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Unyielding, raging pride and spite,
A death-grip on dignity,
The indomitable will
To get off his knees and
Punch anyone who touched him
Because it hurt to move.
I get it. I've felt that grief.
So I looked him in the eye and said;
You want to fight?
Fight the floor. Fight gravity.
Get up. I know you can
Because everyone cries,
Everyone ****** themselves,
Swears and sweats and
Lashes out in panic.
That's okay. I've seen worse.
Grab my hand, don't let go.
You're going to fight gravity
And you're going to win.
How to convince a patient to let you help them off the floor
From haunted halls, where ghosts’ creeps,
A Queen sits silent, with the secrets she keeps,
Once fair of face, a Princess beauty & bright,
Now cold and hard, consumed by anger that can ignite.

Her heart once pure, now turned to ice,
A foolish young beauty, paying the price,
Betrayed by a man’s love, a cruel deceit,
Her innocence lost, bitter & ever so sweet.

He made vows, beneath both the stars & the sun,
But each of his promises were broken, one by one,
His gentle words of love, nothing but a wicked lie,
Now distant forever in each cold, dark eye.

His treachery struck, a fatal blow,
Leaving her heart, weeping & filled with woe,
Her trust betrayed, her heart & spirit torn,
Never to be touched by love, she forever sworn.

Now on a throne, where hate has started to stain,
She rules her poor kingdom, in endless pain,
Her gaze, like ice, a freezing chill,
Over-taxing her people, bending them to her will.

She lives in the dark despair,
Her bitterness can be seen in her devoid stare,
Beware, gentle hearts, of love turned to hate,
For love can be treacherous & can change your fate.

She will forever be the only one to sit on the throne,
With a crown made of thorns & a heart made of stone,
Once a garden where the Princess’s roses had bloomed,
Now they are all withered, dried up & dead, eternally doomed.

In the realm where deceit, lies & betrayal are spun,
when she enters a room, all just try to run,
The naive Princess is gone, now a Queen who will never yield
Perpetually bitter & broken, a Queen that will never be healed.
I hope you enjoy
let it hurt
but also
let it be real
because how do i
grieve, heal
from something
that never existed
in the first place.
Feep 3d
fix
I sat across from a lady today.
She looked tired—
not sleepy tired, but tired.
Tired of life,
tired of chasing a drug
that just ends up ******* you over in the end.
Tired of the chase,
waking up every morning
just to figure out how to get the next fix.

She smiled and laughed,
but you could hear the pain when she talked.
*****, drugged, sold her body—
all the things she endured
just because she needed a fix.

Today, she said she wanted out of the lifestyle.
She talked about her previous clean time.
She wants inpatient,
but everyone is telling her it’s a waste.
My heart hurts
because I fear she may believe them.

I reminded her she was beautiful,
that she still had so much life left to live.

She sat quietly,
counting change out of her purse.
When asked what she needed,
she shrugged and said,
“I need my next fix.”
if you find yourself addicted to a drugs. get help.
The bigger my heart,
the greater I hurt.

The more open my mind
the deeper I think.

The greater my reach
the more I need grounding.

------------------

The older I get
the more I listen.

The more I listen
the keener my hearing.

The more I hear
the harder I weep.
a poem from 2019 - worth reminding myself
Well…

You heard the news, that I was finally falling
out of love — I must have forgotten your touch;
and I know it really *****, that you heard the
news from somebody else; her I’ll never love.

And have you ever kissed that taste of sweet sin;
I know I said we'd be lovers ever since we were kids,
but looking in the mirror now — I'm definitely not him!

Men go chasing after wet waters; my chasing gave
you running tears – I made you feel like a princess,
but never settled on making you, my queen.

I'm sorry for being a *******!
San 5d
I wish I was a robot with no feelings in my heart,
I wouldn’t worry about comments piercing me like a dart.

Those times when I don’t understand what I feel,
My eyes cloud with tears and my knees kneel.

When my world turns dark and there’s no one around,
The only place my body surrenders is the ground.

All these emotions haunting my spirit to seal,
I have no hope and forget to heal.

I wish I could be strong and have a new start,
I wish I was a robot with no feelings in my heart.
1: when i was 4 i was a model. my mom starved me for a lot of that time. i quit when i was 5.

2: when i want to cut myself, i make myself read three books.

3: im hyperlexic. ive been reading since i was 3 1/2.

4: i have osdd 1-B but us "I/Me/Myself" for things so people dont get weird about it.

5: i love music

6: my family has 5 generations of teen pregnancy by ****.

7: my bio grandma was shot at 15 after having my mom.

8: ive been stabbed 3 times.

9: my dad fed me **** gummies on accident one time.

10: im using a kindle to write this. yes a kindle. black and white. meant only for books.
fun facts i guess
just one more time
then we can stop
pick up the blade
watch as it drops
two or three couldnt hurt
drip drip drip
just a few more
****
too many
how can i hide it?
drip
drip
just wear hoodies and thick pants
stop itching at it
im so tired
did she see it?
just one more time
just two or three more
drip
hide it
itchy
they know
one more
drip
itchy
hide
help
one
more
time

drip drip drip

"huh? no im ok! my cats are vicious this time of year."
the vicious cycle of self harm addiction and the consequences
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