In the motion of flying leaves
I can feel the wind revolve around the urn
Embracing it,
Embracing you
I will miss you,

But like old clothes, I will learn
To outgrow the memory of you
As time alters my head and body
My favorite jeans I insist on wearing,
But they just won’t fit anymore.

We now ride the boat of forgetting
Before alighting, allow me for the last time
To hide in your embrace
And the tattoo smile lines on your face
To which I lift a finger to trace.
We look to each other’s glass eyes,
Put on our coats, nod, then walk away.

But listen:
There always comes a time,
When the imagination fills in the absence
And the memory is relieved again
And again
For death does not end love
And separation does not further the distances

The sad day was soon to come
When voices forever fall dumb
The bell will chime but one last time
And I recall that last sad mime

To write a speech I was requested
Or at least it was suggested
but on looking back all that I saw
was shadow memories, ever raw
Happy times it seemed had faded
Smiles not again paraded
Since I was a child of six
And what happened then betwixt

Twenty-three years had passed
And the thought made me aghast
Because through the time I could not recall
Happy memories at all
Threads of memory imbued with sadness
Even better times I still felt downcast
For you are a family of five, and I am one alone
With no place to call a true home

I have lost something that I never had
Could I really be so bad?
The collages show the five of you smiling out from luxury
The five of you, but never me
Holidays to far-flung places
Happy looks upon your faces

Where are my shared memories?
Dig through the ephemories
Now they will never be

There are flowers in the garden,
There are flowers near our feet,
There are flowers all around us,
They grow from underneath.

There are flowers in your house,
There can be flowers in your hair,
Flowers can make you smile,
In a time of despair.

Flowers are what you give a girl,
On any given day.
Especially when she’s sad,
It’ll make her feel okay.

Or give one to your mom
To show your appreciation.
Flowers are what you use
During any type of celebration.

Right now, I see some flowers,
They’re quite eye catching.
I appreciate everyone who should up,
But I must be going.

There are flowers in the room,
So please no one cry.
I’m going to a better place,
It’s time to say goodbye.

My mother begins to talk,
She talks as she weeps.
I kiss her on the forehead,
Before I have to leave.

I hope she felt my presence,
As I float up above.
People brought me flowers,
I definitely feel the love.

On the day of my funeral I don't want many things
except to have my family there and all that they bring.
The sky will open with grayish-blue clouds
that say the heaven are open without a doubt.
the breeze will begin to make the green willow trees sway
as my soul whispers "see you another day."
poems will be read and songs will be sung
but I will tolerate no tears because i am the one that has won.
now I suffer from no struggles or worldly doubts and fears
I fear not the people of the earth, but wipe away their tears

I think about death
I do
Not in the gory suicidal way but in the
"one day I will die....hmmm" way
I've thought about my funeral
I don't want anyone to cry
I wasn't THAT great of a person
But as snarky (and sometimes full of it) as I tend to be
I know
The day that I die will be a sad day
I want flower seeds scattered at the base of my headstone and
my ashes scattered deep in the mountains because I loved my mountains more than anything else Nature had to offer
My mother always said if He can raise people from the dead then he should be able to put people back together from their ashes
So let me be cremated
I never liked the idea of my body being left to rot six feet under anyways
I think about who will be around when I die
I could go at any time so
whether or not my parents will be around to mourn the loss of their child is irrelevant
How much would I have accomplished?
Would I have made an impact on the world like I'd always dreamed I would?
I've thought about my last words
What sound will people hear as I take my last breath?
I hope it will be
"see you soon"
I wonder where I'll be when the time comes
What sound will people actually hear as I take my last breath?
Will it be filled with regret? remorse? happiness?
I think about death.
I do
And as I close this poem, I'll ask you this question
Do you?

Allez-vous nous jeter roses quand nous mourons
allez-vous pleurer pour nous
serons-nous être se souvient
quand nous ne serons plus là
ne nous oubliez pas
si afin que nous vivions sur
dans vos histories
dans vos souvenirs
et à travers votre vie

I dreamed
of your funeral
someone told me
to remove my hat,
in such scared space
with all those amputated flowers,
***** pipe moans, and
necromancing neckties

you spoke; you assured me
I did not have to expose
my naked head, or any other secrets
for you knew them all, as did those
among whom you now "walked"

others yet stared at me
with chastising eyes
admonishing me to uncover my head
for I was still among them they said…

they could not hear you or feel your breath
making the hairs stand on the back of my neck,
if they could, they would have let me be

they would have known
you did not demand truth
it was all around you, and even stripped of my hat
and forced to endure the sun's glaring revelations  
we woeful walkers would yet be in darkness,
in this waking dream, imagining light
from a place that had none  
I dreamed of your funeral…