After you left, I came to understand,
That you were the one I craved beyond touch, beyond desire.
It was your warmth, the comfort of holding you tight,
Falling asleep in that embrace, finding peace in the night,
To look at you endlessly, until my heart overflowed,
And still, to gaze more, wanting never to let go,
To love you so fiercely that, even as years pass by,
Your memories cling to my soul, refusing to die.

Like leaves that drift and scatter,
Time may mist and muddle—
Faces blur, places shift—
But do memories truly fade?

After twisting a dagger at my back
For so long with no sound,
You made an unutterable attack
Did you think I'd never find out?
The secrets that left your mouth
For someone else to listen
And now as you try to enlighten,
I'm focussed on what I pen
Because I still love,
I still care,
And I could write it all here
Without you knowing
because you don't deserve to anymore.
How, I'm still so shaken
Yet I cant ask you anything
Because I'm still a craven
But if I could form a question
Perhaps the last time
I'd walk down the memories we nurtured
The most beautifully twisted curves
And ask just this that;
Cara, how did you get the nerves?

A torrent of rain
flick end of a storm,
we danced to kitchen jazz
safe and dry and warm,
wolves came to listen
more than one or two,
circular howling
maybe they were dancing too

What path in this warren of life,
made you go from affection
in everything you said,
to disdain in your nostalgic eyes?

The promises we uttered,
expecting to keep them for eternity and after;
now dissolved in the acid of your treachery.

Was it just me who had that intention
of never leaving until the end of time
or, were they merely just a game of your deceit?

The mirage of your trust and insistence
of partly carrying my burdens,
as I did for you,
now reduced to ashes
from which an ember lowly emits in its wake.

The very envisage of us being,
that would hush me too a deep repose
on sleepless nights;
now keeping me up until dawn.

Perhaps,
it was my fault
for expecting so much.

For assuming you were
the one friend I'd needed,
in this deep, hollow concept of living.

I suppose what I'm better off with
is a barren version
of the shallow expectations concerning
human existence.

Often times, I reckon,
what would be of us
if we hadn't strayed apart to divergent voyages.

It is as though,
due to the circumstances uncalled
or our fraying nexus of connection,
we just weren't meant to be.

These endless dreams of you beside me never cease,
A fleeting joy turned nightmare when I wake alone.
How do I continue without you near?
How do I move past the joy you once brought?

Regret fills me for burning bridges, now gone,
Memories haunt each day as if we just broke up.
I lie to myself, pretending I don't need you,
Yet you were the missing piece that completed me.

Now, emptiness lingers where once you filled my world,
Yearning to reclaim what's lost, though it slips away.
I should have moved on, why do I still hold on?
Guilt seeps in for feeling this amidst a new love.

You were my everything, now I'm shattered,
Incomplete without you, left in broken fragments.

~
The method is slow
And probably dangerous

From your telescope
Fewer and fewer places
No advancing horizon

Are you rendering again?

Two miles of uncertainty
Too much undergloom
You don't remember his face

It's war of attrition
A home for you
No place to run
No place to hide
To live is to die slowly
~