Her hands smelt sweet
As they were clammy with sweat
And she wrapped them gently
Around my nose and mouth.
She stood behind me
Protecting me with ferocity
And I leaned in, heavy
Against her thin frame.
He was coming now,
His tall shadow cast out
By the light from the hall.
I shivered, she whispered,
“When I say go, run.”
I nodded, my body frozen
And it couldn’t have been
More than a few seconds
Until I heard her yell
And before I knew it, I was
Sprinting, abandoning her,
And I heard her scream loud,
As though she was being mauled
By a wild beast and I whimpered.

“TAG, YOU’RE IT!” he yelled.
The game was over, so
I turned around and ran back,
Only to begin another round.

As I walk to meet you, the flashbacks set in...
          Of running to greet you out in the rain,
          Of two am phone calls that erased the pain...
          I remember whispering I love you.

With your strong hold, embrace me; keep me close.
          *I recall the first time I felt safe with you...

careful, you might trip!
the roads are rocky and a little mean,
though for this clumsy ball of sunshine,
tripping is nothing but a routine.

your peers tap on shoulders to call;
"little baby, go outside and play,"
mom will plant kisses on your forehead
and tell you to be careful on your way.

puddles after showers; splitter splatter!
wipe your legs clean under blue roof;
tall people and words that taste foreign,
the tip to hold another hand home is a little goof.

I know day by day
another memory fades
However, some of them won't fade
It would definitely take
more than reincarnation to break
They're too great
I've dedicated times of the day
for heart racing meditation
So they'll glimmer on replay

Now that my mind's straight
I still can't contemplate
the words to say
Even if said in a perfect way
may not deserve a place
back in contention
to earn your grace

I already know, it's no joke
to let boat loads of hope float
without anyone knowing
so no emotions expose
It's hard to throw in a towel
when I'm holding a rope
Flicking through old pictures
on a brand new phone
Just to regain that feeling
The feeling of home

i was lying on the floor
staring up at the ceiling
the laughter from my family
floating towards me
i should have been there
part of that
for once everyone was there
except for me
because i'm never there,
and in that moment
on the floor
with distant sounds of my family
i thought about dying
clarification.
i thought about killing myself
it hit me like a wave
almost coming out of nowhere
reminding me of the problems i have
haunting my every move.
but i got up,
cleaned up,
and walked out of my room
trying to act like a tsunami hadn't come
destroying everything
yet again