The promises I made,
I had to break
to save myself from
this destruction wake.
Waking up, in a bed.
That isn't your's or mine,
It's like time stopped
So I could count every line.
Every sentence that came
out of my mind.
They say feelings can't be wrong,
which is why it felt so right.
For a drunken night,
and a beautiful good morning.
And my, was it a beautiful morning.
For a second I smiled.
For a second I was happy.
But it wasn't you,
So I feel,
guilty.

I used think
Of suicide
All the time

How
When
Where

But really,
Suicide
Sounds like a lot
Of work

What I really wish
Is that death
Would just take me
And I wouldn't have to come
To it

That I would fall from great heights
But not on purpose

That a bear would eat me
Without prompting

That water would take me
Without my help

That I would just die
But not on purpose

Or even better
But truly impossible,

I wish I had never been born

That I had never disgraced
This world
With my presence

That I never
Met you
So you wouldn't have to pretend
To be my friend

That I never
Forced my
Ugly words
On people

I honestly wish I had never been born

So no,
I do not
Want to commit suicide

But yes,
I do want to die
Or have never been alive

I already proved I'm innocent
Yet you say I'm guilty
Sometimes I don't get you
My mind's messed up
And it's all because of you

I feel like one day I'll finish all my work
I'll make amends and fix my life
And on that day I'll say goodbye
I don't deserve it
I never could
I hurt too many people and feel guilty everyday
I walk these same halls and wake up the same way
I don't deserve it
I don't deserve life
I don't deserve it
I'm living wrong
And one day I'll fix it
But on that day I'll say goodbye
I don't deserve this
**Nothing at all

The man that stood in black.
That man that was there,
When I always turned back.
He, That man,
Was there,
Standing still.
Cold as ice,
But eyes warm,
And mind so nice.
The Man In Black, and I
Spoke thru silence.
We stood there.
Eyes growing wilder in violence,
But yet the conversation
Was so sweet.
Tender enough to the point
I needed no greet.
The Man In Black,
Was hard to make of.
I couldn’t see much of his face,
Except that his teeth and eyes
Was as white as a dove.
He showed much remorse
Thru smiles, and love.
He covered me thru all of my
Hard times.
When I had to push and shove.
But The Man In Black
Was a scheme and darkness.
Every talk we had,
My silence grew angry.
My silence was violence.
My silence became a riot…
It became a riot.
A RIOT!
RIOT!!
RIOT!!!
RIOT!!!!
I couldn’t hide it.
I loved The Man In Black,
But why couldn’t he stay for long?
Why when I had problems he
Seems to always be gone?
WHERE’S THAT MAN?!
Why…
I thought I had a friend.
I just wanted a friend.
That man in black,
Was a trace of myself.
My guilt.
My conscious.
My trend.
I no longer had a friend,
That was in all black,
That man became me.
Every time I turned back.


                  Marci H.

yes
true
very true
you got me flirting
with somebody else
..guilty
of course i am
i was poisoned
by the unfaithful world
and trust less in loyalty
so i go astray
before i'm betrayed
well looks like
you just
don't want to listen anymore..
*broken