Awake against the air.
Living in languishing lies of life

Existing outside their realms
These beached whales crave the waves

Watching from sleep stolen tears
These floating faces move without me

Without a wink, time slips by
Dazed in a dream of doubt

Where does the reality begin
And tragic nightrealms end

Deepest desires for lost love
Burn against the raging rain

Burn me alive,
End it all now,

I’m tired of the world,
I want to crawl back into my shell,

Of ignorance and bliss,
Before feeling overcame everything,
And my mind could manage and stall,

The unending dread,
The unending pain,
That recycles through my body,
And mental membrane,

Temporary relief,
Doesn’t last long,
Seeping into my bones,
Polluting my core,

Essence,
Lack of presence,
Take me away,
Bury me down low,

Erase me from existence,
Free from my soul.

At God's doorstep asking for forgiveness,
Asking for help really.
Lost somewhere and could not be found,
I am still searching for myself, in past, the present, future.
Don't really know, or have no plans,
Among thousand of islands the stranded one I am not.
I am at the doorstep of the God.

a week has passed and since then,
my love for you found refuge in my close friend's list
-settled for knowing that you saw it,
saw me, perhaps, even through me.
-settled for knowing that you,
are there for me.

-settled, for knowing you.

Your presence is awfully comforting
Yet you leave me with shivers
tickling my spine
And goosebumps
prickling my skin.
You feel so near, right next to me,
But when I reach out
You disappear.

Your figure is just a silhouette,
maybe blue, brown, perhaps green or even grey,
could the eyes be that captivate me from miles away.
You still seem so close.

I'm full of emotions that make no sense, not even on a blank page
Full of ink splotches
and salty blue blotches.
When I wish to tell you how I feel, I mumble
Until all at once my jumbled words fumble
and fall into a pile at your feet.
Which you blankly stare at, before walking away.

You'd think there would be a number of how many times a heart could shatter
over petty things
Before it would learn to hold itself together longer,
to be stronger,
or at least you'd think that it wouldn't hurt as much when it falls apart again.

I thought people said that love could make you feel alive.
But being in love has only been an ocean full of waves which have crashed over me far too many times,
Until all my color has faded,
Washing away the childhood spark that once gleamed in my eyes.
Until all that's left is a shell of the girl I used to be,
A smile still drawn
on my blue lips
that were still waiting for your ghostly kiss.

But nobody sees my efforts, you don't hear my cries
that I muffle with "it's okay" and other shallow lies.
I know you ignore me
when you say you adore me
And I know I implore you,
when it's my bad I fell for you.
I'll continue to pontificate
on a dreadfully pathetic page
until I surely suffocate
in the mound of poems I create
which are riddled with your name.

But it's my fault.
For I fell in love with a ghost. Like I always do.
And he left me behind, like they always seem to.