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Jeremy Betts Nov 2024
I've run out of sheep to count
Leaving me wide awake through this living nightmare
Sowing a seed of doubt
Is life's refusal to even consider fighting fare
Each step taken while walkin' about
Feeds on the back of my mind, whispering, "do it if you dare"
Fueling despair
Instigating internal warfare
Causing excessive ware and tare
Resulting in a head of hair gone bare
And I'm forced to bite my tongue completely off
To keep from admitting I no longer care

©2024
Nemusa Nov 2024
The eyes—mirrors of sins, fragments of something deeper, darker—reflected back as she stared, hollow but alive in the stillness. She felt the starvation of the beast within her, pacing, clawing, a quiet desperation gnawing at her ribs. Her wings spread like the golden dawn's promise, a cruel mirage of escape, yet the weight of life pulled her back, anchoring her to the earth.

In the quiet hours, he whispered, we’re always alone, and the words nestled like burrs in her mind, scratching, lingering. She felt their truth seep in, unavoidable and raw, threading itself into the fabric of her mind like stitches holding together a wound that refused to heal.

Vivid dreams clawed at her in sleep—visions of other lives, other faces, shadowed figures speaking to her in gestures, fingers dancing in sign language, secrets woven in the air. She would wake in paralysis, shackled in silence, eyes wide as if staring into a void that she knew was watching her, always watching.

Scars of hope, she thought, tracing the lines on her arms, the stories she'd written in flesh, layered beneath the numb veil of sedatives. She had cut past ties in time, sharp and clean, slicing away the tethers that bound her to memory, to faces that no longer lingered in her dreams. Every attempt had been a rebirth, each suicide a reawakening of truth. And yet, she had awoken again, the wilting pulse of survival pressing her forward.

The elders would decide—her fate, her future, as if it were some verdict to be handed down from faceless arbiters of her despair. She walked into the darkness as if it were her home, her familiar lover, arms open to its hollow embrace, knowing it would never abandon her. There were no more tomorrows, only a slow descent into silence, punctuated by the beat of a dying heart.

And as the night stretched on, she listened
Todd Sommerville Nov 2024
I did not cry today, and I fear

For I could not find one thing

to bring my heart to tears.

Have I grown callus,

Have I grown cold,

Has anger replaced empathy,

or am I just growing old.

Does age exempt my tears,

or have I just run dry.

It saddens me Deeply,

but not enough to cry.
Todd Sommerville Nov 2024
In a lonely darkened pit I wander,
some might call it hell
but it's far too familiar
every texture, every smell.

It's been with me for so long
I choose to call it home
this cold and lonely labyrinth
of desperation that I roam.

Searching in vain for my true love fair

Crying out her name hoping she'll be there,
but only the wind will answer
echoing her name,

taunting me and haunting me
is it all just a dream.

An opioid delusion as a field of poppies I cross.

Breathing in a fragrance nearly as intoxicating as her,
down the rabbit hole I tumble
everything becomes a blur.

Alice sweet Alice
won't you please come home.

This is no wonderland since you've gone.
now on my you tube channel

ww.youtube.com/@tsummerspoetry
K Nov 2024
The high seeps into my bones
trickling slowly, inward, and deeply
as if my body has turned to liquid
I float

i float past the anger i felt during work today
the desperation to be anywhere but there
i pass the happiness i felt in my car with a smoothie bowl
jamming to my music feeling optimistic for once
then i see it,
the despair, the guilt, the ugly
the moments growl at me
they are so wrapped in their own misery to never see the light
they deserve to stay here

the place i can float away from
where they only haunt me when I'm trying to escape from solitude
April 18 2023
Charlotte Huston Nov 2024
I shot an Arrow
Into the air
It fell to Earth
I knew not where;

'Tis aim was true

And filled with despair
Your words and actions could affect others without you ever knowing.
Jason Adriel Nov 2024
I think of myself from 5 years ago
would struggle to recognize me
he'd say "what the hell happened?"
and I would have no answer

in truth, I have no answer
for all my shortcomings
when I was a kid,
people called me brave

people listened to me
I was sure of every single thing
I sought out to do, every little step
was calculated, as if I knew what I was doing

I was once a bright child
maybe the tallest beacon in my family
my grandpa and grandma sure thought so
and my mom and dad didn't seem to mind the idea

what the hell am I now?
who is that person in the mirror?
I fret over these questions in my head
but found no answer

who am I now?
not even God can say...
just a little dose of despair at night, like the doctor ordered
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