Hello Elena how are you doing
I must say that those idiots got to you
As you are not FBI as I hoped to be
But instead an artist and writer
Bold choice!  This right now is the pits for
Me.   School they don’t accept me and they
Make me look crazy! Instead of someone
Who wants to make a difference.   Can you try
To be a polygraph examiner, but I you want to
Be creative I understand as that the bullying is intense.
You say it will get better, I hope it will
I am writing this as I am crying my self to sleep
I believe it will get worse before it gets if any better
So many psychopaths that I have to deal with
It is sai to be honest.   Will I ever have friends
Or will I disappear!    I hope I don’t, please learn
From me!

Me as a fourteen y/o

misspoke.
made a
mistake. am
too much space.
want to erase &
retrace my steps. can't
face myself in the mirror
every word, an error.
stumble like
a drunk
with shoulders shrunk
over what to say

should i
shut up? you've
had enough

You are harsh
To yourself.
Why would this be ?
Has life made you doubt
Of the worth that I see ?
We are driven
By others ,
And our brain the driver.
Speeding too fast
From someone no wiser.
Breaking the breaks
When our gas is low.
Others do see ,
Yet nobody shows.

Do you really wish
For them to proceed?
Wrecking your worth
Until you bleed.

But thoughts
Of our own,
Are no others to mould.
Your mind is free
As is your soul.

For the mind it cracks
Under false illusion.

As conclusions of false ,
Are the brains confusions.

I am no good.
Not the look of light
And ‘beauty’ that I should.
You say this once ,
Now twice in fights.
Saying my body
Is all but nice.
Fine.
I am so good to despise.
Not the look of woman
That you need in sight.
But that’s alright,
Your mind has fled.
To dream of a woman
Of ‘beauty’ in bed.

Lumpenproletariat's                     
Comprise the population
Revolutionized, new variants
Attempt consolidation.
Socialist experiments or
Anthropology's deviation?
Avoidance- societal detriments of health:
Classism's obliteration.

We once shared the same songs
If I'd focus, I could hear what you hear
All I needed was to let my heart act as a sail
You made me let go of fear

My faith has gotten stronger
The storm has turned into a nervous song
A song of the rain has morphed into a shelter of the mind
This power can right the wrongs in my life

But this planet will die, and so will the vile
So I talk all night about something pure
You will see that I have a life
I can't lie to you, you know I'm broken and poor

You have created a hole in my heart
There is a hunger that aches for your art
But I have waited too long to not start
I joke to everyone that she's **** smart

The wind changes speeds and the cities fall asleep
I could go oceans deep and search for that storm
But my power signals that this calmness runs deep
Let this moment of silence stay between us

Meet Jane, she squanders her life chasing love
Now everyone thinks she squanders her life
On sweet nothing but
By Jove! what a thing she has experienced in her lifetime:
Only God knows;
Yet they thought she squander her life on sweet nothing

Meet John he lives his life struggling
Now everyone thinks he is in love with struggles,
But is life not full of struggles.
O! What a thing he has seen in his lifetime,
Because he struggled with it, yet they though
He squanders his life searching for fool’s gold
And empty dreams.

Meet Jack he spends his time drinking and partying
Now everyone thinks he squanders his life having fun.
Hmm! All work and no play make Jack a dull boy and this
Dull Jack has the hounds of hell on his heels when he is
Sober, they had no idea what he was going through;
Yet they thought he squander his entire life
Being miserable and drunk all the time.

Meet Matt he works all his life to earn a living
And everyone thought he squander his life working,
Ah! Is not more work the reward for hard-work and
No one cares that he has promises to keep and places to
Be, yet they thought he squanders his entire life working
And may end an old lonely fellow.

Meet Abby she squanders most of her livelihood on fashion and
Material things and everyone thought she squanders her livelihood on useless things.
Oy! Some things have to give, that’s the way it has been but
No one cares she had a craving to satisfy and insecurities to hide
With cloth that glitters, yet thought she squanders her life on material things; so that she could be the center of attention.  

Let them think all they like. Let them say whatever they think of
We all have our crosses to carry, our insecurities and habit, and promises to deal with.
Life is meant to be squandered on something whether it's on a noble deed or a selfish act?
Life is meant to be squandered on something whether it's on a
Meaningless or meaningful Things?  
Life is meant to be squandered on our wishes and whips and
We have seconds of it to squander,
We have minutes of it to squander,
We have hours of it to squander,
We have days off it squanders,
We have weeks of it to squander,
We have years of it to squander,
We have a lifetime of it to squander till we are no more,
Till we return to the very dust that we are created out of.

single digit self esteem

Glass dome full Of sticks,
stones grown in a broken home.
Windows; mirrors cracked

Glass dome full Of sticks,
stones grown in a broken home.
Windows; mirrors cracked