writing is what keeps me sane.
I keep fighting these unfair games with my brain
the commotion in my head so loud I can barely think straight
sleepless nights and empty walls
my mind is an endless hall
chaos, madness, hurricanes
I can't seem to turn away
maybe I'm the one to blame.

I can't read a book, or write a single song,
I can't seem to think straight anymore.

Feeling sorry for myself just cos I don't have you,
It happens to be the only thing that I ever do.
I know I won't have you ever in this lifetime,
Yet it doesn't stop me from wishing you were mine.
I try to plot how we're going to meet and fall in love,
but then I slump back in my bed, already had enough.

These thoughts of you, they plague my mind,
and no matter how hard I try,
You're still in my brain,
Think I'm going insane,
I am madly, sadly, badly in love.

Literally sat here laughing at my own insanity

I think I’m just along for the ride at this point

From my view, while side eyeing beyond the periphery
I basically see a place that's not a place anybody would actually choose to be
But when it's the landscape of your own psyche
It's hard to see any way out of the intensity that will always accompany insanity
And no one can hear your inner voice plea for much needed mercy
Begging yourself to set yourself free
But this inescapable captivity is your eternity
But it just occurred to me,
I can't tell if this is free will or destiny...
Did I choose to fall slowly?
Maybe I decided to come undone gradually
Or did some higher power think this was best for me?
Either way's bad news for my trajectory  
Zero possibly of a redemption story
No guts
No glory
Just constantly repeating "sorry"

©2024

I would rather sit in front of you than my vanity. Even though loving you makes me question my sanity.