the sun no longer shined
it became dark
the whole world was about to feel her wrath
as her screams could be heard
her fury could be felt

crackling sounds of lighting could be heard within
the dark cloud grew larger
one look and one could tell a storm was brewing
what had seemed like a sunny day turned dark and solemn
one push
one button
and over the edge, she goes

final stroll
the noise around him drowned her cries
he couldn't make a word of what she said
it seemed the storm had passed
closing his eyes to breathe
with a shatter, she broke
and all hell broke loose

Could you separate life
From the living,
The scripture
From the pope?
The teacher
From their history
Could you find that glimmer
Of hope?

Could you forgive
Betrayal?
If not
Do you have a limit?
Could you see weakness
And still
Accept it?

What if it never amends
Or if it’s never acknowledged?
Could You forgive and forget a broken promise?
Could you trust?
Could you be trusted?
Could you fix what is broken
Without the knowledge?

Maybe you could
If you had to choose between
Losing a part of yourself
And losing something dear to you.
Or if you had to choose between
Being alone
And forgiving someone who has wronged you.

And could you
Accept an apology
Of someone who
Has done something
They could never take back?
Could you accept an apology
For a pattern
Occurring behind your back?

I will not be walked all over.
I will not be taken as a fool.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
But
What you did to me,
To us,
Was nothing short of cruel.
And I don’t know if you mean it
When you said you were sorry
Or you’re only sorry
Now that you can’t hide
The consequences,
Now that I have to
Deal with this
For the rest of my life.
And I love you,
But
If forgiveness means
To trust you one more time,
I wouldn’t be able to lie.

I saw truth plain as day
Knew I did not mean much
Didn't possess the sense to leave
Desperate to experience your touch
Now you are running away from me
Too cowardly to say goodbye
I am left looking like a **** fool
Just another passerby
Your silence says it all
Want nothing more to do with me
After effort I put forth
Cast me aside like worthless debris
Now true colors are revealed
I caught a glimpse of them before
Gave another chance because
Believed you were capable of more
I worked hard to be somebody you wanted
To improve my imperfections
Did little things to make you smile
Hoping to avoid rejection
Only for actions to be in vain
I am still all alone
Changes made were a stupid waste
If only I would have known
You were just biding time
Til better opportunity came along
May not have been Mr. Right
The way you treated me wrong
I was fine keeping us the way we were
Simply wanted to clarify where we stood
I asked if this was a relationship
Maybe I misunderstood
And even when you lied to me
Disloyalty breaking trust
Still forgave all your mistakes
Until emotions were stomped into dust
I was ready to settle for bare minimum
As long as I could hold you close
Warm sensation was enough
Even if I wasn't what you desired the most
But despite being tolerant and understanding
Still decided to shut me out
After sharply slapped in the face
Finally realize I'm better without
Should never have waited around for you
Because I enjoyed your caress
Deserve so much better than that
I've learned I'd rather be lonely than settle for less

Am I still alive when my feelings died?
Yes I died before and you never knew where I was buried
So today I will tell you more and you will know me more
I will tell you about my feelings
But the truth is true when you know all of them
You will receive that I am still waiting to die
With all of the feelings that growing up in my heart day by day
If I speak to you, will you listen?
If I tell you, will you feel like I am a liar?
So let me die at this moment I tell the truth
That I am still alive, and my feelings died,
but I am not heartbroken

All these years, I waited for you
But you weren't who you said were you
Unbeknownst to this, I give my everything for you
Just to let you know that I loved you more than you do

You said till death do us part, I will be there for you
But you moved on like it was no big deal for you
Left me alone to face the music over actions of you
Just to let me know that I loved your more than you do

I've no love now, thanks to you
But you now love someone more than you
I cried, wept, and didn't slept thinking about you
Just to let you know that I loved you more than you do

This is desire; nothing you have heard of in
Romantic poems, of red, of pink, of green,
Of gold and pearlescent white - it is a picture
Of me in my pjs, with my sexiest underwear
Beneath, for no reason at all - I have my feet
Up on the footstool of our stained sofa set
Coffee and alcohol and goodness-knows-what
From bygone beggars who lived our student lot
And it's quarter past two, and I have a well-eaten
Granny Smith core in my hand, and the day has beaten
Me. The week has beaten me, but hey!
I smiled through it all, almost all the way.
And my household (mis)adventures mean I carry a stale chipshop
And washing smell about me. And I stop
And I think, yeah, I'm only up because I'm working late -
I'm only working late because I got up late -
I only got up late because it finally hit me -
It finally hit me and I'm working on trying to get by
So I record myself on IG live reading a Victorian novel
I discovered two summers ago when another total
Fool decided it was wise to break my heart
Because I'm needing the typed-in hope, on my part,
Discovering that I'm sitting with a journey ahead
Stilled, getting over the craziness, the pain in my belly and head,
A hundred things I could do fresher and if I just lived normally
And I'm sitting, again, a picture of nonchalant insanity
Over a pair of strong tan arms, great hands, quick-fingers,
Beautiful blue eyes, a jaw, a beard, a chest, a heart that lingers
Everywhere, in every word you speak - it resounds, rather,
Root-chords and sevenths and sixths and fourths, and, bother,
I write you as a blazon when it was your whole and soul
I loved. "I loved you once". I think I love you now, the fool
I am, staring into the dark night, the flats across where they
Have potted tropical plants and a couple and a cat, and hey,
I sing whenever the window is open, hoping you will pass
And hear my clear voice lauding your songs and more, but alas
These hopes are vain, and the window was open wide tonight
And I wonder how many I entertained, not going left or right,
Dimming the lights, thinking about you, and losing my mind
As I still do? No, it's not a **** picture, but I'm inclined
To say it's real, and if that ain't ****, the ****** says,
Then I sure as heck will never settle for what is.

the piercing screams of insults
ones that became engraved in your subconscious
just to be written in the back of your heart with a knife
another scar to add to your extensive list

run

like a plane crashing to the floor, millions of pieces breaking off in the air
similarly to how she always manages to fall apart in the most volatile way
each level of insanity leading to another part of my body becoming a target
she always manages to find another target

run

the wrath consuming me
years of pent up frustration, i eventually become my own worst enemy
all because of what? someone else's words? some insane person's actions?
but i can't control it, i can't help it, i can't do anything but think of the worst

run

in my fantasy, i'm soaring through the night sky
while a multitude of lights are shining beneath me
knowing my end, knowing my impending doom
but in that moment, i know she can't hurt me anymore - so i win

you can't run anymore. the run is over.