Dot Spotted
(a limerick for children of all ages)
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a leopardess, Dot,
who indignantly answered: "I'll not!"
"The gents are impressed
with the way that I'm dressed.
I wouldn't change even one spot!"

Keywords/Tags: limerick, light verse, nonsense verse, humor, humorous, animals, nature, leopard, leopardess, change spots, spot, dot, spotted, dress, dressed, love, attraction, children's verse, kids

The Dromedary or Stage Craft-y
(a limerick for children of all ages)
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a dromedary
who befriended a crafty canary.
Budgie said, “You can’t sing,
but here’s the thing:
just think of the tunes you can carry!”



Ballade of the Bicameral Camel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a camel who loved to ****.
Please get your lewd minds out of their slump!
He loved to give RIDES on his large, lordly lump!

Keywords/Tags: limerick, light verse, nonsense verse, humor, humorous, animals, nature, dromedary, canary, camel, ****, lump, ride, rides, craft, crafty, craftiness, music, tunes, sing, singing, carry a tune, duet

The Mallard
(a limerick for adults, teens and older children)
by Michael R. Burch

The mallard is a fellow
whose lips are long and yellow
with which he, honking, kisses
his *****, boisterous mistress;
my pond’s their loud bordello!

Keywords/Tags: limerick, light verse, nonsense verse, humor, humorous, animals, nature, ducks, love, ***, desire, passion, Lothario, mistress, noise, copulation, doing it

I've worked with him for a few years now.

I said something the other day that made him laugh.
I can't even remember what I’d said
but he laughed so hard
his false teeth jumped out.

I laughed so much
I had tears running down my face.

I didn't even know he had false teeth.

Please don't scare me papa, i am but a humble man.  Why my end had to be an axe, i don't understand. A decent life and a beautiful wife, never lived in dread.Until you papa came that night and slaughtered us in bed.
Please don't scare me papa, me or my mistress too.Wound up with a hatchet to the temple, and it is all thanks to you.Later on my mistress thought that i was you.Though i may have been a bit odd dear papa, i wouldn't be such a fool.
Please don't scare me papa, i ain't got no grief with you.Just a pregnant woman you tried to slay, but you failed to do.
Oh please don't scare us papa, New Orleans is wide awake.That night you wanted Jazz to play, is that what it will take?Well then that dreary night, no one will be in their beds.So swing to the music dear papa, instead of swinging heads.

I only wish not to be fat, so food do not riot!
I don't want to see such fats in my diet
Being healthy and striving for years
I doubt it will happen, For I already saw a lot of it this new year.

You remind me of a ****** eraser.
I don't mean ******* the outside
and soft on the inside.
No.
I mean frustrating to deal with,
not worth the effort,
and you leave a dark mark
in your wake.

You remind me of a bad cup of coffee.
No, no, not bitter, that's all me.
But you? You're
stale,
like I should have
poured you down the drain
instead of consuming you,
hoping you'll improve my day.

You remind me of a Beach Boys song.
Not because I want to take you
anywhere near the Florida Keys--
ugh--
Because for the love of
******* God,
no matter what I do,
I can't seem to get you out of my head.

"Having turned the machinery of the Gov't into
a corrupt process of getting bad press made on
his political opponents, the Bidens, by buying
false investigations on them by multiple Gov'ts,
must be impeached, now", say Dems, the people.

The impeachment investigation has received much
evidence to support it, yet, Rumputin/vlad-
the-impaler, who were illegally installed into
the Blackhouse after the 2016 election, are
stonewalling numerous other subpeonas, requests.

People have seen evidence of Donald's demanding
false investigations of the Bidens be started by
the Ukrainian President in exchange for already
allocated by Congress 1/2 a bill in anti-tank
'javelins', but not the unreturned voicemails

detailing his desires for the same 'quid pro quo'
by him to other nations, here's some.  The Donald,
'Hi President of Ghana, I've heard you have some
hellified kool-aid, if you investigate the Bidens
we'll buy 100's of tons, awaiting your call.'

'Yo, yo, yo, President of Liechtenstein, just
calling to let you know if you liechten the Bidens
and find some dirt on them, we'll buy a hundred gross
of your steins, this is time sensitive, top secret,
so get back to us a.s.a.p., pppppllllleeeeeaaassse?'

''Sup, President of Guyana, must be hot in Africa,
too bad for you, all kidding aside, I hear you guys
have the best kool-aid to die for, if you investigate
the Bidens and find dirt on them we'll buy 1/4 of a
bill worth.  Limited time offer, bro, sooooo holla.'

'President of Hungary, I've heard you guys are always
Hungary, so, if you want a 1000 tons of food 'b' alls you
have to do is investigate the Bidens, find dirt on them
and provide it to the Steve Bannon set-up Hungarian fox
news who'll broadcast it globally over the next year.'

The atrocities of it all is all the people can say.  Does
this feel like a Greek comedy/tragedy to anyone else?  A
quickie impeachment to cover-up the bigger Russiagate one
that indicts the whole of the republican conspiracy, just in
time for vlad, etc., to hack our next presidential election?