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Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
Standing outside seeming lost
Striding circles with confusion
To the side by waves I am tossed
Sea simply an illusion
Losing self I've always known
Chasing light that is fading
Where sun once brightly shone
A river of shadows I'm wading
Forever rise to fall to knees
Rusted
Bent
Bruised
A cycle of mocking memories
Reminding me I was used
The ascending sun seems further away
Round the earth slowly spins
Harder feeling its warmth every day
Scattered like bowling pins
It's taking a toll on welfare
Screams of peace of mind
Louder as life strips me bare
There is nothing good left to find
This silly sadness spawned space
The emptiness consuming my soul
A powerful demon wearing the face
Of person who once made me whole
Why did I ever let you mean so much?
Clove Jan 2021
I've spent so much time
Learning from other people's
Choices
Experiences
Mistakes
That I've grown comfortable
Living life vicariously
Through others
Instead of living life
Through me

I think it's time I learn to live
It's my life. Only I can live it.
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
I struggled in the past
To write a respectable rhyme
More I create the harder it gets
Have to put in increasing time
But this is the first time in months
By far the most in years
Inspired I have felt
It's all thanks to my tears
Bad news is I'm crying
That means more pain
Root of excellence isn't sunshine
For me it's pouring rain
Meaning hidden in the suffering
Can't feel good 100% of the time
Otherwise things wouldn't feel good at all
Without other to compare it to
Is no difference between short and tall
I express better in shades of sorrow
Than I do in colorful rainbows and bliss
Negative emotions waiting in my soul
I try to verse happiness
Doesn't come out sounding truly authentic
That's because it's forced
Words meant to gallop freely
Not corralled
Coerced
I suffer writers block in moments of peace
In a way I'm grateful we are apart
Won't lie and say I'm not bothered by it
At least the result is some beautiful art
Going through this breakup has really brought out my creative side
Plead for a walk,
window glass confession
Heart watchwalktalkmeditationluck,
Cold was not outside today,
Feels like the best spring play
Joy having nothing to do with this run away from your real responsability...
But what to do?
Tell a heart she's wrong?
As if he weren't the same...
Walkwatchmeditation_talk
Life isn't cruel.
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
I did not realize the weight of all these bad decisions
Directly in the shade cast by massive collisions
Needed to move somewhere warm
Escape the cycle of snow
Garden was fading when it needed to grow
For own sanitys sake I fled
Couldn't outrun the hell inside my head
No matter where I go the past follow me like a lost puppy
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
The pieces of us
Puzzle way too hard to solve
I won't stop trying
No matter what happened I still long to see who you truly are
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
I think I tire of my brain
Thoughts keep racing around
From wondering I cannot refrain
I try to chain them to the ground

Will love you no matter what
It makes no sense
Each time you expertly cut
A hole through my thickest defense

The way you played me
A fiddle
Was too dumb to figure it out
I'll never understand your riddle
Only hypothesize what you think about

Looked at me
Those enigmatic eyes
The rest of the world faded away
Too bad 'hero' was a disguise
Off at the end of the day

The way lips smiled as wide as the moon
I would approach your side
Opened up my walls for you
In return emotions continued to hide

Stare sautered into my memory
A nostalgic chill I can't shake
Begged and cried a tragic plea
I still drown in endless blue ache

Hope
Home
So far from my sight
I give up finding my way back
Cannot navigate without light
I spin circles around a track

In soul lie pieces of my trust
Promises we tread upon
They'll rest forever
Collecting dust
To you I'm already gone
I am tuckered out from being lost in the huge wilderness of my mind
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
Live a short while
Then say to me
Where you are your sight enjoys what it sees
Year after year passes
Doesn't seem so bad
Until you compare the good memories once had
Life seems to darken and get worse
Your road forks
Becomes a haunting curse
My love it does not matter the choice of your direction
Explore the world
Every road holds imperfection
In awhile you will discover if you haven't by now
Happiness more than Earth will allow
It doesn't really matter what you do because life ***** us all in the end
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
Everyone says
"Do whatever makes you happy"
Don't mention the cost of it though
You do not know the price until your choices
Come collect and tell you what you owe

In moments you don't realize
Consequences of what you do
Only after it's too late
You can see what would have been best for you

Some decisions too expensive
Until you get the bill you won't know
By then you can't go back and choose
Different directions to go

So bear in mind that every action
And mistake is a tattoo
No matter how costly our regrets
Every one we can never undo
An old one from 2017
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