i smell the sulfur in my blood

as it drips from my fingernails

onto the ground -

iron returning to iron.  

sometimes i think i see

macroscopically

because faces aren’t faces

they’re eyes staring back at me.

i can’t bring myself to look

so i stare at the cracks of their hands -

broken palms moving back and forth

to words i don’t understand.  

i see the sky and think of the sea

and wonder if the clouds taste of salt -

but there’s a growing buzz

that sounds like vocal chords being

rubbed against one another

like the shriek of a violin,

so i cast my gaze to my own flesh.  

it is beige and soft and strange

and i just want to rip it off

and expand past the atmosphere -

leaving behind calcium and phosphorous.  

instead i continue to bite away at myself

and rain red.

my head's underwater
but i'm breathing fire

I’m searching for Paradise
Beyond the vast ocean on a beach filled with white sand
Under the palm tree in the shadows of untamed land
Where the ocean tides pave over the imprints of a desolate shore
And the wind echoes around caressing the sun drenched floor
In front of the sea, sparkling from the sun’s radiant light
Waiting to set, and be engulfed by the night
In my hand I clasp upon a cold and crisp, refreshing beer
Looking upon the horizon so clear
Oh, wouldn’t it be so nice
To escape this place to Paradise

I’m searching for Paradise
On an immeasurable plane of green land tangent only to a white mountain range
Where the prairie has been spared from the time of industrial change
In front of the sun as it strokes the horizon line
I sit, while I clasp upon my tall glass of wine
The sky is painted by an array of colors, reflecting off tranquil clouds
Free from the hustle and bustle of crowds
The grass is soft, like long bristles of velvet fur
As the pollen rises from the flowers, it creates an indescribable blur
Oh, wouldn’t it be so nice
To escape this place to Paradise

I’m searching for Paradise
In the big city, illuminated by artificial light
Surrounded by friends in the chaos of night
We trek, pushing through the people infested street
And pulse to the music of an inescapable beat
In the heat of passion, impossible to explain
We pop bottle after bottle of the most exclusive champagne
Under the stars, beneath the glittering sky
Indulging within the penthouse so high.
Oh, wouldn’t it be so nice
To escape this place to Paradise



I’m searching for Paradise
On the edge of the world, perched upon a soaring cliff
Where you can taste the cool crisp air with but only a whiff
As the sun begins to peak out from beneath the earths womb
I pour a drink, full of spirits to consume
The birds begin to sing in metronomic rhyme
I sing along, to count the time
In the twilight hour sets
The new day begins as I’m purged of regrets
Oh, wouldn’t it be so nice
To escape this place to Paradise



I’m searching for Paradise
After an extensive and exhausting day of work
Grueling and toiling for a boss who’s a ****
Breaking my back for the lowest of scraps
Sweating and Striving till my knees collapse
I return to an undersized and meager house
To be greeted by my enduring spouse
Embracing the responsibility of my new role as a father
I look upon the face of my daughter
And within her eyes so nice
I finally find Paradise

We're both the same element
but she's wildfire
and I'm a weapons maker
the tempered blacksmith
too distant in his own work
over planning a "good use"
for all my passions

I presumed to craft a spear
150,000 ft at least
I'll **** and **** away in silence
sipping coffee in my low hearth haven
In hopes you wonder how I really feel
and perhaps spill fire *****-nilly
embers annoying friends and family
catch the drapes inadvertently

Will this distance vow we agreed upon without metaphor
be mended through silent adhering
Or is the Lady of the Ram waiting
for a golden armor gesture
Where I appear unannounced
and we'll turn your wild fire into iron flowers

For now, I stare at my forge
going blind.

Fireworks never frightened me
When I was younger, I used to reach up to the sky
Hoping that I could somehow catch them
I guess it worked somehow
The sparks made their way into my veins
Igniting everything they touched
I soon embodied fire
It spewed out of me during arguments
Burned down all my bridges
It was my armor, my protection
Until it engulfed the people I loved
In flames not even I could extinguish
One by one they left
And for the first time in history
Fire transformed into water
Now, instead of an inferno
There is a flood
Instead of sparks
There is rain
Instead of burns
Everyone is drowning
I will never be the person they want me to be
I am either too much
Or never enough