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José 16h
How broken you left?
How much i truly miss what we had in the begin
I don't miss you anymore, I hate the person
You become and what you did to me










Empty Heart is all I have left
I'm trying to think but nothing come out.
I want to end the story of that guy who is good…who is nice..who is helpful!
I wan to stop the scene of that person who is with that cool smile..
I wan to start a  new story!
…… No More of those facades!
A story of a new version…
A story of upgraded version…
And not…
A version of a perfect one!
I am not seeking perfectionism…
I’m seeking my true self…
I’m seeking Me!
10-10-2018
aL 1d
To the lord or to the devil
To whomever I served really well
Give purpose to these unworthy & pure hands,
Touch my unknowing soul and tell
;
Which shall I inherit?
Great life of profanity
or blant righteous enternity

Is lifetime in this very soil the damnation?
I live with trembling fear for every of my actions

With these lips I've sin
With them I confessed, too
My heart knows nothing within
With my worthless words, I ask you.
Mad confusion
Dreams that lay broken
by grief shattered on the ground, I'm slowly
piecing back together bit
by bit one piece at a
time the slow
rebuild
of my life having lost
my loverly wife but I'm rebuilding my life from
all the memories that I have to relive my life
again but
living with Helen's spirit to
Guide me on the way she will lead me on my new venture through this ever changing world
Ever changing world Helen spirit will be with me to guide me through life In this ever changing world
zz 1d
The night I left
I removed my heart
and put it in your chest

Now I wonder sometimes
if you can still feel my love
flooding in your veins
nothing can hold me back now,
neither any luxury,
nor any love,
neither any goal,
nor any determination,
don't tell me now,
that you will be there for me,
when i have stood alone,
in the breathtaking storms,
watching my sail,
being blown away,
don't tell me you love me,
when i know you don't,
don't tell me it's all gonna be better,
when i already know,
you will always be you,
and i'll a;ways be me.........
I stand alone with my shadow,
Developing larger on the floor.
Voices are heightened in these loosened hours,
I can feel my failures outside my door.
For is it fair to live in fear,
Consistently dreading numbed durations?
I still sense the pain of things that won't adhere,
And uneasy twinges of deserted sensations.
My apathy is back and it has worsened,
My eyes have widened because I know what comes next.
The flood of my trauma ends lack of emotion,
drowning me, sending me straight to my death-
I have felt apathy my whole life

I feel so much I push it out of my head so I don't die.
I feel too much and itsit's horrible.
I feel numbed most days now to try and deal with it
Everything is pixellated
Your eyes are squares, you try to stick me
Into a neat little graphic box for later
And then you never come back.

Everything is monochrome
There's beauty in the symmetry
You fall for a girl so you try to date her
And then you never come back.

Everything is cracking
You distort the piece's key
Shoot my gun and label me the traitor
And then you never come back.

Everything is you
All my brain cells agree
No universal force is greater
Except you never come back.
not sure
******* addiction.
******* depression.
******* pills.
******* alcohol.
******* love.
******* suïcide.
******* Truth.
Why me?
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