i bypassed everything and went straight for the neck
not out of cruelty
but because I was tired of pretending
I didn’t want the truth raw
unfiltered
still pulsing
I didn’t want the small talk
the polite detours
the scenic route through your curated grief
I wanted the place where your voice breaks
where the mask slips
where the ache lives without apology
I bypassed the stories you rehearsed
the ones with clean endings
the ones you tell at parties
to make your pain sound poetic
I wanted the version you don’t write down
the one that stutters
the one that bleeds
I bypassed the eyes
the hands
the heart
all the places people say love lives
I went for the neck
because it’s where the pulse hides
where the breath catches
where the body remembers
what the mind tries to forget
I didn’t mean to be violent
I intended to be honest
I meant to say
I see you
without the armor
without the script
without the smile you wear
when you lie
I bypassed everything
because I didn’t want the version of you
that survived
I wanted the version
that still doesn’t know how

Yet another evening that turns into night
and the thoughs in my head that want me to die.
Oh no.
God no.

How deep does, the rabbit hole go?
The question, the answer I really wish to know.

Is there a glow,
that one can follow,
or is there just emptiness,
that will always  feel – shallow.

There must be a judge, a jury, a...
No.
God, no.

There isn’t anyone and when you die you’re just dead.
The only thing that matters:
“Live your life with no regret!”

No god.
Just no.

the issue begins when some men believe,
that giving them birth, was another’s mischief.

No.
Please no.

The way you move your hips
To the rhythm we’ve created
As the lips slide across one another
****, you so ******’ wet
To the way I push down on ya pelvis
My otha lips French kissin’
Our tongues rubbing, caressin’ ... vertically sometimes a horizontal movement
All while your juices run into mine ....
The rhythm we’ve created is mixing the two
Creating this ******’ mess we call ecstasy
The most wettest, slipperiest, sweet as nectar comes
The perfect consistency to slurp
Just to allow a little to drip so that it can be twirled and played with
It’s called sprung juice.... THA ******* GOING type juice... The “I promise to always...” juice.... That I’m not and don’t ******* play when it comes to you no matter who it is!! Tha ****!
The feeling makes my limbs go numb
Creates this pulsating wavy feeling
I’m weak, your panting and we’re in total bliss
Too sensitive to touch
Too sensitive and exhausted to move
“Just let me lay here” I tell you
The supernova we created was so intense
We can only hold hands while we fall asleep
Wishing to dream of what just took place
I’ve met my match
I have the intimacy piece that was missing
It was you, My ******’ Dawg 🤞🏽💕

I know that there was a line that I sewn upon my skin
Thread made of emotions that I couldn’t hold on to
They slipped and slid and came out of my grasp
And if I tried to lock them away, they’d easily undo the clasp
I sit at a wheel, my finger at a thorn,
Spinning roses, and flowers, and threads for toys
If I can create something, something to be kept,
Would I someday find these things again and learn to accept?
Or would the thread someday fade and unwind behind the scenes
Undoing in the corners, ripping the seams
Things like these, I know, weren’t meant to last forever
They were meant to be loved, cared for, watched, and maintained.
But if I cannot move myself from this bed,
And catch the hands of the monster speaking in my head
Would I be able to learn how to thread the eye of the needle
So I could learn to love again?

I’ve never met
Someone like you
You’re just so…

“In control of my emotions”

No
Scared of them