my tears
they fall
until i crumble.

like that leaf
i picked up in the forest
and it just
crumbled in my hands.

i crumble
like that leaf.

i sat in the forest --
picking up leaves
and ripping them
in different ways,
different shapes
because everyone is different.

and they all break differently.

i picked a once green leaf
that was staring to brown
on the edges.

i ripped it
and it didn't break
slowly
like the others.

it just fell apart
in my hands.

but it made me look up at the
sunbeams
slipping between
the tall forest trees.

realising,
not everyone breaks slowly.

some people crumble and fall apart
all at once.

and that's okay.

i ultimately have decided to only make some very small tweaks to this just so it flows better. after reading and staring at this piece for  longer than i should have, i think it doesn't matter if i entirely missed the point i was trying to make. i think i got my feelings out and its okay that its a bit messy.

i sat in the forest --
picking up leaves
and ripping them
in different ways,
different shapes
because everyone is different.

and they all break differently.

i picked a once green leaf
that was staring to brown
on the edges.

i ripped it
and it didn't break
slowly
like the others.

it just fell apart
in my hands.

but it made me look up at the
sunbeams
slipping between
the tall forest trees.

realising,
not everyone breaks slowly.

some people crumble and fall apart
all at once.

and that's okay.

i think its okay to let your feelings out however you need. and thats a big thing of mine. letting our feelings out. i believe its something we should all encourage and do. we all crumble differently and you shouldn't be told to hide your true emotions. i reckon my thought process with this was all over the place, though the outcome ended up being better, even if i eventually decided to leave most of it as it was.

For a moment I thought
it was a butterfly,
the yellow and orange leaf
that took flight from the swishing poplar tree
across my balcony.

It swayed and fluttered in excitement –
here and there, up and down,
undecided if right or left,
to the ground or up to the sky –
Should I stay or should I go?

What to make of perceived options
when you lose your wings to know
that gravity always wins?
And ultimately to the ground
with or without wings.

growing and fall is all i do
stuck to the branch of this tree
i sway in the summer breeze
but by fall i have to leave

always arriving, always leaving
swaying in the summer breeze
i want to hold on for a bit longer,
but by fall i must leave

i yearn for an eternal summer
i yearn for winds like these
my whole life an act of letting go
because by fall i must leave

Oh to be a leaf
Blowing in the breeze
Going wherever the wind takes me

Oh to be a tree
Standing great and tall
With my head held high

Oh to be a bolt of lightning
Energetic and electrifying
Striking the ground with power

Oh to be a boulder
Big and strong
Never to be broken

Oh to be what I'm not
Because what I am
Isn't good enough

Between leaf and life
Wet ochre leaves bundled exit
Life was lived now gone