I smelled your shirt tonight
        Remember the one you took off before you left and tossed at me?
Said I could keep it for a memory.
                 It was an accident,
         I didn't want to smell it,
        To
           smell
               you.
     It reminded me of the night before you left,
        We stayed up talking half the night about you leaving,
       being sad but anxious and happy too
         I just
               held
                      you
Watched you sleep, wondered about your dreams
             I didn't sleep that night
        Stayed up all night and cried
               I knew I was gonna miss you
                  And it was gonna hurt so bad
                        To watch you go
But when I just smelled your shirt
            It didn't make me sad
                   Not
                         even
                                mad
It was just another memory
Of the mistakes I've made and learned from
             I've
                   let
                      it all
                            go
I guess I just wanted you to know
      That even if you don't want it,
                 I've
                      forgiven
                              you.
    Tomorrow?
I'm gonna wash that shirt
And *stop thinking about you.

as the blood flowed down
and the nails pierced your hands
you called out to God
and yet he turned his face
and you said
F O R G I V E  
T H E M
for they know not what they do.
And as you hung there
bearing the weight of MY sin.
you said
F O R G I V E
T H E M

I've done some nasty things
I've lost all my good
I search my soul for you

Can you forgive me?
My broken heart racing
I want us back
Please give the pleasure of loving you

You know,
I once told you
That I would always love you.
That nothing could change that.
But now I'm not so sure.
You changed so much
In what at the time
Seemed like forever
Because you were ignoring me.
Now I realise
In the grand scheme of things
It took more like a nanosecond
For you to become
What you now are.
I however
Appear to have evolved
In order to survive the way you changed.
So I don't know if I love you anymore,
It's not that simple.
But what I do know is;
I will never forgive you
For what you
Have forced me
To become.

... lest I cannot forgive.
I've been mistaken
to think I had a right to live
as though I were righteous
or
irreplaceable.
I wonder,
what is the culmination?
The end result?
For us?
For her?
Have the sins of the mother
tarnished her glory?
Have I paved
a way
for us
in Hell?

How can we do it?
We line all our men up in straight lines
we make them walk through three foot of mud and mines
towards positioned machine guns through fields off lead.

How many men can we **** in four and a quarter years?
Ready steady go!

My faith has been weak,
I have fallen on my knees
so many times.
But how honest was I?

I felt hate and shame,
till they both felt the same.
I've been so wrong,
for way too long.

Why did I look away,
or run at the sound of your name?
Why was I so afraid,
just to be saved?

After being so blind,
and falling out of line,
I finally see,
it's you that I need.

After all that you've sacrificed,
you gave your entire life,
just for sinners like me.
What took me so long to see?

My lord, I give you my life.
After all of this struggle and strife.
I realize I can't survive,
without you on my side.

You are the king of all kings,
You are everything.
Even after I have sinned,
I know I am now forgiven.

When I think of you.
I imagine us forgiving each other.
For the past arguments, the fights.

It fathoms me with desire.
To speak one word..
Just one sweet word,
For you to see that I forgive you..

My heart breaks when I don't hear,
See or feel you near..

When I meander about,
Lost and afraid.
I think of you.

My friend,
You are far away..
I wish you were near.
Please live..
Your life fully..

Farewell...