I want to end the story of that guy who is good…who is nice..who is helpful! I wan to stop the scene of that person who is with that cool smile.. I wan to start a new story! …… No More of those facades! A story of a new version… A story of upgraded version… And not… A version of a perfect one! I am not seeking perfectionism… I’m seeking my true self… I’m seeking Me! 10-10-2018
To the lord or to the devil To whomever I served really well Give purpose to these unworthy & pure hands, Touch my unknowing soul and tell ; Which shall I inherit? Great life of profanity or blant righteous enternity
Is lifetime in this very soil the damnation? I live with trembling fear for every of my actions
With these lips I've sin With them I confessed, too My heart knows nothing within With my worthless words, I ask you.
Dreams that lay broken by grief shattered on the ground, I'm slowly piecing back together bit by bit one piece at a time the slow rebuild of my life having lost my loverly wife but I'm rebuilding my life from all the memories that I have to relive my life again but living with Helen's spirit to Guide me on the way she will lead me on my new venture through this ever changing world
Ever changing world Helen spirit will be with me to guide me through life In this ever changing world
nothing can hold me back now, neither any luxury, nor any love, neither any goal, nor any determination, don't tell me now, that you will be there for me, when i have stood alone, in the breathtaking storms, watching my sail, being blown away, don't tell me you love me, when i know you don't, don't tell me it's all gonna be better, when i already know, you will always be you, and i'll a;ways be me.........
I stand alone with my shadow, Developing larger on the floor. Voices are heightened in these loosened hours, I can feel my failures outside my door. For is it fair to live in fear, Consistently dreading numbed durations? I still sense the pain of things that won't adhere, And uneasy twinges of deserted sensations. My apathy is back and it has worsened, My eyes have widened because I know what comes next. The flood of my trauma ends lack of emotion, drowning me, sending me straight to my death-
I have felt apathy my whole life
I feel so much I push it out of my head so I don't die. I feel too much and itsit's horrible. I feel numbed most days now to try and deal with it