lacking the ticking time bomb  
that once kept us close.

Deep in the darkest corners of the mind,
through the corridors you will find,
the thoughts slowly skulking along,
and everything just feels so wrong,

the tricks it plays,
putting the host in a haze,
reality or not, who can tell
encompassed in an unpenetrable shell,

it blocks out the guiding light,
burying it far out of sight,
in the dark is when it does the most,
turning into your own personal ghost,

filling the brain with endless ideation,
begging you to bring it into fruition,
but if you work hard then you just might,
eradicate that suicidal parasite

The curtains close
And leave me in a suffocating darkness.
My senses shut down
And I feel trapped.
My depression, the only thing in the room that I can acknowledge
Sweeps me into her arms
And comforts me with the idea
Of eternity.

Because of you my life is tainted,
By the hellish landscape that you painted,
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would've been,
If what I encountered had been seen,
But it was behind closed doors,
Leaving me lonely in the moors,
My innocent heart,
It was torn apart,
All the fragments spread,
And I'm at the mercy of the voices in my head,
They so to move on you need to forgive,
But you've left me with trauma I always relive,
Sometimes I wanna **** you and scream "F#ck you!"
And I know my parents do too,
But you're not worth the time I'd have to serve,
So I just hope one day you'll get what you deserve,
Maybe one day I can tear apart the hell you painted,
And leave my life a little less tainted