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Bianca Petersen Jul 2023
Looking for Answers
In the box you left
The code to your mind
Doesn’t reside
In the wooden frame
That leaves more pain

Your journal entries
Don’t mention my name
Just loose affirmations
Of the life you couldn’t create
Destined for greatness
You clung to the devil
As if it were your only fate

Your words plead guilty
To the fight for your sanity
Disease took over
The last hopes for glory
All that is left
Is a bucket list
Compromised by your recklessness
So all that I have left of you
Is too many words that never came true
And still in your demise
I long for you
louella Jul 2023
one step and you’re there at my door. two steps and you’ve made your way inside. in my house. my doors were opened by a gust of wind and you stumbled in and i should have slammed you out, but i didn’t because i’m a coward. you’re a strange species. you’ve broken into my safe place, the soft place where i lay my head at night. you’re next to appear in my nightmares. a shadowy black figure standing inside my closet, lurking. being alone isn’t as lonely as i feel when i am with you. you punch my ribcage and i start to feel nauseous, but you just blame it on me. soon i will wreck your perfect life and send you crashing down the cliffside. soon i won’t give you the leniency and forgiveness i perpetually gift. soon i will lose focus and you will be blurry in my vision and i will forget you forever. soon, i will let you go.
haven’t written with this format in a while. another necessary write-down because if i don’t write this down i will go insane. life is so confusing at the moment. i woke up and i just didn’t care. is that such a wrong thing for me to say?

7/16/23
like two cars
at a crossroad junction
we glided into different
paths
My Dear Poet May 2023
There are those who know of pain
Often and always take time to heal

There are those with promise broken
Often and always need time to seal

Yet, there are those whose hearts forgive
Often and always will
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CstAD87u0q7/?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
wes parham May 2023
Listen.
This is good stuff that you need to know,
I’ve been writing it all in my head for a while.  
Because ever since we went toe to toe,
There are things that I now have to reconcile.

I recall...
I recall a camel-hair trench coat, green knit gloves and unfamiliar but smiling people. It was 1988.
I remember papers wind-strewn in a high school parking lot, oil and grit smudging the corners of awful artwork and poetry.  (I hope I thanked you for the ride home after missing the bus on my first day at a new school).

It was good to have met you in those formative years.  It was nothing magical, we just became friends and I needed one more than I could have known.

I learned…
I learned that a friend will nod patiently to interminable tales of obsession and unrequited love.  (You poor *******.  I thank you for this, if I never did before.)
I learned that a friend will patiently read your hack teenage poetry, advising sparingly.
(Thanks for that, too.)
I learned that someone might potentially be able to crash only “my side of the car”.
            ( I’m grateful that this "nuclear option" was never invoked!)
I learned about music bands that would become  the soundtrack for the best years in my young life.
(I still listen to pretty much anything by xtc, over 25 years later.)
I learned that a cast iron skillet may very well shatter if dropped onto concrete.
I learned that the best cornbread is a simple recipe and that you must pre-heat the pan.
(My wife insists that I prepare it anytime we make chili.)
1989, our senior year of high school…  I remember an overnight bike tour I took of our hometown. On a whim, I stopped by your house at 1AM. Unable to knock, I opted instead to get your attention by tapping at the window when I noticed you were awake and playing a computer game. ( sorry for the scare… )
1991.  I remember sitting, spellbound, to see “A Tour of Heaven and Hell” at the Center for Puppetry Arts.
(The first inspiration in a longer journey that would later have me working with it’s creator on five new shows.)
In college, I remember “our little ant farm”, the apartments across from our rental house on Milburn Avenue in Athens.
I remember climbing onto the roof to lounge, take photos and, of course,  leap off.
(Thanks for a Pulitzer-worthy freeze frame  of my youth in flight)
For that matter, thanks for some great camping excursions, a cast-iron pan cooking potatoes and, what-  onion?  on the fire.

This is how I come to realize: The darkness cannot outshine the light, since life will always throw reminders my way that when we were young, you were important to me.  I can not discard, too easily, that which is already an indelible part of me.
This is for a friend.  We once parted ways on cold terms and this is me placing a pylon in time, a memorial and reminder that time is a continuum; that people are multi-faceted and ever-changing.

It speaks of very real and specific things that transpired between us, mundane bits of “rememborabilia” that I felt compelled to reflect on and then reflect back for them to read, which they have.

It is my heartfelt desire that love prevail over bitterness, that forgiveness prevail over shadow and pain.

The title misspelling is intentional and reflects my friend’s abysmal skill at spelling.  I received a note, for example, with that very spelling of “tragedy”.  This, with all respect and fondness for the friendship formed whenever we both would occupy it.
SCHEDAR Apr 2023
His forgiveness
redirects me
over and
over again
to
listen up,
and become
the best self
that I can
Meandering Words Feb 2023
perhaps it is apt
the first pancake
is always
a disappointment
stodgy
anaemic
without that light
crisped perfection
we've come to expect
it is undercooked
typically
as the ideal
frying time
is gauged
incorrectly at first
it will be
plated with
accompanying pleas
for forgiveness
and absolution
but as penance
someone has to
suffer this
pariah's offering
with each mouthful
comes thoughts
of apology
of atonement
of promises
it will be better
next time
VanillinVillain Feb 2023
seething, as the sour fruit
bleeds its poison along my tongue.
leaden with the weight of memory the heart--
but twice too much.
a day? an error? a mood? the regret of--
but twice too late.

t'was not mine own tongue what spake those words. I know not why from me they rode. but while I may not know the origin the result; still mine to bear. the responsibility still mine to own. The regret--
but twice too much.
2/23/23, 1:52pm.
PA Trees Feb 2023
I had some bad news to deliver,
So I took her to my spot
The bench under the tree,
With all its gnarled knots

The bench right by the creek,
Right where the turtles like to play
A sacred spot of rest,
And shade on sunny days

I sat her down beside me,
And prepared her for the worst
Something so horrible,
It had taken eight weeks to rehearse

I really wish he'd told her,
Like he said he would
Should have known an aggressor's word
Is rarely ever good

I told her all there was to tell,
I answered every question
And then I found myself alone,
Silence in all directions

She walked so far away,
That I couldn't hear her voice
My story then repeated,
To the person of her choice

I waited on the bench,
And then waited some more
I made a small bouquet,
From flowers on the shore

I tied it up with grass,
And set it to the side
Such a mindless act of beauty,
I'm shocked I didn't cry

Not a sound escaped my lips,
Even after she returned
From the feeling in the air I knew,
The meeting was adjourned

Less than one day later,
She sat me down backstage
Though her conclusions were ill-founded,
Her words stung all the same

Eight weeks of work and "it's not your fault"
She did her best to make undone
Not only did I encourage him,
But I broke the essence of our bond

My dishonesty, my silence,
Can never be forgiven
My every flaw as a friend,
Unasked for, yet still given

Her final words were pure spite
If I'd only told her that same night

But how could I have told her,
What I didn't understand?
In an effort to escape the room,
I may have kissed her man

Four months to process,
Four hours locked away
But I never knew peace,
until I made that bouquet.
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