To the gal who was always by my side
I say, thanks to you, I can almost stem the tide
You were there for me, in the good times and the bad
Even though it was the sixties, it was more than a passing fad
Those distant memories are still etched upon ones mind
For you have made me the man, that you know is so kind
A better person, than the one you never really knew before
So my utmost gratitude, to the gal who I’ll always adore

Don’t feel guilty, it’s not your job in life
Be yourself for me, for I’m the one in strife
I’m not scared of death, just the act of dying
So live your life, ‘cause there’s no use in lying
Back on the mountaintop, with a storm rolling in
We were sitting on the porch, so why not sing
The dark clouds are hovering, so let it be
Waking early every morning, saying, why not me

When I’m six feet under and the days are still golden
Remember it was my parents who got me enrolled in
No signature needed, just pay the balance, when it’s due
All I wanted was a simple life, even if it wasn’t brand new
Learned from elders, reminisced from the youth, nothing to lose
Mainly lived my life, in the here and now, walking in my shoes
Felt joy of love, ached pain of loss, add some envy and greed
Farewell my family and friends, your memories are all I need

today, I chose to unmake the memories
I untangled your hands from around my heart and set it back into my chest
this looks like forgetting but it’s not
it’s more than that
it’s erasing the lines of warmth I’ve penciled in over the hurt
I’ve stopped pouring sugar over the unsatisfaction
and started remembering us correctly
you see, I cannot recall myself stronger, less of a coward
when I was unwilling to rock a sinking boat
I must erase the imagined version of us where you knew exactly what I wanted
because I told you
the truth is, you cannot iron out the heartache without ruining the lies
it is impossible to handpick only the good memories
you cannot invent a fullness where there was something empty
so,
today, I chose to see the truth
to see all of our failures and shortcomings unredacted
and come out unscathed despite it

I remember this day pretty well.
I remember this was the day that I knew you were the best decision of my life.
That we did it.
That you were mine and I was yours.
I remember every time I kissed you felt especially magical that night.
I remember you waltzing out of the bathroom.
I remember I felt invincible.
Like anything could happen and nothing could break us.
Like we were flying through galaxies at the speed of light,
but time was still.
Your eyes, forever the perfect color.
Your laugh, forever my favorite memory. Chicken-chicken a hilarious late night.
Dancing in the kitchen to no music.
Walking down the street in the darkness.
Falling off scooters.
Riding one two many on one.
Telling me I have the body of a Goddess.
Making love all day, only to cuddle in between. No food needed. Just love. All day. Every day.

I’m sorry if I ruined it. But all I want Is so have it back.

I don't know
how painful
the candlewax feels
---or at least,
I can't remember
when my life started fading away
---or so I thought,
for I don't have a candle
to begin with.

I never went to the horizon or the lowlands
All I know about love is Orion's bow
The introductions and serendipitous exchanges
And my favor seeking friends and foes

I think I get it now
I can't even see the stars
Although there is no need to wonder
I am sure they are as bright they have always been
They are just hiding
Beyond my roof
And beyond the clouds
I doubt they will go anywhere anytime soon

Acceptance was my first lesson
I have never been one to meditate
Although somehow
My mind has brought me to an understanding
The light should not be rejected
For how else would a flower bloom
I think its sad how people trap them in their room
It is beautiful
How we live
And how we love
I hate hatred
And I often hate myself
But then I realise
That dwelling will get me nowhere

Another lesson I learned was about frustration
Not everything will come your way
From my experiences
I have gained friends
Lost friends
And sometimes lost myself
But even through all of that
I learned how important it is to never neglect yourself
If you only live for others
Then what will happen when they are gone?

I learned recently about taking initiative
Anxiety is the reason my nails are short
The reason why I shake my leg
And the reason why nobody else cares
Or at least that is what I used to think in my head
But over time it came to my mind
That I could not blame anxiety for all my problems
Life is cruel
But its probably not as cruel as I thought it was

My hardest lesson was not to dwell in my own dissatisfaction
Depression was the word I used to describe the void in my soul
I used to think that nothing could ever possibly get better
And that it was better to die young instead of dying of old age
The chemicals in my mind are still changing
So when I am feeling down
I always try to acknowledge that

Writing has been therapeutic for me
It has changed the way I view the world
For both good and bad
I have met people on here who have helped me on the darkest days
So I say to anyone in need
There are people on here who want to listen
I want to listen
Lets all try get through this mess o.o

I learned that
Happiness can be a thing

But this thing should not be...
Cannot be...
And will not be...

A person

Do you know the importance of teachers
That question is a lesson in itself
How do you learn to achieve wealth
Receive a doctorates or even a black belt

There’s a great teacher around
Great with a ball or maybe a wrench
There’s a great teacher around
Preparing great meals or building a fence

Like super heroes from distant planets
That come and save the day
Our heroes from the world of academia
Come and lead the way

Just for what you stand for alone
You should be forever bestowed in favor
Facing the most daunting task of taming & guiding the beast called human nature

Ode to those undervalued teachers
Who make education allure & dapple
You are revered by me and many others
With much love and many apples