Oh bit definitely.
For the *****.
Would love to.
Ask her out?
Oh, so very, very much.
in my bed you're like a ghost
you turn to smoke
not so sure i'll ever see you again
maybe in a nightmare or so
not the best but aggressive enough
to remind you of how your mother
would taunt and spit at you
no afterglow between us
but trust me it's normal
i'm glacier and snow
distance and confusion elegantly composed
not saying you're the sun
because i know i pierce everything i touch
you may be a failure and a slob like me
but at least you're confident and sociable
and you instigate that
my size and girth make up for my height
well isn't that good news
lightning tears through gravel
light beams of purple wire
thick slabs of cement and dirt
you shower in an eclipse of blood
and before we leave
you **** me off in the hallway
picture frames of you in catholic school
rattling along the back of my neck
your dying grandfather snoring
your mouth slurping and swallowing
drop me off at the train stop
after storm clouds rain and cicadas reign
rusted bridges bury the path
with the calm bleak stillness in the air
by then i'll have forgotten you
knowing that you've erased me as well
You finally roll over,
after downing the remainder
of the wine you said you’d share with me
and lay the bottle to rest
beside the bed, in a graveyard of clutter
I periodically nag you to tidy up
I can finally assure myself
with more than tenuous trust
that you will not confirm
your gazing over my shoulder
at my laptop screen
with that irritating ******* chuckle
when you see whatever I’m
privately trying to enjoy for myself
now it would make more sense
that I’m doing anything
other than typing, typing
furiously about how I can’t articulate
why I’ve admitted you
into my bed. Why
we mutually burn through seasons
of wasted time on Netflix, and
instinctively, someone’s head
falls within the soft hollow
of another’s shoulder, yet I cringe
the moment you reach over
to make the embrace
when the remnants
of the drunken, desperate stumbling
to my then celibate bed
what we can’t seem to finish
have long dissipated, do we
insist on carrying our dead within us
once you turn back and see me,
do you retreat to the living room
to strum hopelessly on the
Les Paul you spent too much money on
and had shipped to my apartment
because you barely spend any time at yours,
as I type this
groggy and reaching
for what’s as reachable as mist
with only a room
between us, separately
we decode the repercussions
of being haphazard nomads
People don't fall in love with the death they see in me
They just notice the glimmers of life left in me
I like to run away from their love because
Everything that is around me goes madder then the hatter
I try to save them all from myself, from the monster in me
But tonight I am all alone and I need someone who isn't friendzoned
I lay in my bed, dead thoughts float in the deep water in my head
I would love to have a lover or two who know just what to do
But an undead lover is hard to find, they don't make them anymore
And I certainly don't want a human manwhore to come knocking at my door
So here I lay hating all that is alive and wishing even more of me were dead inside
I run all throughout the day, from the sunlight I try to get away
For the sun shows off my morgue styled scars and the blueness of my skin
But at night no body knows, no one gets who I actually am
I dress to impress and wear perfume to mask the rotting smell of my breath
No one seems to care that the putrid smell lingers everywhere
She gets in another guys car
She talks a lot
She knows he isn't listening
All he sees when he looks at her
Is a lay
Some would say how sad
She says lay down and let me on top
You'll try to hold her hand
While she goes down
She'll move your hand to her ***
She doesn't want the fake hand holding crap
Why do something that's not real
Just to make her feel you care
She used to be a fool
And believed every guy
When they promised they wouldn't leave her
Promises are easily broken she knows that now
Sometimes they might come back for seconds
Her heart used to sing when she'd hear the ding
He'd send "You wanna do it again?"
She thought that meant he liked her for more
She waited for the text
It didn't come so she sends "Wanna do it again? :)"
She learned quick that they never come back for thirds
And then she got used to it
She's forgotten she wants someone that cares
When will I learn?
I don't need to crash and burn
I don't need your hand under my bra
To feel alive
I don't need your mouth on mine
They love what I do not what I am
Its not about you its the fact that I feel broken
Cant you understand
When you say bye I know I'll never see you again
And sometimes there is no bye
So why do I do it
The first one was emotions
I cried for days
No text, No text
I broke, I fell
It wasn't my fault
He fed me a bunch of lies
And of course I believed them
Hell I was innocent
Never touched, never kissed
My Mother has always been attracted to violent, cowardly men
So one night she went to a local, seedy bar located in the bad side of town
She was barely 19 but had a fake ID bought from a clever counterfeiter
As she sipped her third Black Russian in walked an attractive man
He wore far too much black leather; leather pants, jacket and vest and biker boots
When he took off his helmet his Grecian looks were extremely apparent
He noticed my Mother right away... She was the most beautiful of the woman there
Her blonde hair fell around her shoulders, her blue eyes flashed
And sparkled in the light of the dimly lite bar
Their eyes made contact and she brought her drink to her mouth
Her light pink tongue ran around the rim of the glass
The dark man raised an eye brow at her and made his way to the
Bar stool my mother had her legs propped upon, her incredible long white legs
He looked at them and touched her ankle without a word
He ran his thumb over her pale and soft skin, with just one touch
He had my Mother completely under his spell
Finally after seconds that felt like centuries he lifted his hand from her ankle
He asked if he could buy her a drink and sit by her
Breathless she nodded her head and moved her legs to allow him to sit
He bought her another drink and they sat and talked for awhile
The ****** tension was almost tangible between them
He loved how brass she was, how she argued with his beliefs and how she flirted to get her way
She asked about his motorcycle and he offered to take her for a ride
She responded with a puzzled "Now???"
And he laughed a deep laugh and responded with an accented "If you would like"
She got up and whispered in his ear "I'd like to very much get a ride"
My Mothers heart raced for she had never done anything like this before
But she had to have this man, this man that she had just met
With a smile that nearly blinded her he got up and placed his hand
Dangerously low on her back, exactly where her shirt ended and the small line of skin was
He had kept his hands on her the entire night but this touch almost burned
My mother let him herd her out of the bar and once they were outside
He walked over to the meanest looking machine she had ever seen
With concern she looked at her mini skirt knowing a lot of leg would show if she got on that bike
He laughed at her face and climbed onto the bike
He tossed the extra helmet he had to her and beckoned for her to climb on
When she did he ran his right hand down her each of her legs making sure they were pressed against his
My mother was in for the ride of her life...
For this man was not a man at all but a God...
It’s splashing on some eyeliner
Make yourself look decent
It’s throwing on a crop top
When it's 20 degrees outside
It’s sitting in the driveway
You have 2 hours until he comes
It’s freezing your *** off
Because a skirt looked better
It’s listening to cars go by
And wondering which one will be his
It’s knowing he'll never wait in the dark for you
It’s getting in his car
And hearing “you look hot”
it's never understanding why he won't take you to his place
Am I not worthy of your bed?
Are you embarrassed?
It’s wanting to have a conversation
But he's only interested in what color your underwear is
It’s wanting to hold his hand
I just want to hold your hand
It’s having to tell yourself
You don’t mean a thing to him
When he bites your neck
It’s suppressing your tears
When he dives into you
It’s knowing one another
But not being able to look at each other
For those who don’t know what 2am hangouts are like
It’s constantly telling yourself you deserve better
Why won’t I get better?
I strive for the taste of your tongue
the way your lips feel pressed against mine
I have never experienced anything better.
My heart races as you glide you hands all over my body,
oh how I miss the way you feel beside me.
You never fall short of making me feel so good.
When I look into those light blue eyes
I see myself,
a smile never seeming to leave
and wondering if you ever will.
I drove an hour in pouring rain
to get to see you last night.
You showed me your favorite places
as we walked around town soaking wet.
We went back to your dorm
and changed our clothes.
Laying in your bed
our hands fumbling for each other
in the darkness.
Our lips tracing every square inch
of each others bodies.
I already knew the truth.
And I thought that this
would fix things.
But you said it was a mistake
as you held me close
in your arms.
You didn't feel
the same way about me.
I kissed you again
because I was dying
for your affection.
You kissed me back.
Was that a mistake too?
This can only be tonight
based on a true story.
— The End —