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Ellowyn Rose Feb 2019
Dear society,

I’m mad at you. Your lies, the images of “ideal” vandalized in everyone’s mind, driving them to cut shapes in their skin and end themselves. I’m mad because we were given the gift of difference, the gift of a mind possibly like no other. I’m mad because we did everything wrong with gift. The animal in us still wants to get to the top, the very top of the line because that’s how we survive. By making ourselves stand out. We killed each other and made our families watch. We cut through those who denied our presence with blades and stones. We never once thought about peace. Or maybe we did, but the screaming in society, the dominant voice that led us into self destruction has trampled over the little gleam of hope. I wish I could just be mad at you, but I’m not. I’m mad at myself, because I tell myself I hate that image that every girl follows, I hate that promise society makes that if we use this, our lives will get better. But I still follow that stupid image. I fall for every promise society makes even though it doesn’t know what it’s doing. It’s hard to say we’ve gotten over that image, because we still want to get to the top of the line like everyone else. We take pills to forget who we’re mad at. We take the knife in our hands to distract us from what we so desperately need to pay attention to. We flourish in our dark bedroom, because the cold floor is used to our weight and the ceiling is used to catching our anger as it rises above us and takes over. We’re still following that light whether we like it or not. Why in a world so advanced, smart, emotional, delicate and indestructible are we so blind to what is ruining us altogether? Not by war, not by bullets, but by that image that we look up to. By that artificial light that drives us to **** each other. By a world so driven to getting to the top, that we fall trying to get there.
Abbigale Dec 2018
My head is a pub

My thoughts, the chain-smokers
Clouding my mind and vision
With fumes of false perception

My emotions, the drunkards
They stagger from one wall to another
Wreak the most havoc

Together, they rage a war with my sanity
Destroying my pub's peace

And there is the blaring music,
sounding from an overhead television
A voice convincing me,
I am rotten to the core
As I sink to the floor
And tears well up my eyes
And my soul melts

I had a meltdown again, Mum...
Late night sad boy hours
**I never actually post here much tbh
mars Apr 2018
uppers, downers
something to make me feel.
pop a pill and then this world feels so surreal.
smoke a bowl,
and my problems are gone with the smoke.
give me something strong
something that will make me choke.
my life is a joke.
and I'm trynna get through it,
but i can only depend on substances that are therapeutic.
depresseddepresseddepressed
f ł ø w ë r Apr 2018
i need someone
that i trust
to lean on and hold me
make it all go away
make the bad days seem good just by smiling and saying
'hi' or by hugging me
i feel like they've all just..
left
distanced themselves away because I'm just a ******* mess
a clingy
annoying
mess
that needs someone just to stay stable
that isn't normal is it?
no
it's unhealthy
lol i hate myself
Undone Apr 2018
I walked to school today

Knowing I cried myself to sleep last night

Knowing no one knew

Knowing that was my power that I owned over everyone else
Spooky Babe Mar 2018
I don’t know when this all happened
I didn’t know I wasn’t truly being me
Apparently it’s been going on for awhile
Or maybe I always knew subconsciously

I don’t know why after all this time
I still get butterflies when I look at you
At first glance that sounds cute and charming
But it’s preventing me from doing what I want to do

I often compare myself to other girls
who would never possess a piteous trait
Constantly beating myself up inside
Knowing I’m the reason we can’t date

What I long for isn’t a relationship
It’s knowing that our souls are entwined
You know me like the back of your hand
And I know you like the back of mine
03/01/18
Things aren’t the same am I to blame?
Melili Nov 2017
To my brain: "It's sad when the person who mean a lot to you is now becoming a stranger in you life."
Friends and heart: "Try to talk to him, try to fix your mistake, try to tell him what you feel for them, try everything to not let them go."
Me: " I did try, but nothing works. Everything it goes wrong."
This is for my beloved one. He leave me because I was not good for him, but at least let be friends. We now don't talk a single hi. I don't know what to do. Tell me what should i do. Should i let go?
Melili Nov 2017
I hate myself
by hurting the person that i love,
by making a mistake without knowing.
Do I deserve that person?
I think, I didn't love him
the way that he loved me.
From my heart, my words, my feelings. Answer me: Do I deserve you?
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