When it hurts it hurts.
When sadness grips my throat I let it linger.
I let the breath in my lungs dissipate.
Because why does it matter?

When it hurts it hurts.
When the air is leaving my body and memories flood in,
I don't care if I have no air.
The next best thing is the death of the old.

But the problem is whenever it dies and I have "Moved on" it's a lie.
I get dragged back in.
I somehow get breath back in my lungs.
And the past comes back to life.

Today was one of those days.
A photograph was found,
A feeling was ignored,
A day of hurt pursued.

When it hurts it hurts.
When the past is found
When the past is relived.
**** me and the edge that I get to.

I see over the cliff.
I see over the precipice.
I take the leap over and over again, but I keep ending up right where I started.
The past won't ******* die.

When it hurts it hurts,
And guess what?
Right now, in this moment,
It ******* hurts.

Sorry, mom and dad
Sorry, sensitive folks.
Sorry, for writing this down and putting it out in the world.
But right now I don't care.

I'll tag it explicit.
I'll tag it adults only.
But guess what?
Life is explicit even if you don't swear.

Because when it hurts it hurts.
When the truth is laid out before you, don't run from it.
Embrace the truth, the pain, the misery, the sadness.
Even if you try to ignore it, you can't.
Because when it HURTS it HURTS.

I want her back
I don't want to move on.

I don't want her back.
I want to move on.

I'll probably be better tomorrow.
But who knows?
I sure as Hell don't.
What I do know...

What I do know...

Sorry for the repeat I was really trying to find something to say there.

Oh I remember...

When it hurts it hurts.
Let me be,
Let me feel,
Let me not be home,
Let me be far away.

God, when it hurts it hurts and you understand.
God, when those photographs find their way to my eyes let me hurt.
It's not wrong to feel the way you feel.
I'm allowed to be sad.
Even if every fiber of my being is ashamed I haven't moved on.

When it hurts it hurts.
Let it be.
Leave me be.
Leave it where it is, so I can see.  


Sleep by the day and awaken at night.
Mingling with the unseen.
Bestfriends with the vambats.
Ugly to the eyes but gracefully felt.

It matters not to me what you are.
For in the darkness you lighten my fear.
With you I feel safe as without you I am lost.
Without you I might as well be dead.
With you within I become immortally alive.

I Think The HARDEST Was.... " Marcus ".... !!!!

When It Came To The Targets...
That SUPPORTED... SMARTNESS...
Being IMPARTED... INTO Black Markets...
And The Minds of Our CHARGES...

Black Hearts Who He FELT...
Should Be MORE Than Slaves... !!!
For People To... SELL... ?!?

His Mental Dwells In Words NOW Dealt...
By Mentalities Who NEED To SEE...
Their Thought Waves REACH...

... " BEYOND The Beach "... !!!!!!!!

Marcus DID TEACH As Well As READ... !!!
Are YOU Black People... RECEIVING Me... ?!!!!!?

Because OVER The Years...
REVOLUTIONARY Ears Have Tried To ADHERE....
To What It Was He TRIED To Make CLEAR... !!!!!

While MUTINEERS... " FEEL "...
Because They WON'T HEAR... !!!!!

An ISSUE NOT Steered...
INTO... Yesteryear... !!!

It's The Month of His Birth As I Write THESE Words...
That Simply Show The Little I Know...
About Garveys' Role In Attempting To CHANGE...

The Way Black Folks Chose To Live and Engage...
With Systems Made To ENSLAVE And Make CHAINS... !!!
That RESTRICT The Way We USE Our Brains...

So Of Course He Faced SCORN... !!!
From Whites And MORE... !!!

Who LOOKED LIKE... " HIM "... ?!!!?

Which I Have To Say...
Is A... SHAMEFUL THING... !!!

Because THOSE Who DID Have Now Created...
A PROBLEM That EXISTS That KILLS Black Kids... !!!

HOW We LOOK At Each Other...
As If We're... NOT Brothers... ???
Who Should... LOVE One Another... !?!

Over WHAT...

Rice and Peas To FEED SLAVERY... ?!?

A Story... UNCOVERED...
That SHOULD of Been... "SMOTHERED"... !!!!!

MISTRUST That *****...
Like Count BLACKULA' Does... !!!!!

OKAY That's ENOUGH...
of That Type of FUN Stuff... !!!!!

Because Marcus's Words Were SERIOUS Sir... !!!!!

And Rightfully STIRRED...
The... " Colonial World "...
A Man Who DESERVES...

A LOT MORE CREDIT Than He Has EARNED... !!!!!

And That Is How I'll END This...
My Thoughts Are POETIC...
And FAR FROM....................... Systemic... !!!

But DON'T KNOW ENOUGH...
About HIM Or His LIFE Or How He FUNCTIONED...

But I KNOW THIS Brah'... !!!

When It Came To Being... ONE...
Who REALLY STOOD UP For Black UPLIFTMENT... !!!!

I Have RESPECT For...

The Man Once KNOWN...
By The Name... of...

...... " Marcus "...... !!!!!!

You
kept secrets.
As did I.
Difference is, yours broke
Me.

Soundless,
emotionless.
but emotion flowers up
like blackened roses,
but never shadowed lilies.

Words are a force to be reckoned
and I forgot my own strength.

Honesty isn't always
the best policy.

I should’ve known how this would end
We played the part of distant friends
I knew this would hurt like a metal fist
When I came near & barely felt your kiss
You should’ve seen my hand the other day
Shaking and trembling like a rusty train
When it comes and goes in a fiery blaze
Lungs burn, blood boils, a grueling state
I’m calling around for a saving grace
And with two bruised knees, I’ll try to pray
What was that thing you said to my face?
Honey you’ll find love but not today