i wonder, did it ever cross your mind
to wonder how it felt to give my heart to you?
how it felt to break down my walls and bare my soul?

yeah, okay.
i admit that may have been a bit dramatic.
but i think that's just how it was with you.
i felt every word, every laugh, every smile
[and, truthfully, every carefully platonic touch.]
just a little too much to suit my cowardly self.

the thing is, everything you came from
[and everything you brought me, too]
was always just a little too much for me.
oh, but you know how much i like it when it hurts.

so, i let those walls fall down and i bared my soul.
i asked for nothing more than you could give,
and i gave you everything i could give in return.

but now, i suppose you never told me one thing.
you felt i wanted something more from you,
enough to take away the thing that made you smile.

but god, you know me better than the things you accused me of.
how many times and in how many words had i wished not for you,
but for the happiness i knew you deserved?

there is only so much i can say,
and even little that i can do,
to make things different.

and i have nothing left to give, anyway.
my heart is tired of beating, and my soul?
it's just tired of being pushed around.

so i'll back myself in a corner,
and watch the world pass by.
pray for you to forgive me and, maybe,
stop by and say hi.

sometimes i'm too easily amused
by the things that should bring me down.
i laugh at the thoughts
that should make me uncomfortable.
(i'm being dramatic. really,
they're just thoughts about
humanity and reality.)

an example;
the other day, i had a thought.
a silly thought. a simple one.
i thought to myself,
"i'm running from the responsibility
of knowing
that i'm running from responsibility"
it wasn't an intelligent thought.
it wasn't even that dramatic.

i laughed anyway.