sweat dripping from my thighs
grey tank glued on me
i still got you on my mind
the world ending right before my eyes
murders crying wolf
my generation getting gassed and kidnapped
in the streets of LA, MIA, NYC, BA, CIN
drowning my days with tyler, the creator
humming to me
hoping to feel something
the way you used to make me feel
when we parted ways until our next life time

politicians hungry to violate civil rights
black, brown, trans
manifesting it in their dreams
they have it written in human blood
without a mask on to shield them
from the disease that is their greed

my perception jaded
my thoughts paralyzed
my body aching
might hit that pen
can’t even pick up a pen
having more time than my 20 years of existence

How do I do?
How do I see?
How do  i face the consequence of my reality?

How do I cope?
How is it real?
A revival of our mosaics within the weaving of a century

There were many times I didn't want to do this life.
Multiple hours of struggling with the advisory council within my duvet.
I was drowning or sinking but wasn't breathing, or swimming or living.
and on repeat: sad and depressed, lost in aloofness

And I had nothing, nothing of use to say.
And yet I had all my answers on display.

Deeper than these scars within,
Cuts the fear of failing you;
Runs wider than the seas combined,
Tides of time are crashing down,
I cannot stop this drowning man;
Gasps of truth still hurting you,
Sinking now in waves of shame,
I can never find my breath again.

TS Lefort

There was a time when I was trapped
On an island none could see
As I waited there on the darkened lands
For someone to find me
Days and days spent gazing out
At the still, empty waters
Never knowing when the day will come
That my life here would falter
I wonder if there would be a day
I would want life less than death
But if I tried jumping into the sea
I know I would hold my breath
Staying here, I am confined
On an island of my own making
Wondering if this day will be my last
But next morning I keep waking
There’s no way off this silent place
No way to end this pain
And I can’t stop my will to live
From continuing to drain
As I gaze upon the shimmering blue
I know no one’s here to save me
And as I watch the days ticking by
I know no one’s here to free me
But now I know as I continue to live
My freedom’s not defined by others
And I cannot keep waiting here
To be freed by another
So now I know never to wait
Until the tank fills to the brim
When no one’s there to witness you drown
You teach yourself to swim

— OrcasTogether

six months
i've spent 6 months hoping you'd love me at least have as much as I love you

six months
hoping one day you'd call me to say you've loved me all along and it just took you a while to realize I'm the one for you

six months
drowning in a cold lifeless ocean with you thinking of someone else on the warm sandy shore

six months
thinking about you every single day

six months
spent hating you yet loving you so **** much

six months
that I would never wanna take back for anything else, because I know it's gonna be worth it in the end