Born in  romania, adopted to canada
Traumatizing experiences shape me
But they don’t shape me no more
As i walk  i walk alone
This is the ******* path that i choose
I had many a friends
But they did not mean anything to me
Honour
That is really important
Discpline
That makes life beautiful
But never too perfect
The victims if terrorism before me
I was a a victim of terrorism
A victim of war
But now i survive i am a survivor
The world needs more positivity
Less anger and hate
That is baggage think about the
Hope and love that needs to be spread amoung
Us all
Like butter on bread
Think twice before you speak
For it will be the last someone hears
Think twice before you act
For it will be the last someone see

Winter will soon slip into
spring, all dressed in
green; bouquet nights and
the rebirth of love.
Snakes gliding through
the grass.
But for now, we deal
with ice and snow,
slick roads and cold
hearts.

I was on the bus the
other day.
The driver had a
slippery scowl pasted
on her chubby face.
My mask had inched
down on my nose, and she
yelled, "Put your mask
on or you will be off the bus."

I was already having a terrible day.
My asthma was acting up,
I could hardly breathe, and I had
just put my beloved
dog to sleep.
I miss her, but she slipped
away peacefully.

I rang the bell to get off at
my stop, as I chewed my
gum in passive anger.
I stood up and walked toward
the front of the bus.
The aisle was slick from
the snow and ice.
As I neared the exit door,
I took the gum out of my
mouth, so that I could throw
it away, but things went
horribly awry.

I slipped on a wet
spot, and to catch
myself, I firmly planted
my gum hand on the back
of the driver's head.
She had short hair, but still,
the *** of gum was now
embedded in her golden
locks.
I'm sure a haircut is
her near future.

Since then, I intend
to tread softly and cautiously,
and just maybe,
she does too.

i anticipate a life long enough to see
the gentle withering of
my face in the mirror;
skin turning papery and thin,
hair flowing, silver silk—
for each wrinkle to hold a memory,
my body bowing to gravity, awaiting
peace with the earth.
this will be my prime
when i’ve loved fully,
lived kindly,
when i sing wisdom from my heart, and
my body is soft, delicate,
          just right for long hugs,
when my home is warm and full of tenderness
and swells with the laughter of the family i’ve collected
along the way—
mellow evenings around the hearth
reminiscing,
sweet cakes and tea—
love and softness—
days and days of stories unraveling like string
and weaving back together into the tapestry
of my life

Resurrection found from the water.
As the golden heart reemerges from the
purification.

Blood stream pumping my grace.
Water digesting my sin.
Confessions of my humanity.
Sharing fear, fare share of love, and
death itself.
I continue the cycle of health.
In each life, for the search of God, I resume
in stealth.

i have this dream of having a garden
a big strawberry garden
alone in a modern cozy cabin
with my three cats -- black, orange, and a mix of every color

wind breeze blowing inside my big windows
mesh pale white curtains dancing
ducks are swimming gracefully in the pond
the ding of the oven, smelling the freshly baked cinnamon bread

jazz music playing, wine glass in my hand
silk night gown touching my soft skin
swaying through the rhythm nonchalantly
breathing in clean vanilla perfume

as i've said, i have this dream of having a garden
a big strawberry garden
alone in a modern cozy cabin
i'm still dreaming...

Coming home to an empty and dark house—
It's cold but not unpleasant.
The cool tiles soothe your feet,
Aching from supporting the weight of bottled up thoughts the whole week.
Responsibilities loom in the background and you know it,
But the exhaustion is heaving on your hands.

You're ready to fill the house with a dimly lit light,
A mug of cold milk,
And some indie song of a band you've never heard of
Playing quietly in the background.

It smells like them, the memory of them.
You're alone tonight.

The notes slowly lull you into thoughts and feelings—
About what you were,
What it could've been,
What you did wrong,
What can and can't be fixed.

You think about life.
You think about change.
You think about love.
You think about depression.
You think about mistakes.
You think about the future.
You think about happiness.
As if the melody was meant for it.

You think about life.
You're so mad at it.
Why did I,
As someone who was once a child,
Have to go through all of that?
But you have to forgive it.
You can't give up.
Don't let it beat you down.
But I won't deny, the idea is tempting.

You think about change.
How you changed—
How the people around you reacted to it.
Did they change too?
Did they stay the same?
Did they leave,
Too afraid to see you morph into a new person?
Do you like who you became?
You can't know.

You think about love.
Will I ever be loved? you wonder.
Yes, I will, because I like to make myself feel better.
Too many people on this planet, there must be someone.
But will I ever meet them?
Will there be enough time?
You're too busy focusing on distractions to care.

You think about depression.
You're still here.
It was essential.
It made you a stronger version.
But was it necessary?
It destroyed you.
A part of you remains dead.

You think about mistakes.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
You mutter out a curse,
As the visceral sense of failure and frustration fill your stomach.
You feel anger rising up your throat,
And it stings.
But slowly, you start to see a pattern.
You understand.
No more mistakes.
But was that time, trying and failing, wasted?
Anyone could've gotten it at the first try.
The anger leaves a bitter taste on your tongue.

You think about the future.
Your idea of it changed so many times, growing up—
Fitting your current ideals every time.
But you're also scared.
You don't want it to come.
Can it be stopped?
Time is ticking endlessly,
And you feel that sense of doom
Breathing down your neck
And putting its full weight on your stomach
The more you think about it.

You think about happiness.
Laughing until your stomach hurts with your friends.
That strange feeling where you realize
Everything's gonna be okay
And it fills you with warmth.
Spending time with your family,
The smell of dinner lingering in the background—
Everything feels warm and small and safe.
You always want to be happy.
But would happiness exist without sadness?
There's no up without down.

You were happy.
But you were oblivious;
It could've been better,
But you grew and learned;
You did something terribly wrong.
But you regret it now, which means you understood;
You think you can fix others.
But you can't fix yourself.
Why do you do this?
You were never meant to try in the first place.

Do yourself a favor tonight.
Have a warm shower.
Drink some milk.
Put some indie music.
But do not, under any circumstances,
Think about life.

It has no sense anyway.
Don't try putting binaries on it.
They're never gonna fit.

Just live.
That's enough.
Let that be. Just tonight.

Love is more than words,
there may be tears
Love isn’t done in one night,
you work on it for years
It’s the little things you do,
to let them know you care
The hugs and the kisses,
locking eyes with loving stares
It may bring hard times,
when you only have each other
There will be the joy,
of knowing there is no other
Love is a flame,
you can’t let it go cold
You keep the spark alive,
so it never gets old
Love is those memories,
the kisses and the nights
It is two lives brought together,
bells, whistles, and flashing lights
Love is everything,
the journey may bring
The everlasting promise,
beyond the diamond ring
Make love in your heart,
for the one you love every day
Take the time, live your dreams,
so that love will always stay

9/20/25