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Nicky Aug 21

Stuck in a bubble, fighting the struggle
And dying on the inside
Thoughts are racing, the room I’m pacing
How I wish, I could have just cried

Yet there I stood, stuck like mud
A face of full control
Whilst you sat there drunk, lungs full of skunk
And you pushed me into the hole

Please stay away, I need my day
Just to say goodbye
But you came with words, quite absurd
And I tried to believe your lies

What did I expect, you have no respect
Yet I tried to see the best
A lesson in life, it cut like a knife
As I failed another test

I’m paying the price; I’m now cold as ice
Most of the time, I don’t feel
It pained so much, I no longer touch
Was our friendship real?

But you’re better now, so take your bow
Make  jokes about what you did
It ruined me, you didn’t see, so from you, I hid

Now I find it hard, to try to discard
The memories of that day
Replayed in my mind, delete I can’t find
Whilst wondering what he’d say..........
Nicky Aug 18

I fight to eat and I fight to sleep
I fight to lose and I fight to keep
I fight to stay and I fight to go
I’m tired of fighting, it’s starting to show

I fight to live and I’ve fought to die
I fight to keep fighting, I question why
I fight to be happy, the fight makes me sad
I fight to be good whilst the fight makes me bad

I fight for freedom, but the fight has me trapped
Where does it end? It’s all overlapped
If i stop the fight, I don’t think I’ll live
It’s taking its toll, not much left to give

This fight is silent, me against the mind
Some can see it, some are now blind
‘How are you today?’ ‘I’m fine, of course’
You don’t want to know, the smile is forced

Nothing is real yet everything matters
The light has left, my mind is in tatters
My life as I know it, one great big fight
‘I’m fine, of course, I’ll be alright’........
Nicky Aug 8
As we stand here, in the winds of change
Our connection and emotions completely rearrange
As we stand here in the ditch of confusion
Is this real love or energetic delusion

Do we keep walking, see what unfolds
Do we have the courage, can we find the gold
Boundaries severed, trust is wearing thin
How did it happen, oh where would I begin

Can we find the magic, is it even there
It starts in the mind not the bodies laid bare
Unconditional love or desperate attachment
A sense of freedom or emotional entrapment

Your only genuine traits, seem to be your lies
You’re only ‘nice words’ are said to criticize
I’m not perfect either, I fire back at times
But I’m controlled by you and your bitter sweet crimes
Nicky Feb 7
Can you gently sense, another person's pain?
If you felt the depth, would it ever be the same?

Are you aware of how much they might hide?
Can you comprehend, the fragments that have died?

Do you try to listen, to the words that they don't speak?
Do you see their fight for freedom, and compassion that they seek?

Do you decipher, that vacant look in their eyes?
Do you justify your judgement then forget to question why?

The detail is the void and the truth is the lies
Often misunderstood, as is your look of clear surprise

If you walked those seven years, whilst wearing their shoes
The rain would fall hard, the sun you would lose

Would you find the strength to rise again every day?
Or would you stay locked inside , too afraid to say?
Seven years!
Nicky Dec 2018
You came to me late, one night in a dream
A magical memory with a whimsical theme
I heard your voice, a distinguished sound
Your energy and protection, I could feel all around

Your strength and knowledge will forever shine through
But on this plane, I'll no longer see you
You're part of me and in my mind you'll love on
So hard for me to accept that you're gone

I try to keep you with me in a pendant on a chain
It allows me comfort like the sunshine through the rain
And when I get scared I hold it in my palm
You tell me 'keep going, I'm proud of you, stay calm'

Your heart, it was so big, it gave so much
So many broken people softened by it's touch
I hope I see you again, one night in a dream
A magical memory with a whimsical theme....
Nicky Aug 2018
And there she sat with her little black cat and her cauldron of herbs and spices
Book of shadows in hand, perfect spell planned, her magical aura entices

So it be, good luck she'll see, taking her darkness away
Bless her soul, keep her whole, lead her to brighter days
And into the universe it goes, energy far and wide
Patience needed, till the spell has succeeded and on happier days she'll ride
Nicky Aug 2018
Passion in her heart and mayhem in her mind, a dangerous combination, the two combined....
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