#introvert poems on Hello Poetry

b e mccomb Aug 2016

i would love
to leave the house.

walk downtown
in broad daylight
find a cute coffee shop
to haunt

(with my notebooks i'd never
notice any lack of internet connection)

stroll along the moonlit
shore
dip my toes in the water
off the dock

(the only thing i'll take
advice from is a lake)

read books
all afternoon
in the stilted quiet
of the public library

(perhaps pay off my longstanding
fine like a responsible adult)

go shopping for a
brand new skirt
worn once or twice
by someone else

(and i swear i would dance
in the rain until it was soaked)

find some kind of local
museum that nobody really
cares about and go look at
something antiquated

(or i suppose i could just stay
in the secondhand shop attic)

go into a music store and
play all my worst melodies
on their guitars and ukuleles
until they kicked me out

(the discomfort on the other patron's
faces would be worth the humiliation)

oh yes
i would love
to leave the house
and i would love
to do it
alone.

Copyright 3/18/16 by B. E. McComb

#lonely #alone #introvert #coffee #music #poetfreak

Tamara Fraser Aug 2016

The Physical Loneliness

I’m worried for you.

I’m worried about what I’ve done with you.

I’ve buried you in the sand, grazed your skin with fingernail cuts;

half moons pattern your arms and back like wallpaper.

I shouldn’t succumb to this.

I’ve dragged you into a pit and stored you in a hollow.

I shouldn’t need to pick a random lover, I shouldn’t need them now,

urgently.

I shouldn’t crave the physical I know you yearn from me behind the

silence

that snakes around the room.

Behind the intensity and firmness of your face.

I wish I didn’t see it all so keenly, a sensory power I dredge up

from secluded stores and hidden vaults.

I shouldn’t have fallen into my own snare every single time you

pull closer, warm breath and lips and teeth,

and I push your chest away.

I don’t understand why I have to do this.

Puppet pulled on strings to do strange and filthy acts;

gaining strength and poise not necessary but pleasurable,

lying with you knowing I’m with company but feeling so alone,

so cold and dusty and ***** on the inside.

I lose myself in a moment, spending all the time

thinking in the moment.

I’m so wrapped up, I don’t hear you mutter to relax.

I will not do this with you, because it means

ultimately hurting one another, in particular you.

I will not try to encourage you, because me lying next to you

knowing you will hand yourself over, is like slipping on ice.

I taste blood in my mouth.

I think it’s yours.

I bled out years ago, over the bedroom and into the bathroom;

showering off filth and wetness and ****** handprints.

That lingering, thick smell of sweat and fluid and nothing.

I’m so sorry I can’t be strong enough to resist my shadows,

my faded lights and creeping tongues;

I’m so sorry I set them on you, like vultures given

the scent of already culled meat.

I am your predator, hunting amongst the heaving animals,

long into the stillness of the empty dawn.

I’m so sorry, sweet, that I will reach around and take something from you.

I’m so sorry I tried to protect you and betrayed myself.

I wanted to embrace you and welcome how you felt in my arms,

I’m sorry I just couldn’t express it.

I wanted to make sure to uncomplicate us; secure that safety you felt

with me guiding you too all those vulnerable places to touch together,

I’m sorry I just couldn’t express it.

I still long to try again.

Will you let me try again?

#depression #anxiety #introvert #reflection #sexuality #experiences #loveandadventure #self-power #ineversaywhatineedto #oppositesasalways

Tamara Fraser Aug 2016

Lipstick Stains

You have a gift,

my lovely monster.

I get to own you in the dead hours of night,

all mine and rough and ravenous for pounding blood

and heated touches.

Words are putty in your claws,

my lovely shadow, chasing my body, so close.

They are malleable, leaky,

drizzling sweetness and love in sugary promises.

They crack apart when I reach to see if they are real.

Days are completed journeys, changing sides of your heart,

my lovely animal.

Softened heart melting in my fingers, wrapping my body one day

and bruised and brittle red glass leaving blood marks

painting crude patterns and ruptured brutal bursts on beaten skin.

She just doesn’t know how beautiful she is…
Through anything, I need to hear it, I need to be here…
You make me feel like I never have before…
I love you and I need you right now…

My body wants to wrap around you, when the shadows return

to rest along my lonely cold walls.

I devour your words, hungry and lustful, tempting,

the juice and hope of them leaves gloss on my lips.

I remind myself dazed and sleepily to lock your words in today’s box.

They can be shelved; raised and at once forgotten among the other

treasures you give me.

Each day is a new box my dearest monster.

I cradle and store your words like delicate porcelain,

only usable for one single day.

Only clean for one slim moment.

Right now I curl beneath you,

the smell of you stains my skin and littered clothes.

You breathe on me.

Your words are crashing noise; they ring and slice the air,

my head splits and my eyes weep salty remnants of your words.

Cleansed and rid of the filth you breathe into them,

your tongue that slithers through my parted lips, scorching my throat.

Your hands cold and threatening,

I can taste the dusty feelings you shed, like dead skin

flaking away its layers.

The words you mouth just spread ash around me, circles my body

like a dead hearth.

You never meant them.

They cover the frightening parts of you I can finally see-

Rip.

Seams exposed and blood making its slow passage to the floor.

I feel its sticky pool beneath me, my back lies wet and limp in your hand.

A husk bleeding out.

Lead me on and take what’s yours.

My heart. It hurts. It shrivels in the wake of your betrayal.

Stung and stopped,

you crawl off your prey.

Leaving it to be scavenged in the dark to come.

My lovely monster.

Come back.

#anxiety #relationships #introvert #reflection #mentalhealth #allthethingsyousay #dontalwaysbelievewhatissaid #wordsarejustwords #youmakemenervous

Tamara Fraser Aug 2016

An Open Lost Letter

Dear you;

I have tried,

so hard to paint my feelings out for you;

to relinquish those delicate flowers into the raging torrents.

I have always wanted,

you to understand what I do, is for you;

I don’t have to pretend I’m not falling into your fibres and strings.

I have craved your smiles,

to know they are for me, mine for you;

I frolic along with you, hands bound and the world a riot.

I have never wanted to cry for you,

to let myself feel something so large, trembling inside a shell for you;

to feel is also to know I can hurt, wounds and scars do show.

I always was excited by you,

what you could make me sing for, praise in you;

to feel the sudden rise of temperature, soar to new ecstasies.

I have never known that I could predict words for you,

being able to moan and shape them from my tongue;

I know what they are, before you growl them out and

bite me

with those sharped teeth

and I collapse with them

buried deep within,

my head, arms, legs and in between.

Yet, there are things I have always wanted to say to you.

Things locked away, deep;

bottled and barrelled in caverns and crooks.

I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to voice them.

You make me nervous. You don’t help me wrap my tongue around them.

But maybe it’s simply me; I blunder through it all, you know me well.

I have to tell you that I’m sorry we will never be able to know

exactly who we are, together or separate;

there is no one who knows another person so intimately.

We are lovers, but I will never truly know your body like you do;

and for that I only wish to speak in answers.

Never questions.

Or I’ll be haunted by their coldness.

Take care. I love you.

At the same time I’ve already begun to miss you.

Me.

#anxiety #relationships #introvert #reflection #lostforwords #makingmoves #istumbleonwords #iwishyouwouldunderstand

Tamara Fraser Aug 2016

I'm Your Wallflower

Voices weave words around and behind me,

softly burying me in whispers and whims.

I’m a wallflower, pressed and trimmed inside

the neat frame you placed on me.

Cool, clean, crisp and curt,

I belong shrinking from the light, so you clearly say.

Clinging to the shadows covering the walls,

I have a voice but I only long for you to hear it.

Fanciful freedom lost on summer breezes,

fine lines drawn on hidden walls.

I’m the flower that blooms in the shade, in the night,

whilst you frolic and fade away.

Hiding hurt and shying from prying eyes,

huddled, hastened to escape the trickling lights.

You back against the wall, folding into me,

you can tell something weeps behind you, but

you just can’t see the petals.

Languid, lost and lonely beneath the silence,

I lurk in wait for your eyes to spy mine.

I linger over words unspoken, shared through time lapsed

between you and me,

I’m your wallflower, forever more.

I long to be over you.

I long to make you hear my voice.

But I don’t know how to press out from the wall,

to make you see my blossoms against such a wall so tall.

I ache to hear words spoken,

even lost in the static air between us.

I need to hear you notice me breathing, me whispering

sweet notes in your ear.

I long to feel touch, to know warmth and craving,

I’m in dire need of you, so please, just notice me.

I long to tell you of the tears I spilt for you,

that you didn’t notice on your shoulder, that you never see.

I am so tired of being quiet,

I have words to whisper but I can only be so hushed.

I need to tell you I’ve been there for you from the start,

but trodden and paled and left in the dust.

Everyone sighs over you.

Everyone mouthes and soothes and steals your gaze,

but I’m the one you press against for safety,

I’m the one you seek in you winding maze.

You don’t know it yet, but I know in time you’ll see.

It truly is, me.

#anxiety #introvert #experiences #wallflower #allthethingsineedtotellyou #pleasenoticeme #voicelocked

SassyJ Jul 2016

Lone-wolf She

She is preserved at the greenery
fading inside the floating yellows
her mellow as the sun set strikes
face wondering on the future mirror

She longs to encase inside her cocoon
unhurt the pain pierced in her ribcage
the spent morrow of blunt perceptions
wavering the chronic deserted day

She is alone in a world of within
without the touch of the yester clouds*
the tremor of her upset is unreliable
watering the chronic ail she donned

She feels the crystal pain on the dial
rails of entrust and forgotten tense
the troubles of the self sacrifice travellers
trespassing ***** gates of wired shield

She knows when her well is overfilled
finding a self that can embrace life
the compromised placid meanders
flowing the alive esse of a today

She moans of eons undignified
trying to excavate her sinking soul
the one that made her feel like she
revealing the reality of her unusual peace

She jumps like a seasonal seesaw
illusions parading the absolute truce
a muse of delicate authentic flavours
transversing the idealised time and space

She knows herself best when isolated
when the moon sinks and the night draw
when vagaries explode in the chaotic skies
*when the pearl starry sun stares in her iris

#introvert #soul #isolated #illusion #creativity

J B Moore Jul 2016

Opening up

I've never been good at opening up
In fact only one has ever really gotten me to
But she's no longer here, she has gone away
Leaving me behind to feel so afraid.

I'm a thinker in mind and a writer at heart
A lover and a fighter which can tear me apart
I'll fight for the one I love, I'll never let her go
If I could just find her so she could just know.

I don't like opening up, in fact it's very hard
I start to get defensive, I want to run far,
I feel a little barbaric like a rampant ape,
Who only wants to have the chance of a great escape.

If I do open up I'm afraid of what you'll find.
It's a mysterious place, this thing we call my mind,
Filled with a wild and crazy imagination,
Bizzarre concoctions of my own creation.

I do love creating a world of my own,
Where I can make everyone happy and never be alone.
But this can never happen, at least not in this life,
Just look around at all the people suffering in strife.

I want to help them, the mute crying out,
"I can hear you" I want to say but then I find doubt,
What if they don't want me, what if I'm no good,
I feel the want to help, now if only I would.

But that would require something from me I don't possess,
A great self-confidence especially when under stress.
I have found that under pressure I can work well,
Though not until it's over can I ever really tell.

The problem I have with letting others look inside,
Is that I've gotten so good at wanting to hide
I've fooled myself into thinking I'm strange
And fearing every attempt I make at change.

Oh and change is deffinitely by far the worst
It is the thing which I was afraid of first.
But of course I know the strengths that come from it
Then again, if it was that simple I'd have already done it.

I guess the problem with opening up,
with saying who I am,
Is what if they don't like me?
What if they don't want to understand?

I can be so confusing, I barely know myself,
I sometimes have to ask someone else for help,
Of course that's not my choice but only when they ask
And only ever then do I dare take off my mask.

Maybe that's the missing link I've been looking for,
Maybe that's the key to opening my door.
A key that I can never turn by myself,
Maybe the door will only open if opened by someone else.

8/22/14

#introvert #mask #me #open #infp #mbti

Ignatius Hosiana Jul 2016

Who Will Remember?

"Being an introvert in an extroverted
world can absolutely be difficult."
Came across this on some blog.
Think it's more complex to be a mediocre, an extro-intro or an intro-extro...
you can't go all out... you won't remain all in...
you're doomed to be in the twixt. Yet the middle is dangerous...
The middle of the Ocean is the deepest, the middle
of the jungle is the riskiest... the middle of the garden
of Eden doomed an entire race...
for its existence... no driver would drive freely in the middle lane,
most run to the climbing lane soon as they see it.
Some say the Earth is trapped between Heaven and Hell...
maybe we're a compound of Paradisal elements and
the rumbles of the Hades...
the pawns in the Chess between God and Satan, the Jobs in the bible of now...
I'm a Junk of all trades & I'm afraid being in between trades makes me a master of non...
I know too much and yet I know nothing... I am an extro-intro...
I go out only until the plank starts to swing the other way...
I go out until I sense the cold and quickly run back to the lukewarm
betwixt for the hot is as fatal to my kind as the cold.
Am not an Author and neither am I a poet... Am a "Poether'' or an "Auoet", Am not philosophical neither am I Theological...am "philological" or "Theolophical".
I'm trapped at the equator... I'm neither an Eskimo nor an "Antactico"...
Not Ugandan nor Kenyan... Tanzania can't claim me
but there's yet to be a concrete East African...
maybe I'm African.
My point is some people think the middle is safe...
but I believe different. it's my opinion if you want to be a piglet be one,
if you want to be a puppy be a puppy for its fatal to be a Pipet or puppet...
both are instruments... even their use is similar.
My tragedy is am in between, am a mediocre, a pother,
an opssimist, a philothopher, a ctranger or say "Ukantan".
I'm just there... Don't be caught in my place...
find a place to belong... no matter how dangerous and risky...
always choose where you lie...always strive hard to find a prowess...
Go past the lines for History remembers those who are unique...
whether for the worst or the best.
Be the last if you can't be the first...
*Everyone will remember Mabirizi for he knew how to be the last...
And sadly everyone will remember Museveni for he's good at keeping his place.
Who will remember the one in between.
Who will remember Besigye? Who will remember the servant boy that
cautioned Achilles against fighting the Thessalonian?
Who will remember me?

#introvert #philosophy #fate #history #lonesome #extrovert #theology #philosopher #theological

Alaska Jul 2016

Shattering Crown

I feel like I'm dreaming
Even though I'm wide awake
I hear somebody screaming,
I'm losing myself.

Some leaves are rustling in my ears,
The others crunch beneath my feet,
My head is filled with fears,
I hear a strange sound
I realise - it's my heartbeat.

A stitch in my wound,
A knock in my back,
I manage to sit down
When everything turns black
As I hear the shattering of my crown.

#fear #social #anxiety #introvert #panic #attack #shy #derealization #dissociation #depersonalization

C Jul 2016

Family gathering

Dress up, small talk, smile pleasantly,
Sea of faces, people you hardly ever meet
Smirk and tell me I've changed so much,
Well, of course. You never bothered to keep in touch.

As an introvert,
it's actually exhausting for me.
All I want to do is run away
back to my lonely room,
I don't hate people,
I just can't keep up with the small talk.

A seperate bubble
segregates me, detached from the world of social pleasantries.
I am not shy or diffident,
I am just an introvert, comfortable with my inner environment.

What I have thought over and over in my head, what I have put into words in my little pocket diary, what is simple and crystal clear to me in solitude; totally gets muddled up in social situations.

Solitude is my peace. I take time to get comfortable around someone.

-Hello there.
-How are you?
-Nice. I left my phone in my room. I'll go get it.
(hurries by)

Mum: Are you hiding? They won't bite you, you know?
(sigh)

Introvert in an extroverted world. I get lectures on depression, public speaking, "confidence-boosters" etcetera.

#introvert #socialgatherings