It's hurt so many times.
Is it still suppose to hurt?
Well not anymore, I am numb to the pain.

Who are you?
Are you the sweet boy that makes me feel the most unfathomable joy?
Or are you the heartless monster that never stops yelling?
It changes every day.
Make up your mind, you heartless wretch.
Cause i can't live like this anymore.

I do not want my heart any more.
Its a burden, filled with grief.
I'm certain it wasn't like this before.
I want to be heartless; I need to feel relief.

Your memory tortures me everyday.
Your smile holds a tight grip on my eyes.
"Please! I just want you to go away,"
But my heart knows I'm full of lies

Are you entertained, watching me languish from above?
Do not worry for I will be seeing you soon, my love.

I never chose to be heartless
My heart broke, I just couldn't keep the peaces
I Never thought anyone could ever mend it
To myself I thought "what's the use of keeping something broken?"
I lost hope..... My mind was filled with hatred, I turned into a lier, a busted ,a **** ,a hypocrite, a traitor you name it... Just to get my revenge ,everyone was a victim I just didn't care, I knew I wasn't fair But it eased the pain When you and I met ,no lie I got your name. On the list too But you were different,you got me patient,got rid of the fatuous me.... Then you gave me your heart ,gave me Hope, taught me how to love Without knowing I was deeply falling for you My heart grew fonder,started caring ,feeling,loving..... couldn't believe it Thought my mind was playing tricks on me It wasn't I was in love once again.........

Kiss me with your razor blade tongue.
Let your lips press against my throat, for they are like knives.
Let your scissor hands slit my wrists.
They tell me your heart is made of gold but your soul is made of onyx.
Dance your fingertips across my skin in one's hope of love.
But darling, you could never love.
You're heartless.

Your eyes are killer to me.
'Sharp as the blade that cuts
Emotions out of me
&You;; stare is cold as can be
But it was never really like this
Could've sworn your arms
Used to be more inviting

But oh, i built a fence around my heart to keep you out
But you've found a way in, to my head somehow..
(And that's a dangerous entrance)

So how, how can i move on
When you're everywhere i go?
Oh but if theres one more thing you need to know, before you exit..

It's this;

I'm in a maze but please don't find me..
I'm in a dream but don't you wake me..
I'm in a world where there is no one else quite like me..
And i'm in love, but please don't save me.

Cause i'm afraid you can't save me,
You made me love love and now it hates me,
And now i don't know if i should be heartless..
'Cause maybe things would hurt less
If i used my heart less..

And if all is fair in love and war..
Won't you tell me how this self loathing war ends?

I’m trying to convince my friends that I don’t like you anymore and that I only think of you as a brother.
But am I trying to convince them or myself?
I close my eyes and see your ridiculous smile
I see you in the faces of my school mates
I see you everywhere
My heart aches every time I think of you
Is this love?
Probably not
Love don’t exist
I see the proof is my friends heartbreak and my parents fights
But how do you manage to make me feel like this
Get out of my head you’re driving me crazy
Stop it
You’re torturing my brain
This is an endless torture
You’re a personal devil sent straight from the fires of hell to torture me
To make my heart crumble as I listen to you talking about another girl
Feel my heart break into a million pieces and crumble into ashes as I see you with another girl
This is against everything that I stand for
I refuse to let this get to me
I will be immune to you
I will be immune to everyone else
I will be heartless

(s.a.)