Though it's not the smartest thing to do,
I lose myself when I'm with you.
Though it's the one thing I can't say to you,
I find myself always erasing the text "I love you."

As the sunlight fades
And the winter chill is near
And my tan lines linger
I can still feel you here

The warmth of your touch
And the depth of your gaze
The gravelly sound of your voice
Simply sets me ablaze

Though oceans between us
While you’re out to sea
My memory lingers on
The first moment it seized

A warmth without measure
The following days unforeseen
That entropic affection
Traveling through the scenes

You head over at 6 pm on Wednesdays,

You call me.

You leave on Sunday mornings,

I call you.

You've only been gone 3 hours,

You call me.

You leave for work at 5:15 pm,

I call you.

You don't get your first break until 10 pm,

You call me.

You get off work at 6 am,

I call you.

Every day.

We call.

I used to think that we were ******
By distance.
I still do, but now
I can't help but think about
How incredibly lucky I am
To have someone in my life
That is so worth missing,
So worth loving.
How fortunate I am
To have someone
To wait for.

I need your heart
I need your presence
And all that aches within me
Is the lack of you
The lack of your scent
The lack of your soft skin
Your absence breaks me
It splits me in half and rips me to shreds
I’m missing a piece shaped like you
Shaped like the way you curl up when you’re cold
Shaped like your messy morning hair
Shaped like the electricity between two souls
Yours and mine
Heart to heart
Together forever
Even if miles apart.

I promised myself never to give in to love
Never to let it take me
Or wreck what I’ve built
Never to let it be a noose
Or a sharpened knife
But then I looked into your soul
Your beautiful, green eyes
Your soft, brown hair
And the tuft that sticks up from your head in the morning
The way your voice cracks when you’re passionate
The way your nose wrinkles when laugh  
Your fingertips brushing over my arm
Or your thumb caressing my hand absentmindedly
Your eyes meeting mine and forming a cosmic bond
Stars meeting stars and colliding
Exploding in the space between my lips and your teeth
Because the way your hands around me feel
The way it‘s like you’ll never let go
Is enough for me to break
Because I don’t know when I’ll see you again
I need your touch and my heart on your string
Face to face, skin to skin
It doesn’t matter what I promised, because suddenly,
You’re my everything.

In place of calm, read stirring ocean,
Scylla and Charybdis,
between a rock and a hard place.

In place of comfort, read your body,
transient, missing, on a plane somewhere
in a car somewhere on a boat somewhere
without your phone somewhere
somewhere somewhere somewhere
that is not my apartment or my arms
but somewhere where you smile.
Somewhere where your eyes
finally focus.
In place of sleep, read blood between the floorboards
and moving boxes scattered,
read burst capillaries and a savings jar
full of Washingtons and no idea
what I’m saving for.
In place of stasis, read
one fast move or I’m gone.

I am thinking of you
As I lie in bed.
I think of you all day
But when it is dark
And I am alone
In my bed
Everything about you
Entices my brain
And I can't help but think about
How much I miss you
How much I love you
And how much
I wish you were here
Lying in bed
Next to me.