I fall I fall
On surfaces that
Are ***** and damp and clammy and flat
I fall and land, but curtsey and stand
And while the crowds, they clap
My dress, it hangs
Over feet that cracked
I am I am
A tiny glass house
And my heart it beats under a tightly wound blouse
That accentuates my chest and shows off the rest
But carves my bones and burns my flesh
I wish I wish
Upon a star
That looks down on us
And giggles from afar
That crowds, and their parties and mirrors and reflections
Could stop biting my heels and offering objections
But since the world is just but a boat
That everyone rows to stay afloat
And since this sea ask only for performance
I'll put on my dress and dance for my audience
And as they clap as I fall but stand
I'll whisper to myself a tiny demand
That the next performance won't be so long
And the dance and prance won't finish the song
That when I jump my glass feet will shatter
And I'll disappear from space and matter

Oh, how my heart aches when you say that. To know someone else had engraved their name when your name was all over mine. But the name feels nothing more than wounds and scars. For I am not your person or your first. I was merely a single line when you were my complete book. I was a single lyric when you were my entire song. I was a drop of water when you were my entire ocean. I was a star when you were my entire galaxy. You were the moon spilling light over my thoughts and breaking through the dark days when I was merely the darkness. You were the sun in my life, offering warmth and clearing the night sky when I was merely the blue sky. My heart aches and breaks and bleeds and I can not tell you how much it hurts. For I am speechless as the tears scrape my cheek and leave me gasping to breathe. I am grasping nothing but smoke. For the memories are rewinding and altering as my heart bleeds through the fracture that was plastered with your love. You were an ordinary mundane who revolutionalized my world, loved me into loving myself. You were the person who’s arms I found comfort in, where my skin felt comfortable in. My soul felt like it was home when I looked into your eyes. But sadly, the house in your heart was an illusion. For my love could seep not deeper into your heart but remained on the shore of your mind.

My best friend told me I’m in love with love
At first I didn’t think anything of it
But now I see it
I really am in love with the concept and everything that comes with it

This isn’t a good thing
Matter of fact it’s the complete opposite
Just the thought of having someone to always talk to and even go on dates or just cuddle sounds great
But at the same time I feel weird about it all

Having someone depending on me
Someone who isn’t my parents or friends isn’t something I like so much
In the movies it seems all great
Probably because it isn’t me or romantic movies are hardly ever accurate

I get so wrapped up in a fantasy
By fitting into the idea of what I want in a partner
So then I could mark all the checks on the list

Grit your teeth and silence your words
A lady must be delicate, like the songbirds.
Stand up straight, your chin held high
Presentation is how you will get by.
Unruly hair in a bun, heels two inches tall
Perfection is a must as if you are a doll.
Go to college, get good grades
Being a writer won't pay anyways.
Be independent, but not too wild
We raised you to be a conservative child.
Look to your sister she does it right
She has a job, a boy, and soon a dress of white

But I'm not her, I try to say
It's frustrating to be compared this way.
I prefer the company of fictional characters
Then to be defined by the parameters
Of a life that you have created for me and not by me
Where I am scrutinized if I stumble
Or take a tumble.
When I look up, you tell me to gaze back down
Smile my dear, no one wants to see you frown

We want what’s best for you
Don’t you want it too?
A house, a husband, maybe a child or two.

But I still desperately hope they will see
What’s best for my life, for my future possibilities
Is for me to be me.