What am I to write about
At this time, I could only think about
Nothing more and nothing less
About you who fill me with zest

Themes from above
Inline with the divine
A sea of pure information
We are but processes through time
Which is relevant
for stages of development

Clear through the chaos
Write down a desire
Words bind and magick works
Form your own sigil
Things will happen to inspire

On the days I don't know what to write,
I write about not knowing what to write.
Each word rattling, wanting to play
But I fear my original thoughts are cliche.
The inspirational quote I wrote, feeling powerful,
As I put it down, just felt so dull and bland.
Full poems, pulling at my heart
Disappear into that nowhere land
Like sands sifting from an hourglass
Onto the beach, blending back.

I painted landscapes in a moment
Pouring water, after, over the canvas
I couldn't stand to see myself portrayed generically.
As the brush had hit the fabric,
I believed this was my vision and I owned it.
The colors flowing out had shown
A piece to this world I called "unknown".

Thinking on all those almost created,
I wish I kept them, maybe,
My future self would have found one amazing,
Maybe someone would have related.

I fancy fear
It challenges me
I like challenges
It takes out the real me
The real me...
It gives me confidence

And then I'm no more limited
I'm no more demure

Then I can even ask fear
That..
"FEAR WHO YOU ARE?"

I think I can take it
I've been training
So I'm prepared
And here I am like I don't care

First position

I'm in the wrong
I'm in the right
I'm in the middle, I put up a fight
I start to panic
The mind of my kind serves as a magnet
Fixated on a symptom vs habit
They can all have at it
I'll be back at it, soon enough
I act all big like no big deal
But then I remember this is really real

First position

I start to forget who I am
I start to forget who I've been
I've become obsessed
When I can't let go
When I can't put matters to rest
Then there comes a time when you don't want to be saved
Setting yourself up to dig your own grave

First position

I think I can take it
I think I could fake it
to prove how strong I really am
But I'm backed right back into the corner
Manifesting into disorder
It's catching up with me

First position

I think I can take it
If i can manage to face it
But I try to stop it
I try to block it out

First position

I looked outside in the wintertime
When I noticed the trees
They look so frail
without their leaves
Kind of like me
When I just want to feel better
Like when randomly warm weather
airs out a cold day in December

They keep me sheltered
They weigh me down so thin
As if I've only got months, weeks to live
As if I'm that fragile
Like it's that much of a battle
Maybe that's why I'm miserable; panic-stricken
So while I wait for myself to thicken
First position

The longer I lay here
I can feel it
It makes my skin crawl
And I feel sick
With background noises
Back and forth, stuck, “tick, tock, tick ..”

I’m beginning to lose it
The life I'm choosing
A battle I’ve grown comfortable losing

The longer I lay here
I can feel it

My heart starts sinking, and sinking
Never a thought to what I was thinking
The noises ring closer and closer, faster and faster
I grew into such a disaster
Without sense of control
Or what I seem to be going after

Plagued

I’m like a cat
So spare me nine lives
Vexation kills me, though I’ve never died

The longer I lay here
I can feel it
And I just can’t stand the noise
It’s a ringing, buzzing, right in my ear
The longer I lay here
Those sounds of my pulse racing, my heart beating
Have their own method of teaching

Looks like I’ll be here a while
Brings the bearer of bad news
In addition to the disorderly blues
Haven’t looked in the mirror
But there’s no need
Their expressions towards my honesty
Is quite enough for me

There’s a pulse beneath my skin
As I feel it growing thicker
I’m coming to, quicker and quicker
Voices carry outside, and I can feel their eyes
With their shadows passing by

Humiliated

Once too dark, now too bright
It’s quite clear
The longer I lay here
Give me something I deserve
The longer I lay here
Lesson learned